to ask DH not to go on his Christmas works night out?

[sillysalley]

Sounds dreadful I know but ...

Tonight he came home and told me the date and it just happens to be the same day as my Xmas work night out. And we have no babysitter (believe me I have tried)

The thing is, he is going out this weekend for a Xmas night out with friends, so he will be having a Xmas night out, but not with all the full work staff.

I have already paid for my night out, bought an outfit etc. Plus I havent been out for 4 months, unlike DH!

So it's either

He goes and I dont
I go and he doesnt
or neither of us go

I feel really bad about the situation but AIBU if I ask him not to go?

did you have your Xmas night out planned before he told you the date of his night out? If so, you got there first, first dibs 'n' all....

What does he think? Pull straws?

Sounds like you have already booked your night out, and he is now double booking, so I would say YANBU.

YANBU - if you got in first with that date then it's tough for him, unless he wants to sort out a baby sitter of course.

Whats his take though? Does he think he should go and you not? In which case...all the more reason for you to go and not feel bad about it!

YANBU though, either way. You booked it first, he has another thing planned, he shouldn't even be thinking about going, unless he can find a babysitter for himself.

Oh, you are definitely NBU.

Do you think he would see it that way? If he wouldn't particularly mind, go ahead and have fun, he'll survive. If he would... well, go ahead and have fun, he'll survive. But do the "oh, what a shame, I really wish we had different dates" speech (which you obv feel anyway).

Long shot, but would the wives/partners/babysitters of any of his colleagues (not sure how close, will only apply if they're actual friends) be able to babysit yours too? Kind of a sleep-over at their friends but for everyone's benefit?

Yup. Got to agree with the others.

Sounds like you've got a prior claim on that night. Not to mention the fact that you haven't had a night out for 4 months and he has.

Go on your night out.

YANBU - tell him you are more than happy for him to go, he just has to sort out the babysitting arrangements.

you don't have to ask him anything at all. just tell him you're already booked on teh calendar to go out that night so he'll need to sort out a babysitter. not your problem

YANBU. Your night out was planned first, he has had other nights out and a further one booked, you deserve a break in adult company too.

I'd be inclined to put that to him tactfully and also to ask him if he can come up with any suggestions for a sitter so you can both go out, making him realise that getting a babysitter or considering the possibilities (or lack of them) isn't just YOUR job, its his too. If he can and its acceptable to you both, fine. If he can't this might focus his mind on the fact that you can't both go out and it may dawn on him that its your turn for a break.