to think if your late for school, its not right to swear at the kids?

[lisad123wantsherquoteinDM]

there is a mum at our school who is late every morning, as we are walking back we see her slowly walking towards school (no rush).
This morning i was at the gates talking to some other mums and shes shouting at this kid to get his f*$?ing arse inot school, he was a !!!!? and to hurry up. Poor kid, but didnt say anything to her, maybe i should have.

I had this problem with my daughter without the language though...she was telling me my grandson who's 5 wouldnt get ready for school and was late......told her it wasn't his fault and that it's the parents reponsibility to ensure the child arrives on time......I probably would have said something but you are to be prepared for what she will say back.......probably a mouthful of verbal abuse to you.

I would actually mention this to the head

With the greatest of respect we have a batt;e every bloo0dy morning with our 6 year old to get dressed and washed (we have her breakfast of dry cherrios and a drink in the car we've given up trying to achieve that happy place).
My 2 eldest are stood at the door good to go at 8.15, she is ofetr still in bed, we leave at 8.20am.

Sometimes it is the child that causes the problem.
No need for the language though.

My DD is a nightmare getting up in the morning and getting ready on time. I am going to start waking her up 5 minutes earlier just so its not a mad rush each day.

I don't use the bad language to her, whats the point? I am also the adult so feel that I need to make sure she is up, ready and out on time.

Personally I think you need to cut her a little slack. Do you know her circumstances and why they are often late? Perhaps she's suffering with depression, troubles and home etc.

Mention to the head that a mum has been heard to say one swear word to their child just once, when stressed and obviously having a tough morning? I think the head would get lots of complaints.

Oh to be so perfect that I could report other parents to the head.

no this certainly wasnt the first time i have heard this language out of her mouth tbh, but not that unusual at the school we attend.
Your right I have no idea why she is late most mornings, all i know is i often see her, as Im walking back from dropping dd1 off, to see her slowly walking up the road, chatting to her friends, in no sort of hurry but is yelling at the kids.

I defend my suggestion.

I am not perfect, I frequently arrive as the bell goes and sometimes after, but there is no way I would swear at my children. It is damaging and abusive, plain and simple.

My mornings are exceptionally trying, I have a 5 yr old with severe SN, a dyspraxic (therefore disorganised and forgetful) DD and a long journey to school down tiny, windy and currently flooded roads, my Dh works abroad and I have no support. If I am late it is generally because I have not got up in time or prepared enough the previous evening.

When I have been late over the years, it has usually been because dd has had a panic attack, screaming and clinging to the bed and occasionally hitting and biting.

But I reserve swearing for my therapist.

The language is awfuland not OK

But we're all human and sometimes you know what?It is the kids who cause it.Like remembering at the time you leave that today theya re having extra PE so need their kit (I am talking 8+ rather than littlies here), or as my own do, simply refusing to leave their beds on occasion.

But I have a strict policy of no matter what ahs been thrown at me in the hour preceeding school,they go in with me happy.

LBC we have similar (2 with asd, one dyspraxic and a toddler)- the most severe goesearly by taxi, but I have an arrangement with the head that if I turn up a few minutes late it's OK (and it keeps ds1 calmer than having to battle a crowd).

OFGS it's not ideal but it's human and not the end of the world.If the child hates it that much then maybe he will get his butt into gear the next time.The idea that being late for school cannot be a 5 yr old's fault is just nonsense !!Do any of you own a 5 yo ??
A better solution though would be to tell the school why he is always late and let them bo*ock him and the threat of them bo*ocking him might be a deterent to his dilly dallying !!

Thought you were talking about me as I caught one mother giving me a dirty look as I swore at my dd this morning. It was wrong and I will apologise when I pick her up, however, she was being particularly annoying this morning and it was really the last straw when she got out of the car in the pouring rain and I said, take my umbrella and stand under it next to the buggy so both you and the buggy stay dry and she forgot immediately (or wasn't listening) and danced off down the road with the umbrella, meaning dd2 had to sit in a wet buggy. Really was raining hard and I'm afraid I told her to stop being so bloody forgetful. Don't report to the head, I'm sure she's got bigger things to worry about.

