To change my name by depol

[starstripe]

I have a partner we have 2 children,My Ds has started school it wont be long before he clicks or someone else does that me and his dad dont share the same surname ,I want to have the same surname as my partner and children should I cahnge by depol or should we wait to do it legally by marriage.

Also I want to have a middle name Im worried I may offend parents, however it would mean alot to me to have the same middle name and my daughters first name am ibu do you think this is wrong.and aibu.

So you want to use your daughter's name as your middle name?

If so, go for it!

As to getting married or changing your name by deedpoll...only you can decide that!!!

If marriage is a long way off then change it now. You could have been called Smith and met a man with the surname Smith! So it won't matter when you get married, one less thing to do ie notifying every institution!

You don't have to tell your parents anything if you feel it would upset them. A deed poll document is incredibly boring so no-one will ask to see it surely.

My first name was changed by deed poll but I had the support of all my family, I regret not putting a middle name on it though.

well, my almost 5 year old knows that me and his dad have different names and he doesn't care at all! so i don't think that's necessarily a reason to do it.

only you know whether you should do it by deed poll or get married. why would you need to wait to get married?

Well, I am married and don't have the same surname as my dh and children (who have my surname as a middle name but use dh's surname) and it has never been a problem for me. Occasionally, at school, say, I say 'This is XX's mum', and they say 'Ah yes, Mrs DHname', and I say, 'Actually I'm called Myname, not DHname', or else I just ignore it. But it's not a problem. Why are you worried about people 'finding out' that you don't have the same name? It's really not that big a deal.

As for the middle name, just start using it. Unless you need it for legal reasons (e.g. to change your passport to the new name or something) you don't need a deed poll certificate - you can call yourself anything you like. You just tell people that, as of now, your name is Starstripe Ermintrude (or whatever...).

I did change my name by deed poll, btw, to go back to my maiden name after I divorced DH1, and only later did I realise that I never actually needed to do it, as I always had the right to use my maiden name anyway. Oh well!

Are you planning to get married? If yes, you might as well wait. You have to pay to change your name by deedpoll. It doesn't actually matter though that you have a different surname to him, lots of parents do! (me included). The middle name thing is a nice idea - and if you do that you could do the surname at the same time.

Weeeell, I changed my surname 8 years ago by deed poll and then couldn't be bothered to take dh's name when we married so have a different name to the dc. Don't think it matters really. Though my surname is one of their middle names.

However, if you want to do it, it is really easy. I used an online service to make it legal. Cost about £30 if I remember correctly. You have to make sure you never lose your deed poll documents of course, but scarily simple and cheap (and I have never regretted it).

I am in the same boat and I am going to change it by deedpole. I am fed up with correcting people and DD is only 11 weeks, when she goes to school it will be a nightmare. I say go for it if it makes it more comfortable for you

Depends when you're getting married - if it's soon then wait! If not then don't.

Lots of people have different surnames to their DC but if you want the same then of course you should change.

Also sounds lovely to take your DDs name as your middle name. My DD1 has my first name as her middle name, it's kind of a family tradition

I don't understand the issue about having different names.

My parents divorced before I started school and mum went back to her maiden name. Therefore throughout my life I have had a different name to her.

Also DSs name was different to mine. I got his name changed by Deedpoll to be a double barrelled name, but that is just because I am now a lone parent. If I was still with DSs dad I wouldn't worry.

It is quite 'normal' for families to have different names nowadays for many different reasons.

I changed mine via deedpoll as I couldnt wait for my divorce It cost me a tenner online, and its the best tenner I ever spent! I used it to change all my details, then filed it away and got on with life.

You don't have to tell your parents if you change your name and add a middle name. All that happens is you fill out a form online, pay your money, and in a couple of days your deed poll documents come out to you by post, you sign them and get a friend to witness it, then you give the docs to your bank etc to change your name on their databases. There's no reason your parents should find out you have a middle name unless you tell them. And anyway I think it's nice, to take your dd's name.

I did this, changed my surname to dp's because marriage looked a long way off (well, he's never asked)

Thank you everyone, I'm definitely having my daughters first name as my middle name, for me thats special.
I want to change surname by deed poll because I would like to share surname more so for me, marriage is a few years away mainly because we want a bigger house and thats more important to us as a family first.
When we get married we will go away with our children I don't want a fuss, and we would have to change it then so thought lets do it now.
Thank you for all your input,thank you for your time.xx

Good luck with it all starstripe

My partner, children and I all have different names. Nevery been a problem.

Bit harsh on nevery

quote I cahnge by depol or should we wait to do it legally by marriage.

There's no legal requirement to change your name when you marry, it's tradition not law. Also a deed poll is not the only way to change your name, you can do a statutory declaration as I did, put an advert in the press saying that from such and such a date you are to be known by your new name or even just verbally inform everyone of your name change and the date. Many institutions like to have a written record although it's not actually law and you're not breaking the law if you don't have one

My husband, myself and our kids all have different surnames, mainly due to the Arab naming system. Never been a problem although sometimes have to explain to people.
Like pinkyredrose said its tradition not law to change your name when you marry, in a lot of countries and cultures its not the done thing.

I always wanted to have the same sirname as my DCs. I am married but if we ever did split up, I'm not sure that I would go back to my maiden name as I prefer to share a name with my DCs. My dad changed his sirname and gave himself a middle name which was after one of his sons. I thought that was a lovely idea. So go for it!!!!

I got divorced but kept my married name, didnt revert to my maiden name.

I have now remarried and taken my new husband's surname but my children, obviously, have their father's (my previous married) surname.

When my son changed school's over the summer there was no issue with us having different surnames, it just went on the record and that was it.

As for having your daughter's name as your middle name, you don't need to have a deed poll name change to start using it.

Just use it.

I guess if you are going to be doing something official like getting a bank account etc you will need to do it officially but if you just want to use it you can.

I changed my first name by Deed Poll before I got married, because I had been using a different name for years and I didn't want to get married using my given name.

I then didn't change my surname upon getting married and me and DH each have the surnames we were born with.
We have two children, one of whom has my surname and one of whom has DH surname, and yes they are full brothers.

I just don't think having names lining up is such a social issue any more. If you want to change your name, then do it, but not because of what other people might think.

I think you're worrying unnecessarily about the surname TBH. It's not taboo as it once was.

I think adding your DDs name as a middle name is a bit odd though - I'd choose a different name.