To be annoyed that other people always get what they want

[PrinceIngles]

Ok so here's the situation. DH & I are in the process of fertility treatment. Since we told our close friends earlier this year about our situation one couple have gone on to be pregnant with their fourth child. Obviously we are fully aware that people cant put their lives on hold for us & people having babies is always going to happen. However I just cant seem to be overjoyed for them, firstly their decision to try for another came just weeks after we told them about our situation and secondly when they did get pregnant she was disappointed by the fact that she thought she was having a girl as what she really wanted another boy. Now today they have found out that they are infact expecting a boy and I was so annoyed that they had been given what they wanted again. Is this unreasonable or am I just a crap friend.

You poor dear. YABU but only a saint would not feel a bit jealous.

I am suffering my version of jealousy hell too. A few weeks ago I had a nasty late miscarriage at 19 weeks. I went through "labour" alone and held my tiny baby in my palm. I am grieving terribly, but I have to put my feelings on hold and go see a friend who gave birth last week to a beautiful girl. I will have to hold her in my arms and smell her newborn scent and listen to my friend complain about sleepless nights and try not to wail out loud.

Another friend is due in 5 weeks, so I will have to repeat the whole thing again.

I am pleased for them, but I cannot be happy for them. I cannot be happy, period. But I will stick a smile on my face and coo over their baby and save my tears for my bathroom

Blimey last train to nowhere you are a saint and if I was you I would be avoiding all of that, so so sorry for your loss [hugs].

I inadvertently did this to my own sister, unbeknown to me (we are not very close) she had been experiencing infertility for a few years and had undergone IVF for the first time. Luckily it worked and she became pregnant at which I was overjoyed. Hmm such is life I accidentaly fell pg 3 months later (and being the youngest child still living at home received much fuss).

I do feel guilty still for "stealing her thunder" iyswim, but not to be helped.

I understand how you feel. Its very hard to hear someone else getting what it is you want and having to be pleased for them. My best friend recently had a little girl and it has been extreemly difficult for me as I lost a wee girl in pregnancy. My friends made me an honorary auntie and I see them lots. Some times I find it hard, some I can see her for the little girl she is. But I would rather have them in my life and find it tricky somedays than not here at all.

BLD, my dh thinks I should avoid it too, but my friends honestly think they are doing me good by drowning me in all things newborn. I usually meet them once a week and our older children play together, but they're coming over more often since the miscarriage. They see it as giving me a break and company (which it is!). I just have to keep my envy under wraps and hope things get easier. I'd rather have them in my life than not iyswim

Lasttrain your post did make me cry. How totally horrible for you. You're being so brave and wonderful about it even though it clearly hurst like Hell. I hope things feel better soon