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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think something odd happened at nursery today?

20 replies

mummyof1butnotforlong · 01/12/2009 21:25

DS 24months is a very happy, cuddley chap who likes to hug other little ones and is a very socialable child. He has been really really lovely the last few days, just extra cuddles for us, saying new words etc, very happy.

Today though, something has bothered him. Arrived at nursery and he burst into tears and it was very hard to peal him off me and he took a while to settle - very unusual for him. I called about 10am and he was settled and happy they said.

However when I picked him up they said he had bitten another child and had pushed another child! Totally unlike him again. He cried in time out and went and gave the children a cuddle when asked.

When we got home and ready for a bath, he went MAD. Biting, hitting and scratching me. It was terrible! He has never done this before I just can't stop thinking something may have happened as it is SO out of character for him. Believe me he can have his moments but this is really really odd for him.

Would you be concerned or AIBU??

OP posts:

PeedOffWithNits · 01/12/2009 21:29

what exactly do you mean by something may have happened?

Ripeberry · 01/12/2009 21:30

Maybe he is coming down with something, or maybe he got overwhelmed by something and does not know how to deal with it.
But then he is just entering the 'terrible twos' And believe you me, it can start all of a sudden
Just use consistent discipline with him and maybe try 'time out'.
Don't let him get away with hitting or bitting from the very outset.
Good luck.

Ripeberry · 01/12/2009 21:31

PeedOffWithNits · 01/12/2009 21:31

there could be all sorts of rational explanations - eg just tired, coming down with something, upset about something trivial and insignificant at nursery eg not getting own way about something, clash of personalities with other DC/struggle to be top dog etc etc

llynnnn · 01/12/2009 21:35

my first thought was maybe he is feeling a little off colour? coming down with a cold/bug maybe? is he eating and sleeping ok?

i know dd1 (3.5) has days of madness like this then is full of flu etc the day after.

hope he's not getting poorly though!! don't want to wish that on you both!!

Original poster

mummyof1butnotforlong · 01/12/2009 21:37

The staff were very nice about it although I was so . They said the other child involved is a big character and my DS is sometimes finding it hard to be understood as his speech is still developing. I just hope the other parent will be ok about it.....I feel terrible!

OP posts:

Original poster

mummyof1butnotforlong · 01/12/2009 21:39

Thanks ladies, I have just had Flu and am 8 months pregnant so maybe he is picking up on a bit of stress at the moment!

OP posts:

groundhogs · 01/12/2009 21:39

My DS is generally an angel, but come the afternoon, he can turn into another child entirely, has screamed, shouted, bitten, scratched.

He's getting better, he's 4 in a few days, but he still has his grumpy tasmanian devil moments every so often, once he gets tired.

At the moment, he's exhausted for no apparent reason, which is odd, but he has been unwell, on ABs etc recently, perhaps it's even a growth spurt... tonight he actually asked to go to bed..

It could be nothing more than tiredness/overstimulation... just keep an eye and an open mind. Good luck!

groundhogs · 01/12/2009 21:43

Ooh, just seen your post about the other big character... yep, that's frustration! DS used to flip his lid when he couldn't find the words.

Now he's so much more eloquent, he hardly ever has tantrums.. hardly ever... he did have a 'moment' today...

Don't worry, he'll be OK... just be calm, consistent and supportive.

Original poster

mummyof1butnotforlong · 01/12/2009 21:43

I know I am hormonal and pregnant but how would you know if someone was harming your LO????? I know its stupid to even think it but they can't tell you can they.

Oh god I do sound OTT

OP posts:

porcamiseria · 02/12/2009 09:06

no you dont, I would probably imagine the same unfortunately. worry worry guilt guilt!

But it does sound like toddler tantrums plus general tiredness. Mine is always tired and emotional when he gets back from his 1 day at the CM, think someimes it can all be it bit overwhelming for them...

why not read up on the typical behavioirs for 2 year olds, will put your mind at rest

MillyMollyMoo · 02/12/2009 09:11

We had a nursery from hell experience and you can tell from the DC's reaction to the place.
And turning up early to surprised them, we did that and caught our DD left for a time out for 15 mins when she was 2 yrs old.

If he's normally happy to go there then he's fine, expect a bit of nonsense when the new baby arrives that's perfectly normal.

ChloeHandbag · 02/12/2009 09:11

I bet you that there's nothing untoward happening and that it's frustration regarding his speach. Added with the difficulty of having to deal with other children and their personalities at nursery (they'll all be in terrible twos). Not forgetting that he will pick up on you being pg and tired etc.

Honestly, don't worry.

cloudedyellow · 02/12/2009 09:34

NBU. Worrying for you mummyof1. I'd be inclined to trust my own intuition in these kind of situations. You sound very sensitive and you know your child better than anyone.

I think you are right to be concerned. He has obviously been very upset at nursery and he can't tell you what's happened except by his behaviour. He's only a baby still.

Twenty four months is usually a delightful time as you describe. It's around thirty months that toddlers tend get more difficult.

It's hard not knowing, isn't it, and you have a lot to cope with at the moment?

I would give him lots of comfort and love and keep your eye on the nursery situation.

cloudedyellow · 02/12/2009 09:39

NBU. Worrying for you mummyof1. I'd be inclined to trust my own intuition in these kind of situations. You sound very sensitive and you know your child better than anyone.

I think you are right to be concerned. He has obviously been very upset at nursery and he can't tell you what's happened except by his behaviour. He's only a baby still.

Twenty four months is usually a delightful time as you describe. It's around thirty months that toddlers tend get more difficult.

It's hard not knowing, isn't it, and you have a lot to cope with at the moment?

I would give him lots of comfort and love and keep your eye on the nursery situation.

ThingOne · 02/12/2009 09:41

Poor you. From my understanding, nurseries should not be using time out, or at least anything more than "sit there quietly for a minute", for such young children. A local nursery was pulled up by ofsted specifically on this. They were told it was inappropriate for the age group (under threes, I think).

The biting is horrible, yes, but many children do it around this age and mostly they stop very very quickly. How verbal is your DC? How good is his comprehension? My DS2 was bitten first before biting but it did pass very quickly after some serious chats at nursery and at home.

Original poster

mummyof1butnotforlong · 02/12/2009 20:17

Thank-you all so very much, you have made me feel better. More importantly DS had a lovely day at nanny and grandads's today! Seems much happier however wouldn't go to sleep on his own last night or tonight, he just wanted cuddles and kept holding my face right up to his.....bless him!

I think that only a day at nursery doesn't always help as a week is a long time. However he also goes to my parents twice a week, then home with me Thursday, Fri, Sat, Sun and as I teach the holidays must seem odd to him as well, having mummy for weeks on end and then it all changes again.

I really hope he stars to talk soon and can tell me more of how he is feeling......he understands a great deal and signs alot so can make himself understood at least. He is bright, although all mummys think that!

Once again thank-you!

OP posts:

Morloth · 02/12/2009 20:21

He might have just had a shit day too. We all do, there isn't always a reason perhaps he was just fed up and couldn't say so needed to act it instead.

cloudedyellow · 02/12/2009 21:28

What a dear little boy! He realises at some level that things are changing doesn't he? Life is confusing when you're only two.

Hope he continues to be happier.

Dominique07 · 02/12/2009 21:32

Maybe he has had a minor run in with another child? My DS had to deal with a bullying cousin who always seemed to want to hit him. He also went through a time of biting.

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