to think the school should try a bit harder on this one?

[cruelladepoppins]

OK, massive bias towards my own child here ...

DS2 aged 8 brought some wee things into school, hideous plastic toys that all the boys are playing with and sometimes swapping.

We have never allowed him to take toys into school before, and to be honest I didn't know he was doing it at first. But apparently "everyone is doing it", they were having fun, the toys are not expensive in themselves and he had bought them with his pocket money, so I didn't mind.

Anyway, he told me another boy had taken some of the things from his tray (where they put all their stuff on entering class), and when challenged had given him some of the things back but not all of them. Another boys had taken one or two of DS2's wee plastic toys home with him, and says he will return them but keeps "forgetting".

DS2 was unsure how to get help with this despite multifarious "cool in school" and anti-bullying policies. DH had a quiet word with his teacher about it and she said she would look into it if DS told her the circumstances.

Which he now has done. However the upshot seems to be that "this will teach him who to trust" - which is what she said to him - and it looks like no further intervention will be made.

It seems to me more like "this will teach him other people can nick his stuff and the school will do nothing about it".

On the other hand, the teacher is not wrong - it probably will teach him not to bring in stuff he can't face losing.

Should I be pushing for a bit more action from the school, or should I be encouraging him to write it off? He was so hopeful that the teacher would help him - he's normally a bit of a stoic and I hate to see anything get him down.

Well my DD1 is 8, and no way is she allowed to take stuff into school, am very surprised the school let them!
TBH if it was me I wouldnt be taking it up with the school, DD1 would get the "its not right to take other peoples stuff talk", and then a told you so for taking stuff into school!

My DC's school have banned anything like this for that exact reason. I find it bad enough at home with two of them arguing about who's Match Attack/Go-go.... belongs to who - a class of 38 doesn't bare thinking about!!!

I think you just need to chalk this one up. It's one of the main reasons that children are generally not allowed to bring things into school. It causes endless problems and ends up taking up teacher time to sort out.

He has learned the valuable lesson that school is not the place for toys. School should actually ban the toys. BTW was it your son or the teacher who told you that "everyone is doing it", if it's your son please bear in mind children's descriptions of what goes on at school are often fairly inaccurate!

Children bringing toys into class and those very same toys going missing are the thing I dislike most about teaching (which is a job I love).

Whilst it's great that your son had every faith in his teacher to locate the missing toys we are not the Police and if an item that shouldn't really be in school goes missing then there's not a lot we can do I'm afraid. Labelled items of PE equipment/coats/bookbags/violins etc. are things most teachers don't mind helping to find but toys are a different kettle of fish.

Yes, you're biased in favour of your son and you're bound to be; he's now lost a couple of toys and possibly a bit of faith in his teacher's super-human powers.

I think you're going to have to help your son to 'write off' these particular bits of plastic along with a reminder that school is for learning, not exchanging plastic creatures.

My personal approach to the appearance of 'Go-go' type toys is to suggest that they are handed in to me whereupon they are put in a sealed, labelled envelope and locked in my cupboard. Any child who declines this kind offer is reminded that I will take no responsibility or offer any sympathy to Go-go owners whose Go-goes go walkabout. I generally teach Y5/6 so they are old enough to know better... if they deliberately hide mobile phones in class (trays/pockets) instead of handing them in to the office I tell them that any I see will be sold on an auction site to raise money for school funds ... they tend to suddenly remember they have one with them and scuttle off to the office.

BLOODY GO GO'S!! My kids school allows them to take them in (in some classes, not all, depends on the teacher, and how p'd off annoyed he/she gets with sorting out disputes. Mine ARE allowed to take them, but they are told NO SWAPS in school time, after school with adults about only, and sharpies are wonderful...I mark the bottom of each go-go (yes its a PITA, but stops any rows with other kids/parents) with said childs initials. IF they swap them during school hours, and have a prob, my DS's are told, tough, told you not to. If they are taken from them, it's easy to tell, just look on the base for the initials. Teacher's workload halved! (and as an aside, never tread on the blinkin things in bare feet, they're worse than lego bricks!)

loudlass your first two words are what I was thinking
our school ban them

Oh I do understand how you feel - so difficult to see your children upset about stuff that just shouldn't happen.

FWIW, DS has had match attax cards and gogos and pokemons nicked time after time, and the school did nothing. Except ban the things after each spate of thefts.

It's horrible to see your kids upset and I'm not a horrible heartless creature but if you allow your kids to bring toys to school then YOU should deal with the fallout. All the time the teacher is wasting "trying harder" to locate your kid's bits of plastic could be better spent elsewhere.

We are told that toys are not "encouraged".

If they are taken in, it´s at "your risk".

Sorry, I´m with the school.

there was a craze at ds's school and it was a pain because they promised each other swaps and it caused rows.

I can see your point cruel, but IMO let it go, the school have got enough to do, the kids have about 50 of these things each and probably can't remember who's is who's.

Agree with diddl it's at their own risk.

Thanks so much for your messages. Thought I would come back with an update as it's been an interesting time.

So - I said to DS2, I think you have to write this one off, pal. And he said to me very emphatically : "No mum, I WILL NOT give up!" And I felt terrible because nobody wants to see their child beating their head against a brick wall ... Also he clearly felt he was in the right and had been hard done by. So he kept on asking the boy and the boy kept saying he would bring the toys back, and kept "forgetting" them. So, I thought to myself, I think I will have a word with the boy's parents, in a low-key way. However every time I picked him up from school we never saw the other wee boy (there are several exits), and DS2 said he thought the wee boy went home on his own anyway.

Then ... one day when DH was picking him up, DS2 pointed out this wee boy. DH said to him very politely "Hello [wee boy], DS2 would like his [awful plastic toys] back please."

And they were returned to him the very next day.

Seems as though his stoicism has paid off... your DH must have a reputation a la the mouse in the Gruffalo!