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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To dislike Facebook and feel its

42 replies

starstripe · 03/12/2009 17:37

a invasion of my privacy when you hear that your children are posted on it,I had to ask friends to remove pictures of my private life and pictures of my children from it, if I want everyone to know what im up to I will go on it but I dont, therefore dont post my children on it thank you.
Sorry but I have heard nothing good come from this and I wander how others feel.

OP posts:

scrummymum · 03/12/2009 20:31

Yes, Mrsguy that is awful but he could have sent a letter if facebook was not available.

I think it is a great way to keep in touch with people who live a long way away.

What is that actual problem with people seeing pics of your children anyway. Surely people/strangers see your children in the street in RL.

BustleInYourHedgerow · 03/12/2009 20:38

Bebo is soooo over.

(Am reliably informed by 15yr old DB.)

zebramummy · 03/12/2009 20:50

joined, enjoyed it, found it pointless and irritating then left. the way to leave properly is not to simply deactivate your account (it means nothing as you would only have to log in once to reactivate).
say your goodbyes, erase your friend list

don't to tell yourself you shall never log in again (because you will!). next, change your password with your eyes shut (as long as you can type the same random thing twice or do a blinded cut and paste without peeping!).

then you tick the option to ask them not to send you email notification of anybody trying to contact you (too tempting!) and i promise you you wont look back. and deactivate...

zebramummy · 03/12/2009 20:51

sorry IT procedures were never my forte as you can see!!!

JackTheHallsWithBauersOfHolly · 03/12/2009 21:12

I love FB as we live miles from all our family and they don't get to see DD's very much.
I upload pics and video so my mum, siblings, and IL's can see it without filling up their inboxes.
I can plot things for my mums christmas present/other siblings presents with my brother and sisters.
I can keep in touch with all my friends all over the country/europe withoutwriting big emails (which just seems harder) and see their kids without having to drive for hours.
PLUS I can snoop and snigger at the awful skank my BIL is dating.

Although I do have privacy settings up high and am quite selective on who I have as a friend (apart from the skank)

HerBeatitude · 03/12/2009 21:21

here's a facebook madniss article

Horsiemummy · 03/12/2009 21:32

i agree with sassybeast, i LOVE facebook and often post pics of my DS so that distant friends and family can keep up with his development.

But... i would NEVER post pictures of someone elses dc online without their permission. the reasons are irelavent tbh, there is so much danger still associated witht he internet and if people are uncomfortable with pictures of their children bring "out there" then it should be respected.

tiredfeet · 03/12/2009 23:11

its a tough one, and I am amazed by the amount of detail some people are prepared to put out there, but on the other hand its amazing for staying in touch with friends and family all over the world, and sharing pictures / news with them. I don't see that putting up pictures of children on there is particularly different from letting children be seen in public, and indeed if privacy settings are used well etc then it can be a very private medium. That said, I understand people can be very sensitive about this, and I certainly wouldn't put pictures up of someone elses children (such as my neice or nephew), it just feels like its not my place to decide to do this.

Happyneverafter · 03/12/2009 23:21

Exactly as some of you have said, this is in the grand scheme of things a new phenomenon so many people are more guarded of their privacy and to them facebook does not feel secure enough. Therefore as tiredfeet says its not her place to decide to post pics of other peoples' kids. And just because many of you have high privacy settings does not mean others do. Privacy is subjective and what feels free and easy for one person to say/do is anathema to someone else.

dejavuaswell · 04/12/2009 11:03

I find it handy to keep in touch with the younger members of my family. I would miss it so I hope it carries on for ever and ever amen.

FimbleHobbs · 04/12/2009 11:08

I use it occasionally to keep in touch with cousins. I have about 2 photos of the children on there. I feel uneasy about putting lots up.

CarmenSanDiego · 04/12/2009 11:18

Facebook has good and bad points. I have a lot of friends and family split between the UK and the US so it lets me stay in touch with all of them and share pictures and news easily. I also enjoy seeing what some of my more interesting friends have to say on day-to-day issues.

But there are some idiots and some drama on there which on the whole you can filter out fairly easily.

I want to agree with you that your private life is private, but the nature of digital photos is that you really can't control them. So YAB a bit U, really.

I don't really see what harm those pictures are going to do, but friends should respect your requests to remove them or crop your kids out of them, just out of politeness and friendship if you feel that strongly about it.

ellokitty · 05/12/2009 09:20

I think YABU and YANBU.

It all depends on whether the person who puts the photo up has privacy settings or not.

If they have few privacy settings - so they let all and sundry see (friends of friends for example), then I don't you are being unreasonable to object - after all, they wouldn't go up and hand over photos to people they don't know directly!

But on the other hand, if they have the settings set so that only their friends can see - then I think you are being unreasonable. Would you also have a problem with them also printing those photos off and showing them to those exact same people? If so, you should ensure that your child is not in the photo in the first place! If however, you do not have an objection to the parents having these photos and showing them off to people - then your objection is illogical and irrational because they are actually doing nothing different... just doing the exact same action of showing the photos to the same people virtually rather than physically.

happyharry · 05/12/2009 09:40

I have been told that if you untag yourself/dc from a photo it cannot be retagged again.

Longtinsellyjosie · 06/12/2009 16:26

Are we talking here about pictures specifically of your children, or wider shots where they just happen to be in the background?

PoppyIsApain · 06/12/2009 16:44

I am on Facebook, but tbh it pisses me off, my status is about something important to me and getting no comments is really starting to hurt. Im currently feeling pissed off at my sister more as she has wrote 2 status's completely ignoring mine.

Pikelit · 06/12/2009 17:25

I like Facebook. Used sensibly it is an incredibly good way of keeping in touch - not necessarily with far flung friends and relatives - and you choose how much of yourself you want to share. It's not compulsory to bare your soul on there either and I'm often amazed at the personal detail people post. But such is the case all over the internet.

On Facebook, I avoid, like the plague, all those ghastly quizzes and opportunities to "throw" things at people and ignore quite a few of the links sent to me by people who haven't worked out what the "skip" button is for. But for all that, I've got all sorts of work commissioned through FB, rediscovered a couple of good friends from way back, and regularly arrange stuff connected to the specific activities that I'm involved in. It's what you make of it.

PS. I thought people were "over" Bebo once they'd had their 12th birthday.

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