to complain about the level of postnatal care I received

[mrsbean78]

Hi
I had my gorgeous baby son five days ago at a large consultant-led hospital. In general, I was very pleased with the care I received in labour. I was 14 days over when induced due to spontaneous rupture of membranes. The midwives were fantastic; despite monitoring etc was encouraged and able to take different positions for pushing etc. In the end, I had an instrumental delivery (rotational forceps) because baby was back to back on the final turn and couldn't descend which they spotted as my pushing was felt to be fine. So far, so good..

However, after delivery, I was violently ill and reacted badly to the spinal block which I'd had in case of ECS. I was wheeled back to the room totally out of it, and never saw my midwife again. Having delivered at 2.20, I was with dh and my new son in this room until 6.45, when I transferred to the postnatal ward and the real fun began! I was having tremendous trouble latching my baby on so I asked a midwife to help. I was told they were too busy and to ask again later, just to keep trying. I was in a lot of pain from the forceps and repeatedly asked for painkillers but was given only paracetamol although this meant I could barely sit and struggled with manouevring my baby into a position where he could latch on. Five times I reaquested help from a midwife re: breastfeeding and nothing happened. Eventually, at 3am the following morning (24 hours after delivery) I buzzed a midwife who came and 'sat' with me and absolutely mauled me, shoving my baby's head against my boob over and over and squeezing my nipple into his mouth. She continually shouted at me for 'not doing it right' because I couldn't put my whole aureola into his mouth (still can't, though he is latched beautifully now) and trying to prise his mouth open with her finger while asking me to keep the vice-like grip on my poor sore boob, saying 'I've told you not to let go, you keep letting go, we'll never get anywhere if you can't listen and your baby is starving!'. I was beside myself with crying, absolutely distraught.. at 5am I had to call her back as I was still struggling and my baby was screaming the place down. She asked 'what do you want us to do about it?" and then suggested formula. Luckily as she went to get the formula I managed to get him on.. it hurt like hell but I was determined not to give in so early, though the tears streamed down my face as I fed..

Next day, I couldn't get him on at all. He was absolutely SCREAMING, sounded as if he was in agony. I asked five different times for help with feeding and was clear I was struggling and that I had been unable to feed my baby. Fobbed off.. Finally, at about 4ish, I was sobbing so loudly and uncontrollably that the nicest Health Care Assistant in the world came and sat with me, stroked my hair, asked me what was wrong and showed me how to feed lying down. It occurred to me later that she was the first person who asked me what was wrong and what I was feeling .. and it all poured out in a hormonal mess, how I felt I was a failure and he was frustrating me and I was frustrating him.. she listened and nodded and empathized, such a simple but profound kindness. Hey presto, twenty minutes later my baby could feed!

Anyway, I was due to go home but the midwife "advised against it" as I had yet to "prove" I had established breastfeeding.. so, what, I was to stay in for "help" from the night staff?

I work in the NHS and yes, staff are busy and I appreciate that.. but it seems to me that with all the money that is spent on promoting breastfeeding and swish ad campaigns, it all amounts to nothing if there is no support in the event of problems. Also, human kindness costs nothing. The HCA who helped me spent less time with me than the night midwife who seemed hellbent on obliterating my confidence but in just ten or fifteen minutes, thankfully counterbalanced that. Baby is now feeding happily and we are content and in love with one another - but if I hadn't that help? It could have caused all sorts of problems..

I am thinking of sending the HCA a bunch of flowers to thank her! And writing to her manager to compliment her.. but should I complain about the midwife staff too?

She sounds like the midwife I had the misfortune of coming up against when I had ds. Wasn't WGH by any chance was it?

Similar story here, a succession of night staff who I didn't get the names of as they changed so rapidly and I was as it turned out suffering a uterine infection. The worst of whom grabbed my breast, grabbed my baby's head and said, presumably to my newly born pfb 'do you want it or not???'

I mean FFS!!

mrsbean your post sent chills down my spine as it reminded me a little too much of the week I spent in St Thomas's after DD was born.

Being under the 'care' of the night staff was so frightening, with a baby who wouldn't latch but needed desperately to feed as she was jaundiced. All they did was either ignore my pleas for help or shout at me. I knew me and my baby needed help as her jaundice levels were not decreasing, but I didn't get the help I needed and she ended up in SCBU.

I have complained. I wrote long letters, naming individual midwives, to the head of the postnatal ward, the CEO of St Thomas's, PALs and the health correspondent at the Guardian.

complain - i had a nightmare during labour ie they ignored me, didn't believe me and gave me paracetemol as they thought i was making a fuss and by the time they got a doctor the baby was coming and it was too late for the c section i should have been having, or any drugs whatsoever and my baby nearly didn't make it...... i refused to leave the hospital without seeing the consultant and head of midwifey who apologised, launched an investigation and wrote to me with details.

