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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to react when I'm told I should be getting better after having had a hysterectomy?

7 replies

PurpleLostPrincess · 07/12/2009 18:12

Don't get me wrong, mum has been very supportive, especially when I was in hospital - I had the hysterectomy and she was there when I woke up etc. They had to rush me back to theatre late that night due to internal bleeding and I had 4 units of blood, and she was there to hold my hand all the way down to theatre. She is an amazing lady but very headstrong. Other people seem to be scared of her but I tell her how it is and did in this instance too...

So, it'll be 4 weeks this week from the op. DH and the kids have been extremely brilliant at looking after me, despite having had a chest infection and swine flu, as well as having a 2 year old running around!!!

I've had good days and bad days, particularly bad problems with my bowels but won't go into that !! Mum's friend was getting rid of a hoover so she kindly picked it up for me (DH doesn't drive) and said she would drop it round. So, she comes in, DH starts hoovering straight away and she sits on the settee, talks to GC etc. She then asks how I am - I said not having a good day to be honest but I'm sure I'll improve tomorrow! She then starts telling me I should be feeling better by now. I reply with "it's been 4 weeks mum, I'm doing my best but everybody tells me I'm not allowed to do anything!!". Not to mention that its supposed to be 6-12 weeks recovery .

I just needed to get this off my chest to be honest, I know she didn't mean anything by it but it just irks me when she says things like that. She opted out of having a hysterectomy years ago, so she's not been in my position. She works extremely hard (own business) and maybe she's just jealous that I'm still in my pj's?

I don't know, but just needed to have a moan...

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 07/12/2009 18:16

Did she maybe mean getting better (which I hope you are), rather than "be fully healed"?

PurpleLostPrincess · 07/12/2009 18:19

Possibly, not sure, I suspect she meant I should be dressed and up and around rather than in my pj's. I wouldn't mind but I was stood up most of the time she was here!

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 07/12/2009 18:30

Ach, I sometimes spend whole days lazing around in my dressing gown, and I haven't just had a hysterectomy!

Let it wash over you.

PurpleLostPrincess · 07/12/2009 18:38

Thank you, yes I'm sure you're right Lady (don't like calling you old lol!) - I felt better just typing it out to be honest and needed to have somebody tell me - thank you again

OP posts:
allaboutme · 07/12/2009 18:40

I'd take it to mean 'you should be feeling better than this by now (I wonder why you are not, fret fret)' type of worrying out loud tbh, rather than 'you should be doing more!' which is what you thought.
Sounds like she is supportive generally, so I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and tell her that yes, you are feeling a lot better in general, but you've had a bad day today and are resting as much as you can to speed up your recovery.

ImSoNotTelling · 07/12/2009 18:47

Oh she's your mum. Mine would say something like this too.

Just shrug it off

Hope you feel better

Morloth · 07/12/2009 19:13

Yeah, I would have read that as "Is it OK that you are a not feeling better?" as in concern rather than thinking you should have snapped back.

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