Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit disturbed by this?

32 replies

CheerfulYank · 01/12/2009 02:45

At the school I work at today, one of the students (he's a first grader, age 6) was going on and on about the movie the Unborn. I haven't seen it (don't like horror movies), but I've heard what it's about and am shocked that he's seen it.

Am I being overprotective in that I would never, ever let my 6 year old watch something like this? Some of my friends who are parents let their children watch anything they want and make me feel like I'm over-sheltering my son or something. Is it common practice to let small children watch graphic violence now?

And for the record, before I get flamed, I know the parents of the student in question and I am not judging them. It's just definitely not a choice I would make. Am I being precious?

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 01/12/2009 02:55

No way would my 6yr old watch a horror!

A friend let her dd watch them & would not accept that they were the cause of her nightmares & bedwetting!

mathanxiety · 01/12/2009 05:19

Very poor judgement, imo. Films are rated for a reason. The child was going on and on about it because he was having a very hard time processing it -- a sure sign he shouldn't have been allowed to watch it (too late now though). Why not judge these parents? They're not doing their job, and you're definitely doing yours, and not being precious.

Buda · 01/12/2009 06:29

It is definitely not normal practice! My DS is 8 and no way would he watch something like that. However some people view things differently. My 10 year old nephew is really into the Mafia and got the box set of The Godfather Trilogy for his 10th birthday! He watches a lot of things I feel are totally inappropriate and plays video games for 18s. My sis and her DH say they have watched everything and 'it is not too bad'.

Hammy01 · 01/12/2009 07:21

YANBU - my dad used to let me and my sister watch horror films (after he had watched them the night before to 'censor' them!) when we were about 9 and 8 and tbh, I never wanted to watch them, (I'm not sure why we did )but I know this contributed to our fear of the dark and overactive imaginations of what could be in the 'dark' too...even too this day.
I am a 33 yr old mother of 2 who if I am the last one downstairs at night and I've turned the downstairs lights off, I have to run up those stairs as something or someone may be chasing me or grab my fleeing ankle.
When I get into bed I also hate my legs dangling out of it as its not 'safe'
So no your not being precious at all and my children will not watch horror films - mostly because I get too scared!!!

LoveBeingAMummy · 01/12/2009 07:41

Defo not, why would they need to see it?

MrsGokWan · 01/12/2009 07:46

YADNBU

Who in their right minds would let a 6 yo watch a horrer film. I wouldn't let my nearly 8 yo watch one.

I seem to remember that the boys who killed Jamie Bulgr were allowed to watch them, though I know thre wasmore to it than that.

ErnestTheBavarian · 01/12/2009 07:51

Maybe he hadn't seen it but someone in hs family had got the dvd and he saw the box or a coule of minutes and was making it up and showing off? Mine occasionally make up all sorts to look cool, especially my just turned 6 year old

nickschick · 01/12/2009 07:56

I have 2 older ds and there younger brother quite often claims to have watched their films in reality he hasnt just seen a trailer or the box.

Original poster
CheerfulYank · 01/12/2009 15:55

He went quite into detail about certain aspects of the film so I know he actually watched it, or at least saw a good portion of it. (At least he tried to go into detail, I kept telling him, "This isn't an appropriate conversation for school," as the other children stared at him wide-eyed) And I work at our local movie theater as well as the school so I've seen the parents bringing him and his brother to PG-13 movies before.

My son is only 2 at this point and we don't have cable, so he can only watch DVDs. At this point it's been limited to Thomas, Elmo, Fraggle Rock etc. so I think that's why I'm wondering. Obviously I don't want to overshelter him but I know when he's six or seven I would never let him watch a movie that contained graphic violence and sex.

OP posts:
pagwatch · 01/12/2009 16:04

The film ratings arethere for a reason.

Your DS is only two but between now and your child becoming 6 or 8 you are unlikely to suddenly approve of small children watching films aimed at teenagers.

This isn't an issue of 'gosh am I oversheltering him by not letting him watch violent horror films'. It is common sense.

I would never let my 7 year old DD watch that, I probably wouldn't let my DS who is 13.

FWIW I would judge them like fuck and I wouldn't let my child stay over with a child whose parents thought that that was appropriate . Because it isn't

BTW it was rated thus

The film was rated PG-13 by the MPAA for intense sequences of violence, terror, disturbing images, thematic material, and language including some sexual references, with a brief scene of sexuality. Rated UK:15, Australia:M and Ireland:16

Anyone who thinks that that is ok for a six year old is stupid. Very stupid

Morloth · 01/12/2009 16:18

Not a chance I would let DS watch something like that. He has seen quite a few PG rated movies but only after we have seen them and I am pretty careful about what he sees. I always have a read of the imdb.com parent's guide as well before seeing any movie (even the G/U rated ones).

