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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Very young children scooting by busy roads?

64 replies

SmoothCriminal · 10/12/2009 09:06

This seems to be the 'in' thing around here. On the school run every other child is on a scooter. I'm pretty shocked though to see preschoolers zooming ahead, especially alongside the main road.

Am I just too cautious? I would never trust my DC to stop at crossings or not veer off into the road. We have some but only take them out in the park or on the heath.

OP posts:

Original poster

SmoothCriminal · 10/12/2009 10:44

Re - the picture. I allow them to go far away from me in the park , even out of sight as I know they are too scared to wander off anyway. Similarly in supermarkets they can browse the toy aisle while I look at the next along. These are small freedoms that don't pose a definite threat.

I know we all kow our own children and all are different but I think letting a 3 year old scoot ahead of you along a main road is just asking for an accident to happen. Not worth the risk.

OP posts:

Undercovasanta · 10/12/2009 10:47

Muddleduck - you are right in saying that you cannot eliminate all risk, but it can be a measured risk.
My 3 yo DD walks to preschool and back everyday with me. I have a buggy to push as well, and we walk down a steep hill with no pavements, around 2 blind corners. She walks brilliantly cos she knows she has to, and even swaps sides unasked on the way, so that she is never on the traffic side of me. She never runs off, and walks carefully. She knows to hold on to the pushchair by busy roads.
However, I wouldn't let her run 20 feet in front of me towards traffic, and trust that she would stop. Cos sometimes she gets a bit carried away cos she sees someone she knows, or trips over.

Hassled · 10/12/2009 10:48

NKffff is right - as parents we're constantly making risk assessments and it's exhausting. I've seen plenty of small kids screech around corners or stop perilously close to the pavement, and it scares the wits out of me. And I HATE the children who scoot up behind pedestrians apparently out of nowhere - it's as bad as cyclists on the pavement IMO.

My oldest DC was hit by a car when he was 4 - he just let go of my hand and went ahead of me across the road. He's alive and well today (it was pretty bad at the time) but because of that I'm hyper-neurotic when it comes to road safety. Trying to get the balance between road safety and "we're all going to DIE!!!" is hard.

SexySantasWearPrimark · 10/12/2009 10:56

Gosh Hassled wat a fright! i'm glad he is okay.

One of myearlest memories is my best friend being hit by a car as she ran across the road to an icecream van. We were 5. She still suffers with vision problems now.

Maybe that has made me more protective but why not?

I'm hardly going to be trailing them to Comprehensive school telling them to wait for the green man.

SexySantasWearPrimark · 10/12/2009 10:57

(sorry I'm the OP - SmoothCriminal was a misjudged namechange - now I've got my xmas clothes on hehe)

muddleduck · 10/12/2009 10:58

I agree that the balance is hard.
But at least we are worried about it. IMO trying to find the balance, is better than either not caring about risk (and letting our kids scoot/cycle out of control) or trying to avoid any (immediate) risk by strapping them in an unnecessary buggy.

OtterInaSkoda · 10/12/2009 11:04

We lived on a very, very busy road and walked everywhere (ime it's the dcs who are driven everywhere that lack roadsense).
I watched my scarily road-aware 4yo run straight across a side road without a glance. He couldn't hear me call out to him to stop. He'd never done it before and has never done it since. Nowt happened but it was a real wake-up call - basically below a certain age dcs are just too easily distracted to travel alongside roads on foot (or bike, or scooter) without being in very close proximity to an adult.
There are plenty of safer areas for them to roam free and be shown how much you trust them, imo.

Mistletoesnowman · 10/12/2009 11:05

DS is 3 and he scoots in front of me. We've worked very hard to ensure that he understands the rules - that he never goes round a corner so I can always see him, that he scoots away from the kerb (he's very hot on this and tells me off if I inadvertently walk on the inside of him), he stops at all roads and on the really steep hill that we walk down he has little milestones where he waits for me (post box, big hedge etc). I'm really keen that he learns road sense and I think he gets this by lots of repetition and by being trusted to do the right thing. I'm proud to say I totally trust him to follow these rules as he's proved to me that I can .

NKffffffffee0f8010X1140828dc0e · 10/12/2009 11:08

smooth crim - you allow them to go far away in park and out of sight and it doesn't pose a definate threat. This is what i mean by all parents draw their own lines based on past experience and knowledge of their own kids. Although, i personally couldn't allow what you allow yet, i don't think you are wrong for doing it. There is a possible threat in allowing them out of sight and there is a possible threat in allowing to scoot beside road but there's a possible threat in so many things (Most accidents actually happen in the home) and we each do the best we can in making our own judgements.