Sadly i know this hospital is still shit (contrary to what people think of it based on its location)but a lot of the problem is that people are often so relieved to leave and get home that they just put it down to experience when quite franky it is outrageous and not the care or expertise you expect. Makes me sooooo mad

I don't understand people (midwives) who continue to do the job if they don't like/want/enjoy it any longer. It is not as if you are providing an inhouse role for a corporate company. You are dealing with real people in life changing situations.

I don't believe that being overworked makes you "not the right person" for the job. We have all met midwives who are overrun with work in hospitals and in the community but are lovely, respectful and fully committed to supporting you.

WHY are some midwives who are just not the right for the job still allowed to remain so?

Congratulations on your new baby. . I would complain, very vocally. And commend the HCA who did help. I had a similar experience when I had my DD 11 yrs ago. I was a (very) young mum, I had her at 16, but knew that BF would be best for her, especially as she was 5 wks preemie. I asked a midwife for some help to show me what to do, and got told, I kid you not "16 year old's don't BF, I'll get you a bottle" . When she came back, I told her to shove her formula milk up her ase somewhere unmentionable, and that THIS 16 yr old mum WOULD be BF'ing, with or* without her help. I got BF established, via the kind help of the mum in the opposite bed who was on her 3rd child by then, and successfully BF all 3 of my DC's, no thanks to that midwife. Even then, i was so incensed, I put in an official complaint, and she got sent on a BF awareness course . I am so for you at what should have been such a special time for you.

Congratulations on your new baby. . I would complain, very vocally. And commend the HCA who did help. I had a similar experience when I had my DD 11 yrs ago. I was a (very) young mum, I had her at 16, but knew that BF would be best for her, especially as she was 5 wks preemie. I asked a midwife for some help to show me what to do, and got told, I kid you not "16 year old's don't BF, I'll get you a bottle" . When she came back, I told her to shove her formula milk up her arse somewhere unmentionable, and that THIS 16 yr old mum WOULD be BF'ing, with or without her help. I got BF established, via the kind help of the mum in the opposite bed who was on her 3rd child by then, and successfully BF all 3 of my DC's, no thanks to that midwife. Even then, i was so incensed, I put in an official complaint, and she got sent on a BF awareness course . I am so for you at what should have been such a special time for you.

oops sorry for double post, was trying to edit...

Please complain. I could have written your post 8 yrs ago except I had a CS not forceps for DS1. The hospital wouldn't allow me to leave unless I had established BF. However, they couldn't actually be arsed to help me with BF. I tried for 6 days to get DS to latch on (he never did) and had to express with a breast pump that could only be described as a medieval torture device. I was so desperate to get home that I was forced to switch to formula. The guilt was overwhelming and had a huge part to play in me developing PND.

4 yrs later the hospital couldn't have been different and I succesfully BF DS2 for over a year.

Something like this happened to me. I was a new young mum and was bossed about quite badly by the midwives etc. Birth was absolutely dreadful. Really. They took the piss. I still feel tearful thinking about it now.

After my DS wouldn't latch on. The sister on the ward was very bad tempered and complained that 'I wasn't making my (very swollen, sore, engorged breast and stiff as-a-rock nipple) the right shape and pinched my breasts really hard. Kept saying look at other sucessfuly BF mums in other beds. I cried all night, and couldn't wait to go home. In the end it only took one kind, patient nurse to help me get BF established. And ironically I became a BF pro!

Always regretted not complaining. So PLEASE make sure you do complain, because it may help them pull their socks up and help other mums!

loudlass '16 year olds don't BF??' You know based on my own experience I do think that some midwives/maternity staff discriminate against young mums. I couldn't help but notice how differently treated the older married women were. They were treated much more sympathetically. I was 22 but looked like a teenager, and they didn't really have much time for me! Proved them all wrong though

Same happened to us - terrible - you should complain if you have the time. Well done for persevering anyway he sounds like a gorgeous little baby, congratulations.

thedollshouse - I had both ds and then dd at WGH. Experience post natally after dd was dreadful, although not down to the individuals, but more the lack of staff. Have determined not to go back there for dc3. What is it about post natal care? Why do things suddenly go pear-shaped after delivery?

YANBU

Please send a letter of complaint to the head of midwifery, PALS, the chief exec and the sister of the post natal ward.

I think your idea of sending flowers to the HCA is lovely.

You must commend the HCA in the letter (or send a separate letter). They do a wonderful job.

I owe still BFing DS2 at 8.5 months to a wonderful HCA who spent hours with me in the middle of the night.

