To bin SIL's Xmas card she sent to us?

[ssd]

I know that sounds mean but she doesn't bother with us or the kids all year then she sends us a card as she like to do what is seen as the right thing.

she has no time for my kids (they are the only kids in the whole family) and generally avoids us and shows no interest

so her card went in the bin, I thought bugger her

so AIBU?

BTW I love Xmas, just not her and dh wouldn't notice it is in the bin if his life depended on it.....

Agree with Doodlez, many of my Christmas cards are to friends and relatives I rarely see and contact as we live so far apart. I find the idea of only sending cards to people you see x times a year odd.
I don't send people I see regularly a card as to me they're for catching up with people you see rarely, I can wish my colleagues and close family merry christmas in person.
If someone I rarely see sends me a card i'm glad they've thought of me. Is SIL brother's wife or husband's sister? If the former then maybe it's your brother you should be more annoyed with if you wish to see more of him/ feel neglected. If the latter then it seems a shame for your husband to throw his siter's card in the bin.
Why do the women always get the blame for stuff?

Agree with doodlez too. OP- I think you are being really childish. Why should she be so interested in your children?Some people don't like children that much and she is your SIL, not your own sister.

thats me told then!

BTW girls, no need to swear at me or call me a freak, some of you gettin a bit wound up there!

You sound about odd - is that why yous sil avoids you?

YABU. I don't understand where you are coming from.

YANBU still to early for cards

btw will you be sending one to her?

How often do you see her throughout the year?

We get christmas cards from people we never see.

The only things that I feel uneasy about when receiving a card from someone who hasn't bothered during the year, is the shame I feel at realising I forgot to send one to them

agree with Doodlez

Is she your brother's wife or your husbands sister ?

I was just about to post what madame said - how is she your SIL?

And how far away does she live? Does she have children of her own?

Other than be a bit detached and not that interested in your children, what has she actually done wrong?

ssd, sorry, i called you a fraek, on purpose. it's a kinda jokey winky not-really-insulting way of calling someone a freak on here, iykwim? comes from la cod and her mis-spellings. apologies if you didn't know that, i can see that it must have come across more harshly than i intended.

anyway, do you or do you not send this woman a card?

Well I don't think you are being unreasonable because......

Last year I started binning all cards straight away - such a relief! It isn't that I don't appreciate them. I do, I read them, look at the pic, often smile and then recycle it. Immediately.

I once rammed a lovely potted plant straight into the bin (an apology gift from SIL) as I was fuming (so was DH to be fair, who didn't want to see the damn thing either). Now, that was a bit naughty.....

I agree with OP. We have relatives like this. We never ever see them except when they 'drop off' presents for a birthday or Christmas, or send us a Christmas card, never see them the rest of the year.

You did the right thing binning SIL card. Stuff her. Selfish tw*t. I would do the same thing.

YABU. Though I admit to being enraged when BIL and SIL send a card inscribed to DH and me completely ignoring the fact that for over a decade now our family has been augmented by several DC (who wouldn't recognise them if they tripped over them in the street).
Still, I put the card up with the rest and try to appreciate the fact that it was sent at all.

YANBU. Chuck it out if it makes you think of her everytime you see it hanging up. No point letting her ruin your christmas.

I'm speaking as someone who has just accidently 'lost' her SIL's christmas card under the sofa whilst clearing up. It's not that she's a bad person per se, but she buys us those vile, oversized 'To My Wonderful Brother and His Wife' style cards and signs her name with circles on top of the 'i's instead of dots.

nanga that does sound annoying, I'd probably throw a card out for that reason aswell!

how astonishingly ungracious of you all.

I'd never throw a Christmas card out, they are like Facebook "friends" the more you have the more popular you look

I'd probably just put it with the neighbours cards, not the relatives and posh friends who send posh cards, they have pride of place, natch

I know I was being unreasonable but she pisses me of big style, don't want to bore you all with the petty detaILS.

oh well

I think YAB a bit unreasonable. Its sad she doesn't want anything to do with you but just 'cos SHE's your SIL doesn't mean she has to. As long as shes not been actively horrible to you.

I senc cards to cousins who I don't keep in touch with apart from xmas cards. We have nothing in common apart from being cousins. I actually think it makes more sense to send a card to someone you don't see in the year then a friend you see every day.

I suppose it depends on how hypocritical you think she's being. My bro and I don't exchange cards of any type as we can't stand each other - sending him one would be the height of hypocrisy.

If, otoh, it is just because she doesn't take an interest in your DC (and lots of people aren't that bothered with children, regardless of whether or not they are related to them) then I think you are being a bit precious.