he is mr fabulous in many many ways, but in this way he is utterly useless.
most recent example:
saturday morning, we'd had a late night watching films. I'd got up with dd2 at 7am and he had had a lie in till 10am. Often he gets up, so we're all square there.
I was feeling crap. I had terrible belly ache, was really tired (own fault i know but still, we were in it together) and could feel a temperature and headache coming on. When he came downstairs I was trying to do an online shop cos I knew I wouldn't have time later on as we had a busy day, and my head was really muzzy and i was flagging badly. I said hi to him and carried on with it but I couldn't concentrate cos both dds went mental and started jumping on him when he came into the room so I said (probably a bit grumpily I admit) 'oh I can't do this now, I feel really shit' and went to get a drink.
He snaps at me 'well you're in a GREAT mood aren't you' which just made me feel worse, because I am so used to him being vile when I'm ill, I knew what the day was gonna be like. I then explained to him how I was feeling and went to get some water.
I had got up too quickly and got a major head rush which made me feel naueous so I sat down in the kitchen and started to cry (pathetic I know but I was really tired). So, rather than show any kind of hint of sympathy he stomps into the room and goes 'oh just take some paracetamol and go back to bloody bed if you're gonna be like that'.
(I didn't cos we had too much to do and he knew that)
He did not ONCE over the course of the day ask me how I was, or approach me with any kind of affection. He just dismisses any illness I have as me overreacting or just because I'm tired which apparently means it's not worthy of any sympathy. I managed to sleep while dd2 napped and dd1 was at dance class, and felt a bit better. The stomach is still coming and going in waves today.
And you know what, he's only like that when I'm ill or sad about something. The rest of the time he's very sweet, mild mannered, affectionate and lovely. And I am always sympathetic to him and am a really happy and cheerful person. I just dread getting ill because he is unfailing in how horrible he is to me. My 2yo hugs me and goes 'aww poor mummy', my 10yo gets me a drink and puts a blanket on me, and he stands there, tutting, shaking his head and muttering under his breath things like 'pathetic', 'ridiculous'. He either dismisses it or shouts at me i can't figure it out.