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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say that actually some babies do sleep through quite early

103 replies

PrivetDancer · 01/12/2009 13:32

It winds me up when people say that other mums are basically lying if they say their baby slept through from an early age.

You often see on here something like 'Don't believe them - people class sleeping through as 12 - 4' etc etc.

I know sometimes it's because someone is despairing and needs to know they're not doing something wrong. But some babies do sleep through early, is it wrong to give new mums hope that they might get a full night's sleep sometime soon?

I can categorically state that as a one off my DD slept from 9.30pm to 7am at 8 weeks old (I wrote it on my calendar!) - and it was a regular sleeping pattern by about a month after that. Anybody want to call me a liar or say that's not really sleeping through?

For the record - this isn't intended as a boast - I don't think I did anything 'right' for it to happen, we were just very lucky, and I fully expect a nightmare non-sleeper if we have another baby.

OP posts:
colditz · 01/12/2009 18:45

So am I part of the 98%? Am I stretching the truth? Am I a liar? I assure you I am not.

It's not my fault that ds1 did something that is viewed by anyone who likes to get a good night's sleep as desirable. It's not my fault both my children are a perfect weight for their height when so many aren't. It's not my fault my 6 year old can read when so many can't. It's not my fault my 3 year old strung a sentence on his 2nd birthday when so many don't. And I'm not going to pretend it doesn't/didn't/can't/won't/will never happen just because some people are unlucky.

And sorry, but if your 8 month old is still waking you up 3 or 4 times a night, I'm hardly going to shout "Woohoo, go you!", am I? That's a shit night's sleep!

FrameyMcFrame · 01/12/2009 20:29

I'm sorry Colditz but your post there just sounds unbelievably smug.
Fantastic that your DC sleep well but do we really have to hear about all their other triumphs at the baby olympics?
Don't forget, all kids sleep through the night in the end, they all learn to speak, read, etc at some point. It's not a competition, they won't be putting it all on their C.V when they're 20.

I've had a good sleeper and a bad sleeper, and although i hope I wasn't smug about it with DD I must admit that afer 8 months of sleep dep with DS I really did not understand how truly shit it is to live without adequate sleep before it actually happened to me.

So what I'm saying is, go easy on those who live their lives through the zombie haze of sleep torture, it makes everything twice as hard to deal with.

Wallace · 01/12/2009 20:34

ds2 slept through at 9 weeks old. Anything from 10 to 13 hours straight. Yes he was bf.

However he stopped sleeping through at 4 months, didn't sleep through again for,ooh, about 2 years? And still doesn't always sleep through at he is 3 now...

Wallace · 01/12/2009 20:38

Haha, I've just rememebered that when ds2 started sleeping through I said to my mum something along the lines of "Oh, I really miss having him snuggling in with me in the night, it's very sad to think I'll never have that again" and - he is my third child...

lupo · 01/12/2009 20:43

Those with babies that sleep through are lucky, I had 3 years of unbroken sleep and he is still a tricky eater..needless to say I am stopping at one..he is now five and i could go back to all that again

lupo · 01/12/2009 20:44

sorry mean I could NOT go back to that again

mrswill · 01/12/2009 20:53

DD slept through early-ish at 3 months 7-7, although she only used to wake up for a quick feed once between 7pm and 8am before that. And I remember never feeling tired.

Then we had teething nightmares for a while after 7 months, which i felt like the dead walking. Since then shes slept from 7-8.30am, which is bliss, but lets just say the pay off is that dd is not of a very sunny disposition and is very wearing when she is awake!

Stigaloid · 01/12/2009 21:03

DS slept from 10:30pm to 7am from 9 weeks and from 7pm to 7am from 13 weeks. Has always been a good sleeper. Goes down at 8pm now until 7am and still has a 1-2 hour sleep at lunch time. He is 2.5

MrsMattie · 01/12/2009 21:08

It happens.

My second child slept in five hour chunks from the first night she was born. The midwife made me wake her up to feed her! By 2 weeks old she was only waking once a night. By 6 weeks old she was sleeping 12-13 hours a night unbroken, plus a good long nap morning and afternoon.

It was a revelation.

My first child didn't sleep through until he was 2.5 yrs old.

I always say - nothing I did or didn't do. Just the luck of the draw.

colditz · 01/12/2009 21:20

Tell you what then Framey, if it makes you feel better about your child, and more able to feel superior to me, you can come to Ds1's next psychiatric nurse appointment. Or you can come and clean up ds2's next download of poo in his pants (I'm guessing tomorrow?). Or you can stand and watch with your angelic child as ds1 screams at me for sweets and ds2 joins in, 2 minutes after school pick up time. Or you can mop up the blood next time Ds1 makes Ds2's nose bleed....

