AIBU to consider moving my DS to private school for two terms?

[lazymaisy]

I am about to start a new job teaching in a prep school near to us.

We are currently waiting for a place to come up for him at the local primary that my DD attends, we have been told he will def have a place in Sep 2010 but not till then.

We are very unhappy with his current school he attends for a number of reasons mainly that my August born DS is being left behind in reading in his Y2 class and his teacher has been unresponsive to my requests for him to read at least once a week and they have a very laid back attitude which does not seem to be helping my sons progress at all.

We are considering moving him to my new school for 2 terms from Jan 2010 to July 2010 so that he can catch up with tiny classes and better resources. Is this a crazy idea and should we just leave him where he till July in the hope that things get better?

Thanks for any advice.

Depends how robust he is imho. Is he the kind of child who is adaptable and makes new friends easily?

If not I'd be wary.

If he is then yes maybe it could be a good thing and you never know you might decide to keep him there.

Personally I wouldn't. My Aug born DS moved schools (state to prep) in Year 1 and it took at least two terms for him to settle.

I would only do it if you thought there was a chance that if he did really well at the your prep, and then you wanted to keep him there. If this isn't an option, then I wouldn't do it for just two terms.

Besides, what if he liked being at your school, and wanted to stay - then you're going to have to wrench him away again?

Sorry if I'm stating the bl**ding obvious, but if you're a teacher, can't you just do more reading etc with him at home?

perhaps the current school aren't pushing him because he simply isn't ready for it (many boys aren't until they are 7 or 8 - mine certainly wasn't).

Thanks for replying.
Yes he is pretty robust and a very laid back lttle guy so I think he would make friends ok.
The idea that I might want to keep him there has crossed my mind but I think it would be unfair on my DD who will be going through the state system.

Can you keep him at the prep for good? If so I would say do it, but if you will have to move him back it could do more harm than good in terms of unsettling him.

Exactly what the grammerpolice said.

He could end up very lonely, confused and isolated. Or not, depending on his personality.

I don't think I would move him for just two terms.

I would make a direct comparison between the prep and the better state school. I am presuming that you are going to teach at the same prep and therefore will get a fee reduction, making it a viable option longterm?

I tend to agree with cornflakemum about the reading, too. My son is a late July born (in yr 1) and because of this I made a massive effort him helping him to read in order to 'keep up' in reception. We often did as much as an hour a day (I am a teacher, too, but much older children!) and I spent a lot on resources and a lot of time training myself in phonics and spelling rules. It has definately paid off, and I would recommend this route to you rather than moving him for two terms - intensive mummmy tuition is second to none!

Why don't you move him to the prep school and keep him there?

I have tried with the mummy tuition option in the past and he is just very tired in the evenings. I think this may be the most sensible option though as we wouldn't want to keep him at the prep permenantly. The good primary feeds into an excellent secondary and my DD loves it there and we really want our Ds to go into that system too.

I think I am going to embark on a serious reading programme for him as we can't rely on his current school. His teacher told me on Friday that the reason he hasn't read this week is because I could'n't come in to listen to readers like I normally do once a week! My DD was off school ill, I was shocked that as a volunteer I am the only person listening to the children read all week!

Won't you get a huge reduction on fees for your dcs if you are a teacher at the prep school? That is what happens at ds's school.

At ds's pre-prep he reads every day to either his teacher or TA and has two reading books a night. Problems aren't left to drift and the additional support available is excellent.

LM, what a pain! the idea that your ds (and all the other children) don't get read to because volunteers are unavailable is just unacceptable.

My ds got guided reading every day in his (state) school. You need to either commit to bullying the school about their reading policies, and/or undertake supplementing his education at home, or commit to sending him to private school for more that two terms.

Bullying school can be a long term project, if they are not on that track already, your ds may well suffer, but on the other hand, only two terms in private might not be good for your ds.for all the reasons stated. Supplementing might well be the way to go.

I should really try to post all my thoughts at once .

I think it would be utter madness to move him for two terms no matter how robust, sociable he is. What will you do if you do move him and he does very well at the prep?

We moved our ds from a state school yr 1, last half term of the school year, into a private school - not because he was falling behind (although he was - summer born and hearing impaired, was barely reading and hadn't reached any targets), but because we moved out of the city. Within 5 weeks he was reading fluently and had completely caught up. We kept him there another year - until places came up at our local state school and moved him back into the state sector. He has made friends at each of his schools and socially it has done him no harm. He is now in the top groups for literacy and numeracy which was a nice surprise for us. If anything, it would have been nice to keep him (and his sister) at the private school but financially it wasn't going to be possible long-term.
So in short, after our experience, I would say give it a go!

