To think having a lodger wouldn't be all that bad?

[YanknCock]

DH is totally against the idea. I think it would be a good way to bring in some extra cash, and it wouldn't be forever.

We have a newly decorated spare furnished double bedroom. I was thinking we could post notices at DH's business park (5 minutes drive) and try to get someone as a Mon-Fri lodger short term. Someone who just needs a place to stay for a few weeks/months while on a contract, but wants to go home for the weekends, and would like to stay more cheaply than a hotel with the option of cooking own meals.

Am I being completely unrealistic? DH says the whole thing fills him with dread. He's lived in a lot of shared housing and is convinced we'd get some crazy psycho who wouldn't pay and would refuse to leave or would steal stuff (not that we have a lot!). He also thinks we could never completely relax in our own home (which is why I thought of the week-only lodger, saw it on a news program the other day). At least we'd have weekends to ourselves.

I'm so sick of never getting anywhere financially, just a bit of extra income would really help. AIBU to think it could work?

I had 3 lodgers a long time ago and the first one was a gorgeous New Zealander who used to come out of the bathroom wearing only a towel!! But I was young(ish), free and single then. Our house isn't big enough now for a lodger but if I had more space and needed the money, I would consider it. The lodgers I had cooked their own meals and did their own washing. But one was only 16 and was a bit useless at cleaning up after himself. I wouldn't want to be cooking for a lodger.

Kind of liking the idea of a language student--not having to worry about payment, and a set amount of time, so if we hated it we'd know at least it would be over soon. Will have a look round and see if there is anything like that up here.

But agree DH has to be on board. Will let him read the thread and see if it answers some of the concerns he had.

Before I even read the thread I was going to come on and suggest language student. If I had the room I would be doing it. Plus some agencys let you have two in a twin room which ultimately means they have company for each other.

Depends on you.

For me it would be like a 'sleepover' that went on and on and on and on.........shudder.

We did it once and although it worked fine I don't think we would repeat the experiment.

She was a lovely girl and we had with us from just over a year (18+ to 19+). She had had a pretty unpleasant life but she worked full time, didn't smoke or drink in our house and was tolerably quiet.

She only had a couple of close friends but was making the best of things. She moved out through her own choice and I still see her working in a shop I visit every week (OK its Waitrose ) Last time I looked there was a ring on her finger so I am happy for her.

am a v private person, in a v small house, but often end up with 'lodgers' - who usually are in no position to contribute financially so there is not even that to ease the way

yet it's not bad, my eldest daughter came back home from a failed attempt at working overseas and brought a giant MALE waif and stray with her - I thought I'd be devastated at the loss of a little extra space but it's much more fun than expected

the best part is him saying that he feels he has a family for the first time in his life , which is really saying something for the crazy chaotic mess we are here

hm

can I revise that to just quickly add that a lodger who strums guitar loudly on your one day off a week is slightly less desirable than one who doesn't?

I have had lodgers in the past when I was single and never had much trouble except with the last one, who was a HomeStart lodger and a pita - workshy and kept "forgetting" to pay. I kicked him out.

One of my lodgers is now DH! But I have to say that having a lodger AND a live-in partner (before he became DH) was not a comfortable situation - so even if the last one had been ok, I wouldn't have continued having lodgers. As he was crap, it was as good an excuse as any to say "no more".

Getting friends in can be even worse, ime, as you don't feel you can say anything to them if they are really untidy/noisy/obtrusive. At least with a relative stranger it is all a bit more business-like. Agree with needing separate bathrooms as well.

Having said all that, when we were children, my Mum and Dad had lodgers - one of my mum's uncles stayed with us for well over a year, weekdays only; and we had 3 or 4 students who stayed either 1 or 2 years. One of them is still a family friend. And we only had one bathroom, but a separate loo (and a second loo as well, outside)

I need to update.

Our (one and only) former lodger works in Waitrose and I noticed before Christmas there was a ring on her finger. Showing a total lack of British Reserve I spoke to her this morning and I was right. She is engaged which is really nice as her childhood had been fairly traumatic.

I have had loads of lodgers, and never again. They were all friends though, so maybe we weren't clear enough at the start about the situation. One still owes us nearly a months rent getting on for a year later. I also ended up seriously out of pocket yet somehow had lodgers moaning that we charged too much. I would recommend making the utilities bills a shared responsibility so they don't start taking the piss with tumble dryers and so on.

In the end, I don't think me and DP are lodger-types, or maybe we had the wrong lodgers for us, I dunno, but have a short contract to start with in case it doesn't work out through a clash of personalities, and be very clear on dates etc. DP ended up having to practically physically remove one lodger who refused to leave when he was meant to and we had a new lodger coming to take his place that day.

Also make sure you keep enough back in savings to cover the rent/mortgage yourself in case the lodger messes you about one month. Don't let on you have that safety valve though, or they will think it is ok to be late with the rent/not give it to you at all with no notice.

I would say if you have kids, get someone who has kids (maybe grown up?) themselves or has at least lived with a child before.

We had some excellent times in our big shared house, but I wish I hadn't been the one in charge with lodgers, if I had organised it as a proper shared house things would have easier, but I had all the financial stress and organisation on my back and it did me no good whatsoever.

Lodgers......having been one, it can be good as well as very difficult. It's not the same as being a tenant as you can tend to build friendships.

Shared facilties with other lodgers can be like sharing digs with Uni students - food goes missing, no-one wants to clean the house, wash up and the loos can be 'yuck'...

Just as an aside - I did read that some lodgers can 'take over' a relationship; ie run off with your partner and this is apparently fairly commonplace??

But I also know that people from the same place of work - large organisations - can have lodgers and it works fairly well.

A friend of mine has has overseas student lodgers for years. Mainly with complete success. However, friend in question runs her house like Sybil Fawlty and it'd take a very brave lodger to go against the flow! The only grief has come when a lodger has questioned the need to sort her washing into precisely defined different shades of white every Friday evening.

When ds1 was tiny, a friend of ours lodged with us for six months while sorting out a complicated house purchase. It all went very well indeed but he was someone we had already taken holidays with and, of course, there was always a clear end to the arrangement. Nowadays I think I'd want a house large enough to provide any lodger with a sitting room (or at least a bedroom big enough to work properly as a sitting room too) and separate bathroom before taking a lodger.

When I was a kid we kind of had lodgers (relatives and family friends staying) and it was alright as far as I was aware.

But, having lived in flatshares for years there are some maniacs out there (current flatmate - never cleans but likes to tell everyone else how to, barely ever does his own dishes, no sheets on bed, stores recycling in his room, hangs around the living room all the time in his dressing gown. He's such a charmer, it's a wonder he's single ) but also some lovely people.

I agree that the main thing is to set out some basic rules if you decide to go ahead. The biggies are:

• Cleaning. Who does how much and when. People have very different ideas about what constitutes regular cleaning. For some people, it is once a year.
• Buying basics like toilet paper, cleaning products, milk, bread. Maybe have a kitty that you all contribute to or take turns in buying
• Coming home times. You may not necessarily (especially with a three month old) want someone coming home drunk at 3am on a weekday.