Knownowt · 10/12/2009 11:10

YANBU. You can't control all risks and you shouldn't try to, but to me this seems too great a risk with potential outcomes that are too serious. I live in centralish London, there's a huge amount of traffic, and yet the pavements are covered with 2 and 3yos pelting along, their mothers a good 20m behind. Too dangerous and also pretty antisocial.

Washersaurus · 10/12/2009 11:10

My children scoot to school and nursery (they are 4 and 2yo). They zoom ahead of me and I can't always catch them up, but they ALWAYS stop at the kerb and wait for me, and know when I tell them to stop or to go steady, that I mean it.

I would rather give them the freedom to learn the dangers this way than keep them on reins or strapped into the buggy - at least they are getting some valuable exercise!

Only the parents know what their child is capable of and how trustworthy they are out and about, so I think you should mind your own business.

SexySantasWearPrimark · 10/12/2009 11:19

But what if they hit a broken paving stone and veer into the road , what if they are distracted and don't stop at a junction. Too many what ifs?

Washersaurus · 10/12/2009 11:23

All those risks are the same if they are running or skipping though. Or don't you let your children walk at all?

My children do fall off their scooters but from that they have learned to be more careful. Experience is the best way for them to learn, as someone else said, you can't protect them from all the possible risks.

Morloth · 10/12/2009 11:23

DS has always scooted/rode his bike along since about 3yo. He will stop and knows that he has to stop with a good 5 feet of the road. Road sense is something that has been drilled into him as a city kid over and over and over again. Not come close, not even once. To be fair though I move pretty quick so he is rarely move than a couple of steps ahead of me (this is the reason he is allowed wheels, so he can keep up).

If there are lots of pedestrians about I carry the scooter.

Morloth · 10/12/2009 11:27

Also he knows he has to "hug" the wall i.e. stay as far as physically possible from the road and to treat driveways like roads.

NKffffffffee0f8010X1140828dc0e · 10/12/2009 11:34

and what if someone snatched your child while they are out of your sight in the park or what if they ran in front of the swings or what if another child shoved them onto the floor or what if they ran onto road near park whilst caught up in a game? As parents we spend our live what if-ing and you're never free from worry once you have kids! You can not write a parental rule book based on what you think is ok and have all other parents live by it so you do what you think is best for your own and try to understand that others are doing that too.

teameric · 10/12/2009 11:35

I agree Washersaurus but my DD is a bit of a nutter I've taught her about road safety and she knows the dangers but I just don't trust her yet.

Washersaurus · 10/12/2009 11:42

DS2 was so wild I kept him in his buggy for much longer than I did with DS1 (who was walking to nursery and back at around 18months), just to save my sanity - DS2 used to head straight into the road laughing just to get me chasing him!

When we gave him the scooter we did a few trial runs on days when it was quieter and he soon got the hang of the rules - he goes back on the buggy if he doesn't follow them, and DS1 is well versed in road safety and also keeps him in check.

figrollinthehay · 10/12/2009 11:44

I hate watching this too

Washersaurus · 10/12/2009 11:49

Watch your own blardy kids then and leave other people to mind theirs.

Honestly, the things people get het up about on here!

SexySantasWearPrimark · 10/12/2009 12:13

Yes we'll all just mind our own business all the time shall we.

ffs I'd never say anything or even cast a dissaproving eye.

Mistletoesnowman · 10/12/2009 12:25

I also love it when DS scoots as when he walks a 20min journey turns into a 45min one as he has to stop and jump off every wall or step, hide behind every lampost and pretend to be Spiderman or a Ben 10 Alien every 10 yards.

Washersaurus · 10/12/2009 12:30

Well it isn't like anyone is abusing their children by letting them have a bit of freedom is it? Just because you don't let your children do it, there is definitely no need for people to be getting on here about it.

muddleduck · 10/12/2009 12:34

When I left this thread it was an interesting discussion about balancing risk.

Why has it gone all ?

hate it when this happens...

SexySantasWearPrimark · 10/12/2009 12:50

It hasn't really.

I'm still interested in the balancing risk element. So for example. I live in a first floor flat and the bins are at the back. I always go out by myself leaving the Dc playing. There's risk they could run to the kitchen and get a knife/ I'd get locked out/ the house could set on fire etc. But that is so small as a risk I dismiss it.

However scooting along a main road has a small benefit to the risk involved so I wouldn't take the risk

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