to not want to spend £150 on my PIL's xmas present?

[Flyonthewindscreen]

in the context that £150 is the same as we are spending on both DC in total and way way more than I have spent in total on my DF/SM(£30ish) or anybody else including DH? Also we have had an expensive year and are trying to economise a bit generally including on xmas gifts.

DH and me and SIL and her DP have had a tradition in the last few years that we club together and get the PIL a night in a hotel with dinner as a joint xmas present. Last years hotel deal was £160 so that worked out at £80 split between DH/SIL. This year SIL has found a "deal" for £300, so that's £150 each. DH has already emailed her back saying that seems v pricy and suggesting a cheaper alternative but SIL didn't like his suggested hotel.

Xmas and SIL and us are already a touchy issue as we have already had a big hoohah over us not going to the ILs and them coming to us instead which they eventually agreed to so we could do without having something else for SIL to be annoyed with us about but at the end of the day £150 - AIBU?

YANBU. That is a lot of money. She should have asked you before how much you wanted to pay or could afford and then took it from there.

Time to stop the tradition!

I am not buying any adults presents this year! Stupid and unneccessary, one small token for my mum for the children to give her xmas morning, and likewise very small tokens to Dsis and BIL from the children!

Thats it! Oh and I have spent max £150 on both my children as well!

Yep - that's a ridiculous amount. Give her a ball park figure that you can afford and move on.

Or just abandon the tradition altogether.

She can be touchy, but you can't afford what you can't afford and I doubt you PIL would wnat you getting into debt over this however much they enjoy their treat.

In fact, when was the last time anyone asked the PIL's if they do still enjoy this treat? Is it possible there's something they'd like more?

it is a lot. if you can't afford that may be it is a good idea to change the tradition, let sil do her own thing and you chose your own seperate present. maybe something else like tickets for something they would enjoy, it could be a bit more reasonable price but still along the same lines of a treat and a day/night out?

I think Best western and some of the red letter day companies do overnight hotel/ dinner vouchers

Share ione of those so yourPIlcan choose and top up iof they wish to go somewhere else

All sorted

~(no deffo not BU)

Thanks for replies - didn't think IABU but thought best to get views of mn jury! Think SIL will have to agree to cheaper joint present or she can do her own thing...

Also, do they really like the gift?
It does sound nice-but every year?

Perhaps just a nice meal somewhere would be enough?

If you ca´t afford it, you can´t and if she´s upset-tough imo!

PIL do enjoy the annual "hotel treat" I think, the problem is that SIL seems determined to ramp it up and make it a bit more special (and expensive) every year. I will point out to DH that if we fork out £150 this year, chances are high SIL will find something that costs £200 next year!