I think it's a mistake to keep a child somewhere they are not flourishing. If your DS is a confident little chap he should be fine doing a couple of terms at prep school before leaving to go to the new primary school. My own DS did two terms in primary school reception (he moved there from a completely separate nursery) before moving to a prep school, and was absolutely fine. In the space of 12 months he had to make two new sets of friends but coped really well. I think the personality of the child is the crucial thing. Some children are just chilled and self-confident and will make friends anywhere. If you think your DS can cope, I'd go for it. Also, leaving in July 2010 means there is a natural break anyway from the "old" prep school, so it is a less abrupt change then finishing at a school one week and starting a completely new one the next week iyswim.

I think that moving from one school to another is fine. It is the one school to another to another that I think will be so difficult. The poor chap will have to make three separate sets of friends in one year.

From having had experience in both private schooling and public (was educated privately from nursery up until A-Level and then did A-Levels at the local college) I think that private education is likely to significantly aid him with his development. Class sizes are smaller, there is more one-on-one tuition available and the teachers tend to listen to fee-paying parents - I suppose they need to be seen to be 'earning' the £££ parents pay to the school each term, the expectations are higher.

However, the socio-economic aspects of private and public schooling are quite polar. When I attended prep school around your son's age, my parents had divorced and my mum and I went to live on an estate and I started to mix with a lot of children from 'normal' schools. The disparity between my life at school and outside of school confused me and I was unsure of my identity, which sector of society I belonged to - the kids who went skiing every Christmas and had expensive birthday parties and daddy piicked them up after school in the BM, or the kids whose parents gave them small portions of food to ensure everybody got some dinner. I'm not sure how relevant this is because your son is so young he may not be aware of this type of thing but he may feel quite displaced going from one environment to a completely different one in a relatively short period of time - it may be a slightly difficult adjustment to make.

Is it a boys only prep ?
Have you looked into the staff discount ?
Teacher pay about 1/4 of the fee's at some schools, I'd move both children to the school you'd be working at for the sake of an easier life for you if nothing else.

What is the teachers' fee remission?
Have you talked to the Head and/or Bursar about making you a deal?

As an infant teacher (as well as a mum) then if it was my child then I'd definitely move him - and let him know it'll only be for 2 terms (if the prep school is happy with you doing this - you wouldn't want to upset your new employers).

I taught in a (deprived) state infant school and found that if children weren't ably reading by the middle of Yr 1 then they were left behind because from then on so much of the curriculum is reading/writing-based.

Socially if he is confident he will cope with school changes - esp as 1 is after the long summer hols, but academically how will he cope going to the better primary if he is still doing poorly in his reading? Surely in the long run it'd be much better for him (socially as well as academically) to start at the new primary as a fluent reader who can hold his own with his peers! Children are very aware when they are 'failing' academically and behaviour/social problems often result.

If you decide not to swap schools, then I'd plan to do short after school reading sessions, longer weekend sessions and then plan to spend the whole of the summer hols doing really intensive tuition so he could get up to speed that way! If the school won't help your DS then you really must!

Sorry for long post, but hope its useful!

lazymaisy I assume you are hearing him read daily after school? Reading to him and playing phonic games etc???? I am just wondering if there is a bit more to this??

BTW I teach Year 3 in a state school and we hear them read twice a week. I hear them once and TA the second time.

My eldest at state school lost her reading book at school in April and they never heard her read again that year
This was an ofsted outstanding establishment.

To be honest I'm always a bit when I read these threads along the lines of 'the school never hears my child read'. Reading is the thing that as a parent you can most easily do at home, and it will reap HUGE rewards for your child.

I used to go in to the DS's school to listen to readers, and help with the book corner/library, and it was very clear that the confident readers were the ones who
a) had lots of books at home from an early age
b) read with parents/carers and listened to stories at home several times a week (mostly every night in reality)
c) went to the library with their parents

In other words, they had been socialised into a world where reading was a normal part of everyday life.

I'm sorry to be blunt, but it's not hard to see why:

Child heard reading at school once a week (10 minutes) for 38 weeks a year = 6.3 hours of reading a year

Child heard reading at home 10 mins every day for 52 weeks a year = 60 hours of reading a year.

It sounds to me as if this is more than just about the reading though - and that you're generally not very happy with the school.

I still think it's a difficult call, and I wouldn't do it personally, especially if there was no chance of him staying at the prep, if he liked it, and was doing well.

Incidently, I don't think children ALWAYS have to have the same sort of schooling (e.g. private/state) I think it's more important to match the school to the child and evaluate how happy they are etc.

its a hard call, part of me says no dont' move him for just two terms.
But then I couldn't bear the thought of DS being unhappy for two whole terms, so I guess thats your answer. Is he actually unhappy or is it that you are unhappy and about the reading?

If he is happy then leave him where he is until he can move to the good state school. (and see what you can do to help him stay up to speed on schoolwork)
If he is unhappy then you might want to think about moving him.