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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bit of a petty one but its really annoying me

23 replies

GreatForest · 04/12/2009 11:16

In our living room, the only radiator is along the back wall. Unfortunately there is nowhere for our 3 piece suite to go apart from the back wall also.

So in a nutshell, the sofa covers the radiator.

Now, DP started to complain that the central heating was being lost in the living room as the sofa blocked the radiator. He then suggested pulling the sofa forward a little. I agreed.

So the sofa ended up about 2 inches away from the radiator.

DP then decided this wasn't enough and pulled it forward further. It now looks ridiculous as it's so far away from the wall you could litrally walk between them. I pushed it back.

DP went in a mood and told me off for moving it back. I told him I didn't like it pulled so far out as it looked stupid. He said it's "tough" basically and pulled it out again.

I pushed it back.

He then stuck a bloody coffee table between the wall and the sofa (yes, this is how far out it is, an effing table can slot between them). When he went to work, I pulled the table out and pushed the sofa back.

He got in from work last night, whinged under his breath and pulled it back out, replacing the table.

He's such a fucking control freak, its really annoying me. I understand it blocks the heating a bit but that doesn't mean we need to have the sofa pulled right out looking ridiculous?!? I feel like litrally pulling the sofa out into the middle of the room and seeing his reaction.

How unreasonable am I being then? does anyone understand my point or is he right?

OP posts:

BoysAreLikeDogs · 04/12/2009 11:18

This a symptom of a deeper rift doncha think?

nickelbabe · 04/12/2009 11:18

is there really nowhere else the sof can go?
not even along a side wall?
i can't see it makes that much difference, though, as the heat should go upwards towards the ceiling....

what about swapping the chairs and sofa around?

(can't give you any advice on how to handle the DH, though, sorry )

Stayingsunnygirl · 04/12/2009 11:19

I would have thought that, as long as it's pulled out a bit from the radiator, it shouldn't make that much difference how far it is pulled out, so a couple of inches should be OK - and a totally random coffee table down the back of the sofa?? Very odd, I agree.

WelliesAndPyjamas · 04/12/2009 11:22

um, maybe you are both being a tad childish about this? agree a middle ground? look up what the optimum distance is for furniture in front of radiators? (actually, I'm sure the majority of heat is sent upwards anyway as radiators, despite the name, do not radiate.) or sell the sofa and replace with armchairs - then sit in them facing each other and act like grownups??

fernie3 · 04/12/2009 11:22

um..I dont know which one of ou is being unreasonable both of you seem to be taking it a bit far!. If it was me I would probably let him pull it out as I would rather be warm than have an organized living room BUT the way he handled it was unreasonable (putting a table there? thats odd)

mummygirl · 04/12/2009 11:26

Tell him that a wooden table against the radiator absorbs all the heat. If he touches it he'll realise it's warm and he'll probably believe you, based on the fact that he believes it makes a difference how far away the sofa is from the radiator!!!!

WelliesAndPyjamas · 04/12/2009 11:27

mummygirl

Stripycat23 · 04/12/2009 11:33

That's MY kind of DH fight!!

Y both ABU and childish. I have no idea how to rectify the situation. However, seeing as I find myself in this type of situation now and again (which shows I can also be childish and unreasonable ) I say stick to your guns, keep moving the furniture away and the sofa back. It's a p*ssing contest. Let's see who's the most stubborn!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 04/12/2009 11:36

Compromise by having the sofa at an angle? IYSWIM. Diagonally with the end of the sofa against the radiator and the other end sticking out into the room.

Wolliw · 04/12/2009 11:39

You are both being unreasonable.
DH and I like different lighting arrangements in our livingroom. Sometimes we have it one way and sometimes the other, but neither of us have ever had a paddy about it.

Is there some underlying issue that you are really fighting about?

skihorse · 04/12/2009 11:47

You are teenagers right?

Hullygully · 04/12/2009 11:49

Move.

AMumInScotland · 04/12/2009 11:52

Instead of wasting your energies moving the sofa back and forward, why don't you try discussing the issue? I agree the sofa shouldn't be wedged against the radiator, but unless you have a huge room then having a table between the two sounds an odd arrangement. So, a few inches would seem a sensible arrangement. Unless "sensible" isn't what you're looking for of course.

fanjolinaballerina · 04/12/2009 11:55

That is exactly how my DH and I would behave. We are a couple of petty, stubborn children. Pathetic, but I wouldn't let it go either!

alwayslookingforanswers · 04/12/2009 11:57

we have the same set up (aboslutely no where else for the sofa to go) - and I find that about 5/6 inches is best. DS3 can walk along behind it so it's a reasoanble sized gap/

ScaredOfCows · 04/12/2009 11:57

There's no other option - you'll have to move house

ScreaminEagle · 04/12/2009 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

worldgonemad72 · 04/12/2009 20:01

Heat rises so you only need to pull it out by a couple of inches.

KurriKurri · 04/12/2009 20:05

Sympathise with your sofa dilemma, but just swap the names round and your DP could have written the exact same post

MrsMattie · 04/12/2009 20:06

Our sofa is against walls with a radiator. We have it pulled out a few inches. It's fine.

GoldenSnitch · 04/12/2009 20:09

Cover the back of the sofa in foil. Shiney side out. It'll deflect the heat away from the sofa so it can rise up and into the room.

Then put the sofa halfway between where you want it and where he wants it.

Compromise.

tethersend · 04/12/2009 21:25

Leave the sofa where he wants it.

Then wait until he's out, pull all the rest of the furniture out a coffee-table's width from the wall, make a cup of tea and sit down like nothing's different. This should illustrate your point well.

If that fails, the next step is to glue everything to the ceiling.

tinykins · 04/12/2009 21:55

Oh my GOD my dh and I had exactly the same issue as this and he would pull it out to a ridiculous amount from the wall and I would surreptitiously shove it back when he was gone out of the room. Pathetic maybe but I couldnt reason with him. So thats the way its left. He moves it out. Later when I am in the room I move it back. I am sure you could read all sorts of dysfunction into this set up and you'd prob be right!

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