to be pissed off with people who arrange to come over for lunch but then cancel the day before because they now 'have too much on'?

[ilikeyoursleeves]

I am annoyed with a mate of mine who arranged last week to come to mine tomorrow for lunch & to see me and the DC's. I am on mat leave so enjoy having people over to see me & the kids, the DC's love it too and today I bought some stuff in for lunch. I got a text late afternoon from her to say that she will be a bit busy tomorrow so doesn't think she can come anymore.

Is it just be or is that just plain rude given we arranged it last week and surely she can do whatever she needs to do another day! (she is single with no kids and masses of time). Plus she doesn't think she could drive all the way here (30 mins from hers) because she has to get back for a game of tennis.

bit of 50/50 I think. Not unreasonable to be annoyed but she did give you warning and didn't just phone on the actual day.
Would have been nice if she could have given a more valid reason, though as I can understand why you are at being stood up in favour of a tennis game as she shoudl have thought out her day before booking too much into it IMO.

Stuff happens, best made plans and all that. Maybe she just doesn't want to tell you the real reason. Invite someone else.

Even obtuse ppl would surely realise you'd have gone to some time/effort/expense re food and also tidying up, with dcs in tow. Rude and unthinking imo.

I have had to cancel a really important meeting tomorrow afternoon - potentially losing a sale - but I got a cancellation from the hospital for appointment.

I had to be vague and did not want to disclose the reason. I felt bad for doing it as I would be irritated if it happened to me but I need the appointment. What could I do?

in your case, YANBU.

Well today i found out the real reason why my friend cancelled (she had left it kind of open, saying she'd see how things go and let me know today if she could come up). She was spending the afternoon wrapping presents and putting up her feckin tree! And then playing tennis.

FFS.

I am so annoyed.

Particularly as it was my birthday last week and she said she would see me to catch up as she didn't see me on my birthday week.

IMO very selfish.

YABU - she phoned yesterday - she has other things to do and get on with - no matter how crap you think they are - it is her life and she is entitiled to do what she wants with it. It would have been more selfish of her to phone at 11 and say she couldn't make it. She didn't. She gave you a day and you can rearrange but her time is precious to her and maybe this is the only time she has to sort out her christmas things.

YANBU - you have children - she knows this. What she doesn't know is how much effort goes into 'doing lunch' for a friend now you have kids - which is basically A LOT! But she did give notice - however, if it was me, I'd be pissed off - but that's just me!

I think it is a bit rude of her. You say she is single and has masses of time, so this sounds like poor time management on her part. If she really wanted to have seen you, she could have done. But you are obviously low on her list of priorities so YANBU to feel peed off - and a little hurt. Perhaps she will break her ankle playing tennis - the courts are v. slippy ATM...

Sounds as though it's possible she wasn't looking forward to the visit for some reason...maybe she feels you aren't getting along as well as you should be, and is worried in case you don't really like her, your lives have drifted apart a bit,...or just plain child-phobia, it's been known

Look beyond the crappy excuse and maybe try to connect with her about whether something can be worked out. Maybe she wants to speak with you about something but bottled it? Who knows.

Bit rude, bit crap,but hey, its Christmas!

Ho Ho Ho.

YANBU.

It is inconsiderate. Sounds as if she agreed impulsively without thinking through the logistics, and then expected you to 'understand' - which of course, you would if it was an emergency or a real problem. But why should you be understanding because someone simply hasn't planned/organised themselves very well?

So, she gets to let you down on very short notice, and if you're not OK with it, you're the unreasonable one if you object/complain/don't take it with good grace?

Wonder why she thinks it is OK to cancel lunch with you, but doesn't think of cancelling her game of tennis?

As someone else said, invite another (more reliable) friend, if you can.

If it is any consolation, i was due to host 10 of dd's school friends and their Mums on Sunday afternoon for a pre-Christmas gathering/book group discussion. The date was agreed by all, and set 6 weeks ago. The gathering was cancelled last night by the organiser because half the group hadn't read the book, and/or had other holiday social opportunities (that had come up after our date was set). I'd already spent an evening searching recipe books/planning food (also already bought some of the food), and spent a full day cleaning and putting up Christmas decorations, ..........grrrrr!! Oh, and would I mind hosting in January instead??

People who don't have kids think that those of us who do (esp SAHM or on mat leave) always have a tidy home and a fully stocked fridge. We perpetuate this myth by buying in nice food when they visit and tidying up!

YANBU to be annoyed that she put you off for something you consider less pressing.

But 'masses of time' is relative. I'm sure she doesn't think she has masses of time.

YANBU its very rude of her

YANBU.