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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have an issue with a poster at our local children's centre?

51 replies

hogshead · 07/12/2009 21:20

there's a big display at the children's centre where our health visitors do their weekly clinics and it really quite upset me. It shows a picture of a mum bf'ing with the caption "mummy" underneath and a picture of a single bottle with the same caption. I wasn't able to bf - subsequenty i felt incredibly guilty and inadequate as a mum for failing and i spent weeks agonising over whether it was something i did wrong. My initial reaction to this display was to feel guilty all over again but lately it's really started to annoyed me - this poster implies that my beautiful baby doesn't know the difference between me and a bottle which is rubbish. I know bf needs promoting and is the best for baby but is there any need to pile on the guilt on those mums who for whatever reason can't bf? DH says to let it go. I need to know - AIBU?

OP posts:
BelleDameSansMerci · 07/12/2009 21:26

YANBU. That is, quite frankly, fucking outrageous. I would ask them to take it down.

This whole breastfeeding vs formula feeding thing is getting way out of hand. For heaven's sake, don't we have enough to worry about?

lolapoppins · 07/12/2009 21:28

Jesus, what a crappy poster to have up!

Original poster
hogshead · 07/12/2009 21:35

i've really really wanted to say something to the staff there but i didn't know if i was over reacting - it's been quite a sensitive subject for me and i thought they might think that i'd lost my marbles over a poster. Mind you it's a really big display - you can't miss it

OP posts:
2shoes · 07/12/2009 21:36

yanbu

CuppaTeaJanice · 07/12/2009 21:38

I don't think you're being unreasonable. IMO breastfeeding promotion has, in some cases, reached unacceptable levels.

Breastmilk is best in most cases, however when new mothers are being made to feel upset, guilty and bullied then it's promotion isn't being handled correctly.

I was luckily enough to be able to partially breastfeed, however was constantly being made to feel that wasn't good enough, and was asked to leave a local mum & baby group when my milk supply ran out after 4 months of struggling.

Incidentally, around 80% of exclusively breastfed babies I know now have some type of food allergy or intolerance. All the mix fed babies are perfectly healthy. Maybe just coincidental but it doesn't do anything to encourage me to exclusively bf if I have another baby.

reservejudgement · 07/12/2009 21:41

Given that support for women who want to bf is virtually non-existent, that poster is going to do nothing but make a lot of women feel very, very bad through no fault of their own. Insensitive at best.

Vallhala · 07/12/2009 21:48

YANBU. I didn't b/f by choice and have 2 perfectly healthy older DC. I'd have a huge temptation to take the poster down myself and bin it if I were you, but perhaps thats not the best approach!

StarlightMcKenzie · 07/12/2009 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

chegirlwithbellson · 07/12/2009 21:52

YANBU at all and I am very pro BF.

It sounds like a horrible poster.

It can only do harm. It will make people feel guilty or defensive and I fail to see how that will encourage bfing.

If I saw it I would complain and I would have something to say if it was put in my workplace.

TheTwelveDAISYofChristmas · 07/12/2009 21:54

I would have a word with the HVs directly rather than mentioning it to the children's centre.

theyoungvisiter · 07/12/2009 21:54

it sounds a really odd poster - what's their point? That babies only love the thing that gives them milk? That you are any more of a mother for being able to bf? That mothers are nothing more than walking milk dispensers? Clearly all of those conclusions are bullshit.

I was lucky enough to be able to breastfeed with no problems and I would find that poster as you describe it odd and offensive. It's clearly very upsetting if you were unable to bf for some reason, but it's also slightly offensive if you are a bfer as it reduces mothering to basically being a giant ambulatory bottle of milk on legs.

TheFallenMadonna · 07/12/2009 21:55

Not even sure what it's trying to say. Is it some kind of comment on attachment? Don't get it.

BikeRunSki · 07/12/2009 21:56

YANBU. I was not able to breastfeed and similar posters/literature have had a similar effect on me.

nickytwotimes · 07/12/2009 21:56

Yanbu.
Horrible poster.
Bfing need SUPPORTING, not promotion with no back up, which seems to be the current situation.

narna · 07/12/2009 21:57

YANBU I tried really hard to feed my DD,got naff all support from my midwife or any other medical profession and still feel guilty now.
Crappy poster .

StarlightMcKenzie · 07/12/2009 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Portofino · 07/12/2009 21:59

I HATE all this stuff! I had a em CS and though I planned to bf, not a drop of milk ever appeared. The only person who attempted to help was my sister, who had successfully bf 3 babies. Nothing happening.

Night 2 after birth when dd had fully woken up and was obviously starving, she screamed and screamed and a nice nurse took her away and changed her and fed her a bottle and brought her back asleep.

I was so tired and sore and in pain, I just counted my blessings that we were both alive and sent dh out to buy bottles the next day. I never gave the subject another thought for years til I came on here!

I am intelligent and know that breast is best. Anyone these days could not escape that message. So why does health campaign advertising and MN opinion for that matter, have to be so damned smug and unpleasant about it?

thisisyesterday · 07/12/2009 22:02

stupid poster IMO

whatever they're trying to say, they've got it wrong

even if it is something about attachment they're way off mark.
there was research done with baby monkeys where they were shut in a room with a metal monkey who supplied milk, and another fake monkey who was covered in snuggly fur.

the babies only ever went to the food "mummy" when very hungry and spent most of their time snuggled up with the furry "mummy"

thisisyesterday · 07/12/2009 22:03

next time you're there hogshead, have a look and see who made the poster, i'd be interested to know if this is a national campaign, or just something the twits at your local place have invented themselves

Original poster
hogshead · 07/12/2009 22:05

Thank you so much - i thought it might just me be losing the plot - i have been known to go off at the deep end in the past! I'm going again this week and this time (instead of scowling and muttering under my breath as i pass it) i'm going to say something

OP posts:
120cmsOfSnow · 07/12/2009 22:06

this reminds me of a really annoying quiz they gave me whilst visiting the health visitor.

True or false... nobody knows how much milk the baby is getting.

(their answer: FALSE. the baby does. grrr)

True or false... breastfeeding makes you tired

(their answer: FALSE. you just feel tired because you have a new baby. )

ahh. glad I got that off my chest

AvrilH · 07/12/2009 22:08

Rip it down yourself, you'll feel better

agree that this promotion without any real support is the worst of both worlds - and puts unacceptable pressure on new mothers

NightShoe · 07/12/2009 22:08

YANBU. I opened the thread expecting a precious rant about something meh, but this is quite outrageous. Please complain on behalf of the other mothers who may have been upset but too scared to say anything.

Spectroscopy · 07/12/2009 22:12

YANBU! I would be annoyed by it, too, and I did BF my son for over a year! Horrid.

theyoungvisiter · 07/12/2009 22:12

It just sounds bizarre and way off mark to me on so many levels.

If I didn't know that the message was likely to be "breast is best" then I would honestly be none the wiser about what they were trying to say.

I mean, if you look at it dispassionately, it sounds like it's saying "a bottle is the same as a mother". What's that about?

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