AIBU to want to strangle my manager?

[Louby3000]

I have jsut returned to work after being off on Mat Leave. I work for a Local Authority and work mainly in schools, with some admin work done from home or the office. I have been returning to work the whole time, I have not once sugested that I would not be. I have set up 4 meetings with my boss over the year to talk about my return, the date I would come back in, the handover with my maternity cover etc etc. My return date has been fixed and agreed upon for over 2 months.

So the week commencing my return, I ping an email saying, you know looking froward to seeing everyone, getting my laptop back, that sort of stuff, and then ask specifically are we still on to meet at the said time place. No reply. So 2 days before I go back, I call and get VM, I then call my admin person, she says boss is working and has been responding to calls emails in general, so she will tell him to call me. He doesnt.

So I am working on the assumption that all is well, and off I trot into work. Iron clothes night before, make packed lunches for me and DS. Drop DS off at childminders, trot into work. NO ONE IS THERE. Boss is off on a training course, and mat leave cover is in a school! I am so flippin angry.

My admin person looks uncomfortable for me and says, well you know this is just like him. I have nothing to do, and so find some reading and come back home.

This type of piss poor management is him all over, I want to talk to him about it, but he is oblivious and will just yeah yeah me. I think I want to talk to his boss about it, WWYD, and AIBU??

gah, how bloody irritating, what a wanker!

I'd scowl and complain and not really do anything about it, when is he back from the training course?

Actually, one thing I would do would be to check that I was actually getting paid from the agreed date, regardless of whether there was any work there for me.

I would have forwarded the unacknowledged email you sent to him before you were due to return, directly on to his boss, stating how many times you had tried to ring.

I would state that I had had no response at all, and please could his boss clarify the situation? That would have dumped him right in it, quite rightly too, and is exactly how I always deal with people like this.

You have to make it clear when people are behaving unacceptably, but I always try to do it in a work way, and try and take any personal feelings or anger out of it.

From his point of view, he clearly isn't that bothered about communication, or his job, or you, and I can imagine he will be defensive and say he had no choice about going on the training course. I wouldn't be cross about the training course, I would be cross about the lack of communication.
The only real issue you can tackle here is this lack of communication, which is appalling.
To be honest, I don't think the situation is great.
In my experience, he will not change, and in the long run if I were you I'd look for a transfer or another job. I would be very concerned that if the attitude at work about him is 'well you know this is just like him' then it's unlikely his boss is bothered by it...

VERY good point from IMove - talk to HR and check he's informed them and organised the pay etc!

great post by picmaestress. I'd add some stuff about how hard it is for women to return to work after ML and how you were expecting better support than this and hope it is not a sign of you being treated any differently now that you have been off on ML.... that should put the cat among the pigeons.

Thanks for your posts, I have called HR and checked that I will be paid, and I also called the LA listening service and got some advice from them. I am going to set up a meeting with his boss, who is our group boss, and used to be my old boss (!) and explain the situaion. The thing is we all work pretty autonomously in the team, and although I dont want or need to be micro-managed I think he needs a kick up the arse! I was going to go for the angle of stating my dissapointment about how the return to work had been managed. I just dont want to work for/with him now as I think he is a total prat.
I have started looking for another job. Good thing is though in my team I am seen in a good light. So I know the big boss will be on side, as he should be.
Just made my returnm to work so stressful and annoying and has sort of set the tone fo how I view wor now, which is not positive at all. My boss is a poster boy for council bods that do nothing!

This is very poor behaviour. but id advise against going in all guns blazing straight away until you know the facts. grassing him and sending pissy emails to his boss might not be the answer here, definately check in with HR and make sure you are getting paid. Then have a very straight chat with him, let him know how disappointed you are etc and see what he has to say, and see if he has any excuses? Then agree with other posters once you know where things stand, you can decide if you can live with it.

I also dont agree with aussieeng (sorry) to start using the ML issue here, we are all equal here! Stay professional, express your anger but dont bring the ML issue into it, as you might create an iddue that is not there. I doubt this is anything to do with you being on ML. just piss poor behaviour

Thanks, I have tried talking to him on other occasions about other things when I have not been happy. I think it is just his way. I feel like talking to him directly would not benefit me. I dont want him to be punished or anything like that, I just want him to hear it from someone he will sit up and take notice of.
I think I am going to write it all down and gather my "evidence" and then see how I feel. I wont need to see him for a few days now anyway.