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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to murder my colleague

27 replies

Fibilou · 09/12/2009 12:49

who is an 8 hour wall of noise - if he's not whistling, humming, making odd rhythmic drumming noises with his pen he is talking to himself.
He's really sweet and I can't say "please stop the incessant noise" because I don't want to offend him.

Do you think a jury would find me innocent if I quietly poisoned his tea

OP posts:
MeltedTreeChocolates · 09/12/2009 12:51

Umm, possibly not. Relax.... deep breathes.... In throght the nose..........and out through the mouth....in.........and out............in.....and out........

HuwEdwards · 09/12/2009 12:53

would drive me insane!

just kill him

playftseforme · 09/12/2009 12:54

Just tell him!

StealthPolarBear · 09/12/2009 12:54

MTC stop the noisy breathing!!

GetOrfMoiLand · 09/12/2009 12:56

Tell him - we have a whistler. He was mindlessly whistling that Mariah Carey xmas tune yesterday, I said every so mildly (fists clenched underneath the table) did he realise that he was doing it. He didn;t have a clue! Anyway, it stopped.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 09/12/2009 12:57

Can you get away with headphones at your desk, or a quiet radio to drown him out? or is it not that kind of job?

LadyBlaBlah · 09/12/2009 12:58

Never mind the poison. A shot gun would be more humane

squirrel42 · 09/12/2009 12:58

As an often unintentionally noisy person who works in an open-plan office, I do sometimes need to be reminded to keep it down a bit and stop fidgeting/humming, etc. If you don't want to tell this guy personally to keep quiet then I'd suggest addressing the team/group/office and just saying something like "I appreciate that people need to chat amongst themselves etc but given that we all also have to get on with work and that high levels of noise can be distracting, can everyone please make sure noise levels don't get too high". I'd certainly take this as a hint to hush up a bit but wouldn't get offended!

Original poster
Fibilou · 09/12/2009 12:58

He knows he does it - he does is to "entertain us"

OP posts:
JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 09/12/2009 13:01

Ok, yes, kill him.

cory · 09/12/2009 13:04

Don't kill him please- we rely on his salary! And we do so enjoy the hours of peace when he is at the office.

cyteen · 09/12/2009 13:05

Tell him if he really wants to entertain you, he should get his cock out. Then keep repeating it quietly throughout the day, with an intense look of seriousness on your face. He'll either do it, which could well be hilarious and will at least be quiet, or he'll ask to be moved elsewhere.

insertwittynicknameHERE · 09/12/2009 13:05

Do you work with my DH?, he does that, especially the drumming with his pen on the edge of the table, he also drums with his fingers on the end of the table lol.

MadameDuBain · 09/12/2009 13:07

you "don't want to offend him" - but you DO want him dead!

Original poster
Fibilou · 09/12/2009 13:11

Cyteen, he's about 60. That's definitely something I don't need to see

OP posts:
MeltedTreeChocolates · 09/12/2009 13:14

Sorry Stealth

He does it for entertainment? I'm gonna have to drop my usual no-murder policy and say kill him kidding....

insertwittynicknameHERE · 09/12/2009 13:17

Oh, not my DH then lol.

wizbitwaffle · 09/12/2009 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

wearthefoxhat · 09/12/2009 13:26

I think he used to work with me too
Just kill him.
Either that, or start doing it yourself and tell him to take a break, it's your turn to do the entertaining

cyteen · 09/12/2009 14:02

Maybe play through all the different ringtones on your phone several times, for 'entertainment'. No one ever gets tired of those, do they?

Hassled · 09/12/2009 14:04

Do you think he's the sort who, if in a car listening to music, would do additional drumming on the dashboard or steering wheel? Because that's my DH. It drives me INSANE.

TheGoatofChristmasPast · 09/12/2009 14:07

bark 'shut up' at regular intervals.

emsyj · 09/12/2009 14:37

I used to sit next to someone who blew his nose/whistled through his nose/made weird blowing noises through his nose and it drove me insane, so I asked the boss if I could switch desks. Problem solved - I now sit far enough away that I can't hear him.

starlight99 · 09/12/2009 15:49

he sounds like an attention seeker to me. And we all know what we do with attention seekers.

Hullygully · 09/12/2009 15:50

Why not accidentally machine gun him when walking past with one you had bought for your granddad for Christmas? It worked for me.