BIl has suggested we set up a webcam in Lounge so MIL can watch DD's open their presents xmas morning.

[merryandmad]

My BIL has suggested it would be really great to set up a web cam in our lounge, so that MIL can watch the girls open their presents on xmas morning. I am absolutley horrified by this, AIBU?
Background
Neither DP or his brother live anywhere near MIL, but MIL is not coming for Xmas as her own mother (DP's granny) would have to spend xmas day alone. She therefore spends it with DP's gran, which admittedly will be a bit dull for her.
BIL has suggested that we could set up a webcam so that MIL could watch the girls open their presents.
But the girls are really early risers anyway (5am-530am typical), on xmas they will be even more so. MIL is not an early riser at all (typical 9am).
I am not prepared to make the girls wait and MIL will not get up that early. I know that anything before 7am and she will huff and puff at the great effort involved.
Dp has always made a big fuss about having xmas at home, waking up in our own beds etc. We do actually go to my parents for lunch, but always have to go on xmas day, after presents etc, because DP wants xmas morning at home.
If BIL was so concerned he could spend Xmas with MIL. His girlfriends family are from same area, so they could visit her on xmas if they really wanted, but not do lunch IYSWIM?
MIL and I don't really get along, but I feel this would be an intrusion to 'our' family xmas.
Would you tell BIL it's a bad idea, as DP is actually considering it?

I think it sounds like a lovely idea. Your MIL is spending Christmas looking after her own elderly mother - you are spending it with a lively young family. How will it do you any harm to share a bit of your day with her?

Think I also lack a sentimentality gene as like Jasper don't look forward to being presented with video of grandkids opening presents when I'm an oldie. I've got used to the idea of my own kids opening half their presents without me when at their dads, and am quite happy to hear about it afterwards.
I'm not generally into video cameras and reliving past experiences again and again though. Happy to live in the moment and enjoy my own life and enjoy the kids when they are with me.

I'd do it, if only to stop MIL staying round ours! Unfortunately I imagine I wont be that lucky..

Rather than do the whole thing through the web cam, could you not just set up a webcam chat for before leaving for lunch maybe? Then the kids will have had plenty of chance to open and play with toys, they'll hopefully be a bit less energetic and happy to chat to their gran, you can disappear to escape get ready and your dp and bil can have a natter with their mum.

You could even just keep back your mil's presents to open at this point, it would be more presents to look forward to. And it wouldn't be for too long if you had to go to your mum's for lunch...

but yes, definitely YANBU to stop it from spoiling your day by preventing kids opening presents early or having a presence in the corner!

I live 200+ miles from only grandchild and dd was having inlaws for xmas.She phoned me late morning to ask if i would like to watch 1 year old granddaughter opening my present to her over webcamso I did we chatted for 10min wished all merry christmasNo hassle on either side and nice to be involved.Could op not have a similar compromise solution?

It's really strange that your BIL would have mentioned this to your MIL, without even running it by you first.

But, he's done it now. I was also going to suggest a video, which I see is a very popular idea. The idea of a webcam chat at lunchtime is also good. Could you make it just before lunch, so that you have a reason to finish it? If you did that, you could save just the presents from MIL, so that your DC could specifically open them on the webcam. But you don't have to stop your over-excited DCs from opening all the other presents at the crack of dawn.

Whoops, I see that dopeydoot has already suggested saving MIL's presents. Well, great minds, and all that.

I am with PincoPalino on this one. I think it is a nice idea.

We do webcam on Christmas morning, but are all late risers and GPs are on other side of world so timings not such an issue. It is nice that she wants to see them open their presents.

I think it's a lovely idea! I would do this for my in-laws if the time difference wasn't so great and there have been times our relationship has been positively horrendous.

Surely your kids don't open their under tree presents so early? Or couldn't they have pillow case and/or stocking presents to see them on until your MiL can watch?

This thread makes me so so sad.
I can so easily imagine my mother in past or future years, or my MIL this year actually, alone or in a not so ideally festive situation and far away from the Ds, DD and grandchildren that they adore. (I can even imagine myself).

If we were not all so tech useless I'd rejoice at the possibilty of making their day an inch happier. And okay I might say that because I love both my mum and my MIL but really for those who don't it seems obvious to me that a 10min webcam it is surely better than having them there all day.

What would you do if she were to stay overnight next Xmas? My MIL does. My mother stays for weeks. See maybe now 10 min do not sound that bad hey .

(This has actually made me do/learnt the skipe thing asap!).

I think with all these mil issues it's important to stop and think how you would feel if you were talking about your own mother. Concentrates the mind, I find...........

Why not come up with a compromise situation?

Either

(a) video it and send it on that day or day after

(b) webcam session later in the day, rather than at present opening time. The children will be up early. It isn't fair to make them wait for gifts. And I am sure MIl doesn't want to eb up at 5am. So, arrange a convenient time to webcam. The children can chat to grandma and tell her what they have got, etc. and wish one another Happy Chrostmas.

TBH I am not sure a webcam of children opening gifts would be that great to watch - too much move,ent, backs to camera, giddiness, etc. Wouldn't be a great watch IMO.

You know it is a special and lovely idea for your m-i-l you just give her the option.Last year my ds and his dw and my dgd were on Skype webcam with us on Christmas Day-we put computer at end of table and they joined in the chat over dinner-a bit mad sometimes but sort of lovely too.

intrusion to 'our' family xmas

you really don;t like your MIL do you

ITS THE SEASON OF GOODWILL!!!!!!

Tell BIL that you will webcam - but it will have to be at xx time, if that isnt convienient then you could always save 3 or 4 presents back until 9am so that granny could watch them open them. Its best to stagger the presents anyway.

Alternatively - you can upload video onto youtube, so she can watch it the same day. Its no good posting - it wouldnt be with her until new year with bank holidays etc.

Go on, do the right thing, earn brownie points with dh, and make 2 old ladies happy - they might not be here next year

Jesus. Never mind bridezillas. MN is turning into a nest full of Christmaszillas too.

It's supposed to be about family, goodwill to all MILs men and all that. What a lovely idea. Humour them.