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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse to change the christmas present Ive bought..

17 replies

memorylapse · 03/12/2009 19:41

...my dd aged 5?
Im currently 18 weeks preg and pretty poorly, still feel sick, have a host of other probs inc diabetes and work every weekend..to ease the load of shopping for the dc's christmas presents..I did a lot of it online...
my aunt asked the dcs what they wanted for christmas and dd said baby anabel stuff...

I then get a phone call from dm today to say that my aunt has bought dd her present..a kids digital camera..the exact same thing that we have bought dd as her main present from toys r us online..but which hasnt been delivered..
bearing in mind that my aunt who lives alone and has no children, lives just 5 mins from the shop she bought it from..I very kindly ask her if she could exchange it for something else...she refuses..and puts the phone down on me..
I phoned her back today and her exact words to me are Ive chosen the presents, Im not returning it, you can return yours"..I explain that I would have to wait for it to be delivered, then drive 10 miles to the nearest post office to return it, wait for it to be received before ordering an alternative which is cutting it fine for christmas....a row has ensued, during which she has said she would rather chuck it in the bin than return it..
we are in stalemate now..but I dont think its me being unreasonable..or am I??

OP posts:
Tolalola · 03/12/2009 19:47

YANBU, especially since DCs told you aunt what they wanted and she got them something different. Probs not worth a massive family row about it though, even though your aunt is being a complete pain.

V. easy fix though, I'd have thought - wait until after Christmas and then swap a camera for something your DD wants from Toys R Us. I bet you can return in store using your online reciept, no?

purpleturtle · 03/12/2009 19:50

And obviously, make sure your dd opens the one from you first.

maxpower · 03/12/2009 19:51

YANBU - most reasonable people would understand it's easier for her to return hers. However, is she being so reluctant because she's scared to return it??? My DH is the kind of person who'd throw something away rather than have to actually ask for an exchange/refund.

WobblyPig · 03/12/2009 19:51

Could you ask her to return hers but give her yours when it arrives to give to DD .You could then but something else.

I do think she is being mad but when people are being this bonkers it can be hard to budge them. You would have the moral highground and DD would have her camera.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 03/12/2009 19:55

No worries, keep hers back and exchange hers after xmas. Change it for something else she would like. Get her to write a generic thank you card to aunt not mentioning the camera. She won't realise there isn't actually a gift from aunt.

Aunt is being a bit weird.

Original poster
memorylapse · 03/12/2009 20:48

shes not scared to return it...shes just being bloody minded..as far as she is concerned she doesnt want to give dd anything else..
Toys r us told us that we would have to post the item back and couldnt return instore

OP posts:
Brunettelady · 03/12/2009 20:52

I wouldn't try and compromise with someone like this. YANBU, she is. Stick to your guns. If she doesn't like it, tough! If she would rather waste her money than thats her problem.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 03/12/2009 20:52

Does she know everything that's going on with the pregnancy and the house move etc, ML?

If so, accept the camera, take a picture of your bum with it and post it back to her.

Brunettelady · 03/12/2009 20:58

JamesAndThe... PMSL!!!!!! Great idea.

Original poster
memorylapse · 03/12/2009 21:17

James..Im crying with laughter!

yes she knows..and said its my own fault for having kids

OP posts:
Fizzylemonade · 03/12/2009 21:21

Your daughter will surely open your gift first, then if your aunt gives her another one she will no doubt say "I already have one of these"

Then say in a nice loud voice, well we can change this for something else can't we?

DO NOT take yours back, you are the mother! She has no right to tell you to change your gift to your daughter.

neenz · 03/12/2009 21:25

omg! YANBU. How very strange.

Personally, I would just give your DD the camera you bought, and when aunt gives her the same gift, say 'oh she already has one of those' and see if aunt offers up the receipt at least.

If not then you can send your gift back to ToysRUs after Christmas and get something else.

Or just let her have two cameras.

Could your DH take it to the post office after Christmas?

busybutterfly · 03/12/2009 21:25

Oh it's a right pain when people ask what to get and then get something completely different.

YANBU in the least.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 03/12/2009 21:27

no worries, just get the receipt from her and swap it for something else. Get your DD to pick, January is boring and crap, this might be like a treat for her

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 03/12/2009 21:28

Some people are mental - that's utterly selfish behaviour from her in light of everything you've got going on.

I agree with whoever said it's not worth starting a big family thing over, but grrr, bet you want to tell her to stick it up her arse! And yes, as fizzy said, just make sure your dd gets your camera first, then she can say "oh, another camera"

(Go on take the bum pic do it do it do it you know you want tooo)

Original poster
memorylapse · 03/12/2009 21:38

think Im going to go with letting her have ours first..then aunts afterwards..then we will just exchange aunts for something else..my aunt wont be there on christmas day anyway..thank god

OP posts:
Original poster
memorylapse · 03/12/2009 21:39

and James..yes Id love to take a pic of my bum with it..I doubt Id fit all of my bum in the picture though

OP posts:
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