To feel surpluss(sp) to requirements!

[ijustwanttoaskaquestion]

I am a SAHM to a lovely four year old DD. She is such a daddy's girl, which, while it is really lovely that they have such a great relationship its really difficult.

For example, since i have picked her up from school she has spent most of her time asking for daddy, to the point where she has been sitting on the sofa calling "dad, daddy dad" pretty much the whole time.

When he is around at the weekend, it is like i am ten steps behind them both, i just cant seem to join in. I feel left out, from both of their lives.

I have to say that i think part of it is my own fault as i have suffered from depression and can be snappy but i try not to do this in front of DD. Also, i am much better now so why now is she favouring daddy so much.

Of course, i am the one who says no all the time, daddy spoils her and she would live on sweets and chocolate if he had her all the time, not to mention the dreaded fruit shoot! I am the one who has to brush her hair which she hates, im the one who TRIES to do the discipline (big issue in our house as DP is a big softie).

I love my DD so much, it breaks my heart when she cries because i have to put her to bed sometimes when DP is late home.

Also, i can't seem to spell surplus for some reason

You are the one that she sees all the time and so she takes you for granted-Daddy is the exciting one-don't worry she loves you just as much.

I meet so many families where the Dad isn't involved with the kids at all - either doesn't 'do' playing, or wants to wait till they're old enough to communicate properly, or are working all the time. I think your dd is very lucky to have such a great relationship with your dh, and you're lucky to have him too.
Don't be jealous of their relationship, instead think of fun 'mummy and dd' things you can do together. 'Just the girls' kind of things, maybe making necklaces or cupcakes or fairy gardens.... and let your dh know that this is your special time, so he doesn't come parading in take all the attention away.

I think one of the problem is I have lost the ability to "play", she is very much into role play just now and i find it excruciating, so believe me, im very happy for DP to take over in those regards. But we used to do so many fun things together. We played with the lego this afternoon but she spent the whole time telling me that i coudlnt touch this and that because its for daddy. ARgggggghhhh.

Mind you, i dont envy him bedtimes - i get some me time

I am not needed on the weekends, so you know what? I check out. Head out the door, go out for coffee, read a book, have a break.

It will pass, DS went through a stage of crying for Daddy when I was making him do something horrible and unfair, like have a bath or brush his teeth.

Agree with TootaLaFruit, try to come up with stuff that only the two of you do on weekdays, maybe make weekdays when you do bedtimes regardless of whether Daddy is around or not.

I do know how you feel so I don't think you are being unreasonable, but the other day I went out (leaving dd's 1 and 2 with their dad) and dd1, the consummate daddy's girl, said 'but Mummy, who is going to look after us!' (bless her little heart) and then, when I came back, was so utterly delighted to see me that it made up for a squillion 'I want Daddy's'!

Of course it is not totally fair that your dp gets to do all the good stuff and imho if he keeps spoiling your dd of course she is going to make a beeline for him...but don't forget that usually, dads have to squeeze a whole week of love into one weekend, whereas you get to spread it out a bit

Why don't you go out together and choose something girly that you can do like a doll's house or something - that daddy is no way going to want to play with? And that can be 'your' thing?