to think DH should have taken a very least today off work

[Buddleja]

I've just had a procedure done on my heart - now it wasn't open heart surgery but I did have a GA.

I've been told to do very little for the next five days (just out of hospital) and I can't do any heavy lifting for two weeks nor can I do anything that involves physical exertion

I've two small children - the eldest of who is 6 and is currently ill and off school

I asked my DH to take today off work - he wouldn't said I'd be OK and he'd be home at 7ish anyway

I'm feeling irked by certain things that he said he's done whilst I was in hospital - the basket of wet washing sitting in the kitchen the dirt on the floor in all the bedrooms and the general lack of food in the house

So am I being unreasonable or just sorry for myself?

He's busy at work I'd give him that (home at 7ish would be early) however it wouldn't be that difficult to take the time off (it's more him not wanting the let down work than them saying he can't)

But we did get a week notice of this procedure and knew then the aftercare would involved the above.

Part of me feels like now as the day draws to a close I'm feel tired and fed up

I would not have expected a hospital to discharge you home after such surgery without there being someone at home to care for you. Were they aware that you were going to be on your own (never mind caring for small children)?

I am also surprised the hospital discharged you without there being another adult at home.

Did they know you'd be on your own with 2 children?

Yes hospital knew I had two children at home. Though there was no asking if I had back up at home.

My MIL did take DS2 away for the day (he's 3) I should have mentioned that so I've not got the problem of a smallie wanting lifting.

I'm feeling sorry for myself right now as the painkillers are wearing off and I can't take the next one for an hour

I called DH he's on his way home now.

YANBU - that's completely unacceptable. Every procedure and certainly every time you have a GA there is an element of risk and you need to rest. At the very least could he not work from home?

YANBU. If he couldn't take the time off or work from home, he should have organised someone else to be with you and definitely shouldn't have left the house in a mess as well.

YANBU. He needs to think about his priorities.

So, if he'd been the one having had surgery, would you have left him at home alone with 2 small children, one of whom is ill?

Thought not.

YANBU. He is.

YANBU

YANBU, and what clam said.

Does his work know you have had surgery? Bet they woudl have sent him home if they did.

YANBU - need I say anymore. It has already been said.

He has been a total fuck...very angry on your behalf. Want to kick him.

YANBU at all, will he take tomorrow off ? Could your MIL stay at the house so she can look after both DCs. TBH I'm somewhat astounded at her as well leaving you in that situation when she could help, but it is your Dhs primary responsibility.

YANBU

I fear my husband would do exactly the same. I can feel myself getting angry for you.

I agree about paying for a cleaner to come in and help out. Try not to dwell on it (I know it is easier said than done) but DO take it as easy as you can and try and get as much help as you can.

Glad to read that MIL took your three year old for the day, but I cannot understand why she didn't take both of them either.

You should tell him that it doesn't seem right that he's more concerned about not letting work down, than he is about letting you down.

DS1 is very easily managed (I'm sure MIL would have had him too) I didn't ask her to take DS1 as he's very easily managed and has fussed over me all day (worrying if the toothpaste was too heavy for me to pick up and the such like)

I'll speak to him about tomorrow as the documents that he had to hand in were handed in today and I will kick him on your behalf Sn0wflake