reading his texts?
I'm a (fairly) regular poster but have namechanged for impartiality really.
On Sunday night I was playing a game on his phone when a text came through, I clicked on it without really thinking, I never thought that he would be unahappy for me to do it iyswim - we've been married for 20+ years and never had trust issues or anything untoward happen.
It was a joke text from a guy he works with and it had a hideous picture of a naked, morbidly obese woman, I just said, omg, why whould he send you this revolting text? He was a bit narked and asked me why I was reading his texts and that was about it, oh, I asked him not to send it on and if he'd got rid of it.
I went to bed about 15 minutes before him and was more or less asleep when he got into bed, he didn't cuddle up to me like he always does but I didn't really think much of it.
Yesterday he seemed a bit off with me but I'm a bit hormonal atm, so told myself I was imagining him being grumpy, he had a phonecall from a colleague who told him about their boss finding another colleague in a compromising position at the xmas do on Saturday ( which we were at and I met the guy in question) he was allegedly in a clinch with a girl who wasn't his wife! I said something very judgey about him being a creep then and DH went off to work as usual.
FFwd to last night at bedtime and I moved in for a cuddle, my hands started to wander and I said "kiss me" to him, to which he replied that I didn't "deserve" a kiss. I carried on touching him but he grabbed my hand and pushed it away, I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing, he wanted to go to sleep( but in a very cold, hard tone).
I got upset and he didn't move to cuddle me, he didn't say a word in fact for a good 10 minutes of me sobbing.
When he finally spoke he asked me what the hell was wrong so I said I felt really hurt that he'd pushed me away, he told me he was very annoyed that I'd been "checking" his phone and felt like I didn't trust him?
He then started on about my comments about the bloke alledgedly groping the girl at the party saying who was I to judge someone from half a story - I just said that if the guy was behaving in a way he wouldn't have done had his wife been there then it was probably dodgy. We said sorry and cuddled then went to sleep.
The bottom line is that I'm just so amazed and so shocked that he was upset because I looked at his texts, he said he would never snoop at my phone, it wouldn't bother me if he did and it just never occured to me that it would upset him that much, so much so that he didn't want to touch me.
We've both said sorry this morning, I said sorry for looking at his texts but I don't really see that I did anything wrong , I was just being nosey - he's hurt me more than I can say by pushing me away like he did.
Before anyone says it, there is nothing on his phone that he would need to hide from me, he hasn't had it long and I have his old phone, it's got every text he's ever sent or got on it going back two years, I wouldn't dream of trawling through it.
I don't trust my feelings atm, am I unreasonably, irrationally upset for no good reason?
Is he right to be annoyed with me?
Now he thinks I don't trust him.
If he can't handle me being emotional ( I think I'm starting the menopause) how's he going to cope with mega mood swings?
I don't know how to sort this out.