YANBU. I felt a lot better once I wrote a letter to the head of midwifery about my postnatal care (which was excellent during the day but non-existent at night with one outright rude MW who finally popped in).

Admittedly I got no answer, sent the letter again, and got an apology from an admin person that the HoM no longer worked there and her post was vacant but the new one would reply in a few weeks. Understandably the new one could only provide platitudes of the 'should not have happened' variety but did confirm some things had been changed so mothers would have more info about what to expect.

Anyone got a list of addresses of every postnatal ward in the country and fancy making an FOI request asking "How many complaints have been received about postnatal care in the last a) year and b) 5 years? What are the main topics of complaint?" Journalists?

I had a very similar experience to yours when I had dd1 (at a 'baby friendly' - ho ho hospital).

I was in a ward with dd (dh sent home) after having a spinal to repair a 3rd degree tear, at 2 in the morning, a dd1 was crying, my buzzer didn't work, a MW eventually came and was really cross I hadn't picked up dd1, despite the fact I was paralyzed from the waist down. She put her in bed with me, shoved my nipple in dd's mouth, then left, I fell asleep like this ( I hadn't slept in 3 days - long labour). To be woken up by another MW angry with me for having dd in bed with me. I struggled to feed for 3 days, with every MW there shoving dd's head onto my breast and leaving, despite the fact she would slip off minutes later, and I had blistered split nipples (a MW checked, but didn't spot a tongue tie). Two MW's gave me a huge dose of Lactulose, (ie double the dose), which meant I crapped myself whilst waiting for a visitor to come out of the patient only toilets. When I went to find a MW to ask to use the phone and call dh (my phone and buzzer still not working) I saw one of the HCA's laughing, I was absolutely distraught, it was at this point I discharged myself.

I wrote a letter of complaint, but never heard back from them, and really wanted to balank out the whole thing.I gave birth to dd2 a year later at the same hospital, and it was a lot better, the MW I had then was lovely, and remembered me from my previous stay. She asked if she could use my experience for part of a study in how NOT to treat post natal women, I hope that it made some difference.

Sorry for pouring all that out, it made me feel a lot better. I would definately complain.

Gosh Hazeyjane

I don't know why/how anyone so unfeeling would choose to work on maternity ward.

These stories are very depressing.

Some of these stories are truly horrendous. It makes my own experience pale into insignificance in comparison.

When I gave birth to my second child, I was completely ignored by all the midwives and nursing staff on the ward. Not one word did they speak to me until the 3rd day I was there, when a nurse came in to announce that we all had to take our babies for a bathing demonstration. I asked her where to go and she told me "It's next to where you prepare the bottles." I said I didn't know where that was, and she actually replied "Haven't you been feeding her?" No thought that I might actually bf...

From my point of view, being ignored was bliss, as I remembered how awful they were when I gave birth the first time!

Should have added that it was entirely worthwhile all the letterwriting I did - St Thomas's responded very promptly and have since been invited for a meeting which I'll arrange when I feel like talking about it.

Honestly I was so shocked at the treatment I (and other women) received in the postnatal ward. The negligence was horrific (and dangerous) but it was the rudeness too that was so upsetting.

The thought of having to go through it all again in 8 months is starting to really play on my mind. Don't think I'll be 'allowed' to have a homebirth as will be deemed too high risk after last time, but honestly, I'm going to discharge myself at the earliest possible moment!

OMG that actually made me cry, how horrible! And the other stories are equally as terrible. I will be having my first in a few weeks and it doesn't fill me with confidence Our local mat unit doesn't have night cover, but the mw's are on call and have said to ring and they will come out to our home during the night if we need help feeding.
I would definitely complain, or as many have said here, you may wish you had many years ago.
Good luck x

Thanks, I am resolved now to complain. Understaffing is one thing but rudeness and inaccuracy (e.g midwife telling me I couldn't feed without whole areola in baby's mouth) just aren't cricket. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

I haven't read the whole thread (its late - I must go to bed) but I am so sad at the stories on this thread - I used to be a midwife and, yes it is an extremely busy and stressful job, but that is no excuse for being rude and uncaring. Most of my colleagues were great but a few were terrible and it used to make me how they treated the women. You'd think they would remember what it felt like to be a first time mum but no, they seemed to expect everyone to have the same knowledge as them.

Definately complain but do mention the positive aspects of your care like the care in labour and the HCA. YOu could send her some flowers but I bet a card or letter to her saying how much you appreciated her care would really make her day ( probably her year!)
When you write to complain I would send a copy of the letter to the ward manager, the directorate manager and the chief exec as well as following the formal complaints procedure.

Congratulations on your baby - enjoy him!