to not want DS dressed in a filly tutu?

[applepudding]

DS aged 8 is a fairy in school play. I asked a couple of weeks ago what a boy fairy should wear - for example should I get him an elf costume as imv an elf is a male fairy.

The letter then came home saying 'blue top and trousers - optional tutu, fairy wings and wand'.

I have bought him the fairy wings and wand - deciding that with him blue sports top and trousers they look ironic.

However - I am concerned that dressing him in a frilly tutu will set him up for the other children to tease him. I understand that in a panto boys dress as girls and vice versa, but normally it is the bigger, well built boys that are dressed in female roles - and the two boys that are playing this role in DS school are the youngest and smallest boy in the class, and DS who is smallish and wears glasses.

The teachers have apparently said that putting these boys in the frilly tutus is funnny and will get a laugh - but I am concerned that they will be laughing at my DS, not with him - and I think this is irresponsible of the school.

Having sent in his costume with wings, they have apparently said to him that he still needs the tutu. I have written him a note to take in tomorrow - if I don't get to see the teacher - saying that I don't want him dressed as such.

Am I over-reacting here?

Thankyou - I agree that Gossipmonger's letter was simple and to the point. I have just re-written my letter along these lines!

Absolutely agree that a confident 8yo who wanted to be the jester could easily carry it off, but if your DS doesn't want to then it would be horrible to be laughed at and there is no way the teacher should be telling him he has to.

If the child himself doesn't want to wear a tutu, then he should't have to wear a tutu. If he is sensitive enought to be aware that he might get laughed at, then he is sensitive enough to be hurt by that laughter.

My 7yo DS and his best friend both attend after-school musical theatre club, and will happily dress up in most things, and would wear the wings and wave a wand, but both of them drew the line at a tutu for the performance (they are the only 2 boys that go to the club), so they found some pointy 'spock' ears for them to wear. YANBU, as people have said, most 4yo boys wouldn't bat an eye at wearing a tutu, but a few years older, and it IS just setting them up for teasing IMO.

I just knew you would get loads of replies saying "what's your problem?"

ha ha .. completely normal not to want to dress your son in a tutu

bump

An update on this then!

I sent him to school on Tues with a simple letter saying he was uncomfortable with the tuto and I trusted they would respect our wishes.

He returned from school that day saying that the teacher had found him a red tutu but had said it was entirely up to him if he wanted to wear it. And he had decided that he would.

He has now performed to both children (which he said was a bit embarrassing) and to the parents twice. It all went really well, he looked funny in a nice way, spoke his lines clearly and he hasn't had any untoward comments.

So - perhaps I was making a bit of a fuss?

It is interesting though, having mentioned this to a few people at work, that I have had very diverse responses there from what people thought appropriate or not.

YANBU to be concerned for your son for your fears. However is you son happy with the part he has to play and the costume he has to wear? If he is then you need to make sure you don't cast your concerns onto him and make him pull out of something he was confident to do. It would be interesting to know if school have ever done this before and if so how it turned out. This may put your worries of teasing to rest if it all went well. You sound a fab mum and you obviously don't want him set up for a fall. I would go back to school and discuss your concerns and see what they say.