Peachy you do know who I am, am currently in disguise. I sometimes 'meet' you somewhere else.

I used to be quite casual about my lateness, wich was nearly always caused by my 5 yr old making my 10 yr old late. Then, after a talking to by cdo, I realised being late all the time was making my DD very unhappy.

So now I get up at 6am, so. Sometimes if it all goes according to plan we are there at 8am! But more often than not I have to do some coaxing/bargaining with my 5 yr old and we absorb all the 'emergency time' and get there as the bell rings at 8.30.

Agree with you about leaving them happily, a very sensible attitude.

My 5 yo is late for almost everything. Sometimes it is her fault. Sometimes it is mine. Mostly her though.

For example, she has just arrived late at the school disco. This is for a number of reasons. She had a tantrum in the shop, on the way home from school, because I wouldn't let her buy some balloons. This meant she was late home to get changed.

When she did get home, she decided she did not want to wear what I had chosen, as all of her friends were wearing dresses. So we had to find something else.

She then lost the purse I had given her two seconds before. And finally, just as we were about to leave the house, dd2 declared that she needed to poo. I don't think any of that was my fault.

Reasons for her being late for school on occassion are usually remembering she needs some thing for a project, as we are leaving the house. Putting her packed lunch down and forgetting where she has put it. Deciding she needs loo on the way out of the door, refusing to eat breakfast, losing bits of uniform I have just placed in her hands seconds ago.

I'd love to be able to supervise every move she makes on a morning, but I can't. I usually do mornings on my own and I have dd2 to feed and dress also. And the dog and cat need feeding. Dd1 is impossibly slow at everything she does.

I don't believe what I'm reading here. How can you as adults place the responsibility of being late on a 5 year old child? If you and your child persistently get to school late, the fault lies with the adult in charge. It's not rocket science is it? I've a 4 year old daughter and we haven't been late for school yet (only started in September though).

I get up early, get myself dressed, get DD dressed. DD then has breakfast. I then make sure she has her school bag, lunch boxes, water bottle together. Just before leaving the house, I get her to use the toilet. I'm not saying that there aren't days when things get a bit fraught, but there's no way I could blame her for making me late, for anything.

Yes, but that's only one child. I could monitor dd1 if I only had dd1 and could ensure that she manages to get dressed without losing her knickers/forgetting what she is doing in favour of staring blankly into space . But then what of dd2? Should she have to get up at 6am with me and spend the rest of the day tired and grumpy? Or should she fend for herself?

At almost 6yo dd1 is more than capable of competantly dressing herself. If she cannot manage that, then yes, I believe it is her fault.

LeQueen Lucky you, unfortuantely until midnight I am too busy chasing autidtic kids around the house trying to settle them. 'Course, most people will then say 'Oh but I don't mean you'.... but unless their child is in ds1'sclass or they know ds3 some toher way who would know why we are late? So they glare.

And I glare back.

I used to manage the 7.15 bus every day before ds3 was born, and when ds1 was tiny enough to be more easily manageable. but each of them needs 1-1 of some level just to get their clothes on, and a meltdown or lost shoe (lost between dressinga nd elaving perfectly possible Chez Peachy) is all it tkaes. Or indeed a delayed SNU taxi. A couple of times lately i'veeven overslept myself.BAd Mummy,trying to cope on 3 hours sleep a nigth whilst odd ones ill.

I've got a wholelist of things I can worry about, 5 minutes late (upsetting mummies not the teachers who are fine about it as they know our story) is soooooo way down my lisyt.

We have never been late for school in nearly 3 years, but that is because DD1 would have a melt down if we were, and I do have her, a 2 year old to get tready and both me and dh to get to work BUT I think we are all late sometimes, but just dont think its fair to swear at kids.

That must depend on where you live,as the only people consistently late at ours chool are us and the cleaner's child (by agreement as cleaner ahs to go home and fetch her, fair enough, never more than five minutes).

Maybe you lot just don't have scary enough teachers.