Or, maybe, you could accept that I am NOT smug, I am realistic. And part of being realistic is telling the truth. I am NOT going to lie about my children, and I'm not going to engage in One Man Downship ("oh he sleeps fabulously but he's on a behavioral IEP") when the negative isn't in any way relevant to the conversation.

Do you feel better now you've heard all about my children's faults? Sadly you probably do.

Wolliw · 01/12/2009 21:23

I have a pal who has had two babies sleep through from less than 12 weeks.

One day, my 21 month old toddler might.

rookiemater · 01/12/2009 22:11

YANBU. DS slept through from about 8 weeks, we didn't do anything to make it happen, just suddenly flipped from waking up about 5 times a night to not doing it.

Again like some mumsnetters I keep quiet about it because there appears to be some sort of a suggestion that it is unnatural for a DC to sleep through at that age and clearly the parents have done something strange and abnormal to make it happen.

Just a question of luck that's all it is and very little you can do about it either way.

bruffin · 01/12/2009 22:23

YANBU

Both Dc's slept through from 12 weeks, we didn't do anything, they just stopped waking up for feeds.

I can't bear the attitude on mumsnet that this is unnatural or your lying.

crumpet · 01/12/2009 22:25

I'm sure its just down to a good routine

FrameyMcFrame · 01/12/2009 23:04

No Colditz I don't feel better and you are actually engaging in 'One Downmanship' yourself by telling me your childrens faults.
(by the way I have enough poo of my own DCs to clean up, thanks for the offer)

We all have our problems, but, sticking to the topic, which is sleep, the point is that many parents don't want to hear how little Johnny slept for 12 hours at 3 weeks old because they're fucking tired and pissed off because they've had no sleep for months and years.

So whilst it's really great to tell the truth it's also really good to be tactful and not really annoy the tits off people.

colditz · 01/12/2009 23:21

Well, I don't particularly want to hear about how little Tallulah-Belle has been up five times a night for a year. That's what some babies do, either get over it or sleep train her. Don't mope around the baby group complaining, it's boring.

You have to take the rough with the smooth.No child is born tailored for their parents, and interpreting honesty as smugness merely showcases your own personality defects.

YanknCock · 02/12/2009 00:00

Another one here. Exclusively breastfeeding, and DS has been sleeping through from 8p-7a since about 8 weeks.

I know I'm lucky, just try to keep quiet when everyone else at my mum-baby groups is complaining!

2ChildrenPlusLA · 02/12/2009 14:20

Are you for real Crumpet?

Original poster
PrivetDancer · 02/12/2009 14:24

I thought that - but assumed crumpet was being sarcastic!

routine is certainly not my middle name

OP posts:
TigerFeet · 02/12/2009 14:25

dd1 slept from 11-7 from about 6 weeks - exc bf on demand - but made up for it by feeding a lot during the day.

dd2 is only 10 weeks and seems to be more spread out, she wakes once or twice a night on a good night, more on the occasional bad night, but she will sleep more during the day

routine? hahahaha

don't believe in 'em when small babies are concerned, frankly

tethersend · 02/12/2009 14:27

PrivetDancer- the best name I have seen in a while

StealthPolarBear · 02/12/2009 14:31

as the parent of a bad sleeper (2 1/2, had me up 3 times last night, and 'morning' is soon after 5am) i quite like hearing these. Makes me realise how unlucky i have been, and dd more than likely will be better.

mummyhill · 02/12/2009 14:48

dd1 went 8pm - 6am from 8 weeks old
ds didn't sleep through the night till he was 3yrs old.
dd2 is now 9 weeks old and wakes twice a night!

Not done anything different with any of them just shows that they are individuals and develop at their own pace.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 02/12/2009 18:03

IME people who say this generally ARE lying.

And if you have a baby who sleeps through at an early age, then just count your blessings and don't worry yourself when people say that you're lying - chances are they've had no sleep and will likely cry if you tell them you have a sleeper.

YABU

Miggsie · 02/12/2009 18:24

My DD slept throught from very early. I know this, as when I went for my post natal check up I told the doc and she said "that's not fair!" A response that sticks in my mind as being very undoctorish...she then explained hers was 6 YEARS old and still not sleeping well.

My god daughter is sleeping through now and she is 4 months.

But these are the only 2 examples I have heard of.

I was surprised when I learned other children were not good sleepers and have always assumed DD was the exception and not the rule.

I never ever believe poeple who say this who had their babies years and years ago as I don't think they have accurate recall. My MIL swears she never took a job when her children were small but DH remembers sitting in the back of the green grocers where his mum worked cutting the bottoms off brussel sprouts when he was just started at school so I think MIL has a bit of a rosy recollection.