to stop my nan from seeing future child as she ignores my soon to be husband?

[LouLouH]

My Nan is probably the most spiteful person i have ever known. My partner has never given her reason to dislike him but she talks badly about him behind my back and even makes snide little comments in front of me when talking to other people without directing it straight. I am in my first trimester and not really pleased with the stress she puts me under. I recently confronted her over it and she tried to laugh it off. I ended up telling her she's spineless and never to talk to me again.

Am i being unfair? My partner is the most caring, loyal, loving man i know. He has recently come out of the Marines so has even served our country, yet she wont even acknowledge him.

He is my future as is our unborn child and my DD from previous (v.bad) relationship.

There are so many things i would say to her to let her know just how angry and hurt i feel by her actions but she is old and most definitely uses that to her advantage. At one point or another she has fallen out with someone in our family.

I´d be tempted to.

If you don´t get on with her, what´s the point in a relationship?

Although if your husband isn´t bothered, I wouldn´t do it for his sake.

Can you cut down on contact initially?

If she puts you under that amount of stress with everything she does, then back off and don't see her.

Unless she lives with you that should be relatively easy.

We have a family run business so i work with my father (She is his mother in law) he feels under pressure to give her something to do because of my mum.
I have to work in the same office as her for 6 hours 5 days a week.

My other half is upset by it, he said he has never known someone to be like that towards him with no just cause.

He put his life at risk for our country and trust me im not condoning the war as i feel the soldiers are bloody brain washed (thats a different rant i think!) and she comes out with comments like the real men are the ones that came back with missing limbs?! She really is twisted.

It probably sounds pathetic to you guys, but i've had the same stupid comments now for over a year and its eventually worn me down especially with these damn hormones.

Ignore her - will you be leaving the business when you go on mat leave? Maybe it's time to move on and do something that is away from her.

YANBU she sound like an utter nightmare and has to learn the hard way. That child you are carrying is a part of him, and if he is not treated with dignity and respect by her than she does not respect and love your future child.

Hi - are you me?

My grandma has been horrible since I announced I was pregnant (out of wedlock little bastard, you'll ruin your career - which she didn't think was good enough anyway, what - you're going to put "it" in nursery - how dare you?, what - you're already pregnant again? - rather you than me, I could go on). She's also "fallen out" with my OH because he "spat at her" - he didn't, he wouldn't, he's mild-mannered, caring, polite, respectful.

I've found it really hard to communicate with her at - I sent an epic letter explaining how I felt and just got one back rebutting all my points and suggesting that they weren't at all valid. I have been to see her a couple of times since DD1 (2.10) was born but they've only seen DD2 once and that was a year ago. I feel bad because my lovely grandad is missing out. I'm also aware that, at 86, time is running out and I will doubtless be left with a dreadful sense of guilt if either of them dies and I haven't seen them recently.

The way I handle it is to go with my mum so that the pressures environment is diluted a bit (although her amd my mum don't get on brilliantly either) and tell myself that if she is nasty to me or the girls I can leave. I also know that if she badmouths OH in front of his daughters then I will also leave, DD1 is getting to the age where she will completely understand and she doesn't need to hear it. I would have no compunction in just leaving the room, packing my bag and going.

Just thought you should know you're not alone.

and does not deserve to see him/her. Yes good excuse to get out of working for that company, do something else inanother company. Try not to have anything to do with her.

I think old people just get bitter with age!

I will be going on maternity leave for quite a while as my DP earns enough money for us to keep on top of things for a bit. Although i will have to return at some point.

Pigletmania i totally agree with your comments and that is why i want to refuse her any knowledge. I haven't even said im pregnant yet which is something i should be celebrating and its because i cant be bothered to take the same comments Robino has taken.

I think the letter thing is a good idea, but with everything i want to write in it she'll probably have a bloody heart attack or something knowing my luck!

poor you louhou hope that i dont turn out like that when i am old, though my dh keeps saying how much like my mum i am getting

Why does she not like him?

Cring! When my mum and i had an argument a few months ago she kindly dug deep and told me im just like my nan! Ouch!

Thanks for your comments ladies. I've somewhat vented myself now. Still i know it'll be the same crap all over again on Monday. Although after putting her in her place yesterday she seems better behaved. Haven't had my DP come into see me at work since though. Might do it Monday just to irritate the old batleaxe!