for being very cross with DH

[muminclogs]

Yesterday evening I popped out to run a small errand and drop off my sister. Practically the first time I'd been anywhere on my own since birth of DS. Left DH with DD (18mo & fast asleep) and DS (6 wks). Also left some breastmilk in the fridge. DH assured me he would be fine. I had only been gone for half an hour when DH phoned: DS screaming in the background. DS had already had the milk, but still hungry. Told DH more milk in the freezer. And started to hurry, of course. DH managed to call me 4 (!) more times during my car ride to whine about DS still screaming and why was I not home yet. As if I was having a casual coffee instead of dropping off sister!(16 btw) Traffic was bad, so took even longer than I thought. Got incredibly frazzled and upset. DH made me feel I'm an unfit mum for being out for about 90 mins in total. Got home to DH giving me the silent treatment the rest of the night. Still very cross. What's his * problem!

YANBU - parents have to deal with their children crying - he should be able to deal with it. And he certainlt shouldn;t give you the silent treatment. You've got every right to go and run a couple of errands (or even go for a coffee) and leave him in charge of the kids.

He is being a complete arse and YANBU I have a similar DH and I give as good as I get, so you went and dropped off a teenager its hardly the crime of the century, next time you should have a coffee was your ds actually hungry or did he just need a calm loving cuddle?? I would be ignoring him until he realises that he is being an idiot. Give him the silent treatment, you are not an unfit mother you just got no support from your idiot of a dh

have to say (in DHs defence) that he's usually quite good with offspring, housework etc But DS's screams freak him out. DS is fairly dramatic, some babies sob or whimper, mine wails and cries like there's no tomorrow. He was seriously hungry though: had 160 ml and latched on as soon as I got home. Am quite fed up with BF by now: feel completely taken over by DS

YANBU

It is difficult as your DH was unable to any more milk, but as colonel says, perhaps she was upset from him getting so agitated!

Either way, he had to deal with it, it was dangerous of him to keep phoning you and putting you under pressure to get back quickly when you were driving.

muminclogs, the BF gets easier as they settle in to it. It does feel relentless initially and it is probably much more difficult when you have an older toddler too.

He didn't cope well, at all, did he - but as you say this is a bit out of character. But it wasn't fair of him to transfer his stress on to you in that extreme way. I can understand his utter frustration though; he doesn't have your instant way of sorting it! And faffing with defrosting frozen milk while a 6 week old is dramatically screaming is stressful.

Still doesn't give him the right to put it all on you though.

I can understand you feeling taken over with it at the mo - as Q said it will settle to more of a pattern. Some friends did mix-feed, the evening bottle or two formula given by dad, because it took the pressure off them and made them feel a little less 'imprisoned' by the feeding. However I haven't done this myself and I know it potentially impacts on your supply etc so I wouldn't pretend to give advice. But it worked for these people.

YANBU, understand his frustration at not being able to settle DS but how on earth is that your fault? I would head off the silent treatment immediately, nothing grates me more than sulking. You have done nothing wrong and to treat you like you have is disrespectful and extra stress that you do not need. I would request an immediate explanation of what upset him so much and why he feels his actions are justified.

If he fails to enlighten you I would then flick his ears until he submits and stops acting like a baby