He just doesn't need to know about this scary stuff yet - besides why take away those teenage years of watching terrifying b-grade horror and then not being able to sleep all night?

Hammy01 I have to sleep with all my bits tucked in at night, totally self inflicted though waaaaaaaaay too many Stephen King novels over the years.

AMumInScotland · 01/12/2009 16:19

The vast majority of parents will not be letting their 6yo see 18 rated films. You're not being overprotective, precious, or unusual in the slightest.

Many parents do decide for themselves whether films and games are ok for their child, and let them see things which are an older certificate after they've thought through it and made an informed decision, but mostly only things a notch or two above the child's age.

And a tiny proportion of parents set no limits at all on these things. But they are very much a minority.

LeQueen · 01/12/2009 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peachy · 01/12/2009 16:23

Mine are 10,9, 6 and 1 and do not watch above a PG / 12 9and only a 12 if we have seen it and decided its OK)

YANBU

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 01/12/2009 16:24

YANBU! Far from it, and to be honest i would be having a word with the head teacher. This is not apropriate in any way. This poor childs parents need to told that, and for him to come into school telling other 6yr old is a good excuse to challenge the parents over this.

Original poster
CheerfulYank · 01/12/2009 17:04

THANK YOU everyone. For a second I thought the world was going to hell in a handbasket. What's next, 9 yo's being given porn for birthday presents?

Glad to know I am NBU.

OP posts:
LastTrainToNowhere · 01/12/2009 17:08

OMG! Now this is one occasion when I will judge and judge without impunity (is that the right word?). What were they thinking of? I have seen the movie (I think) and it just is not suitable viewing for a 6 year old. Horror films are for teenagers upwards. Really, some people......

mathanxiety · 01/12/2009 17:13

Agree with Five -- and also maybe the poor child needs someone to 'debrief' him and ask him to try to express his feelings about the film, which, imo, clearly distressed him. Is there a school psychologist or qualified counsellor available who could send a form letter home to school parents about this issue? Or talk with/listen to the child? It's fine to ask him to stop talking to the other children about it, but I think he needs a sympathetic listening ear.

Since you work part time in the cinema, what is their policy about admitting children? I understand the parents took the child along and he wasn't therefore unaccompanied, but is there any way for the cinema to refuse admission to children even with parents?

Nothing to stop them from letting him watch anything at home, of course.

thelunar66 · 01/12/2009 17:17

YANBU at all. No way would I let DC see anything like this at that age.

But, everyone seems to have different ideas and I know that my SiL allowed her 6 yr old DD and 8 yr old DTs play Grand Theft Auto. I was called 'stuff and a bore' when I said I wouldn't even let my 12 year old DS play that. She told him.. dont worry, you can play it at my house and your mum will never know!

mathanxiety · 01/12/2009 17:19

Oh what an utterly cool mum she is, thelunar66.

Original poster
CheerfulYank · 01/12/2009 18:22

Yuck, lunar. I would be beyond irritated with someone who undermined my parenting like that. Do not even get me started on Grand Theft Auto...yes, let's learn to kill prostitutes for fun. Great plan.

I've just spoken to the head teacher about this and she was very disturbed and said she will speak to his parents about it. I might mention it to the school psychologist as well so that I know what to say next time.

As far as the movie theater rules go, unless a movie is rated NC17 we cannot refuse admission to children if their parents are with them. If the parents are not with them they cannot get into rated R movies.

Pagwatch, I think that's part of it too. I don't want to be known as b*itch mom in the future, but I will not allow my son to go on playdates at houses where things like this go on.

OP posts:
Original poster
CheerfulYank · 01/12/2009 18:23

Um, I meant b*tch. Pointless bit of censoring there

OP posts:
pagwatch · 01/12/2009 18:24

Cheerful

Stick to your guns and stick to your own sense of what is OK.
I remember wondering if really all the other kids were allowed to play x game or see x film but actually DS1 now admits that even at 16 he hates violent films and was always privately very grateful that I said no.

Some parents have a really crap compass and others ( I think) make poor choices for fear of being seen as strict.

nellie12 · 01/12/2009 18:29

yeas ago I worked in a childrens home and one of the contributing factors for a family in care at the time (added to the case for neglect /not managing) was that the very young kids were being "allowed" to watch 18 rated movies.

so yadnbu. and if he is coming in reporting htat it would set off alarm bells because I would be wondering what else was going on

fernie3 · 01/12/2009 18:32

YANBU I hate horror films and cant imagine a child my daughters age watching them!