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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

i really do think he`s lost the plot this time.

46 replies

candlesticks · 26/11/2009 17:56

Dh is a bit of an arse at times, as we all can be , but this time i think hes fliped his lid or something?
MIL has bought a gift of clothes for our dc.... but has again bought the wrong size .
she thinks ds is bigger than he is.
She asked dh to bring it ,yesterday ,down to try on ds and see if its ok size wise.
DH produced the clothes , but before he got them out of the bag , murmured some comments about not being sure if ID</span> like them or not?.DS was about so held clothes up against him to see.... top OK.... trousers went up to his neck! i fell about laughing and said your mum always gets him sizes too big . DH IS LIKE THIS ->. and starts demanding to know what i think ... im getting by now , but am still laughing , because i could virtually see the steam comming from dhs ears ! He says he knows i dont like them, but wants an answer....all the time getting more and more worked up.
Im in hysterics by now , WTF is wrong with him?
He starts shouting , he wants an answer ! I reply " im doing a switzerland on this one , i have no opinion on it , only that its too big . If you dont like them , tell your mum, but your acting like a fanny ! "
At this DH storms out slamming the door and shouting hes away to his mums to tell her i hated the gift???? wtf????. He disapeared , came back in at 10pm and sat growling in the corner , i asked him if hed like a cup of tea and he replied " im not telling you, you wouldnt tell me earlier," (again WTF???).
He sits glaring at the tv for an hour then goes to bed.I slept on sofa.
i woke up at 8 and went into our bedroom , dh is awake and gives me a dirty look and turns over and pretends to back to sleep. then he gets up after kids have left for school ,and starts the argument all over again!- and lol the clothes reapear!.... he storms out to work late . I dont think i should have to tell him what he wants to hear if its not true regardless.
I text him that hes an arse ,and i hate him.
then i text back after a bit saying i shouldnt have txt and i dont hate him.
No sooner has that left my mobile than the MIL phones about the bloody clothes!
She is now going on and on about if i dont like them i should say ect.i tell her the clothes are fine , just too big.Again she repeats if i dont like them,ect.. this is said about 4 times then i crack and say i couldnt give a rats arse what you give your grandchildren , as long as you love them is all i care about . (shouldnt have snapped i know !)....
I think DH has went and told his mum dont like clothes, because he doesnt like clothes.... so now i look like an arse .?
Dh is known for dislikeing his mums choice of clothes he wore as a child . Have heard tales of trousers that matched the 1970`s sofa - so he looked like he had missing legs when he sat on it!

So AIBU for laughing at DH`S strop?,

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 26/11/2009 18:55

all this inane he said/i said/she said is toxic

have a calm adult conversation,all that high expressed emotion deflects from real issues/whatever they are

candlesticks · 26/11/2009 18:55

they are 4. we had them after we got back together after ow .DH was really sorry , and i believed him. still do.

OP posts:
candlesticks · 26/11/2009 18:57

need to go. will be back later .

OP posts:
Peachy · 26/11/2009 18:58

Well i think that he started it but you boyth acted like children tbh.

but the MIL bit...... even if you split she will be your best ally when it coms to the DC, so ring her, apologise, say you werestr4essedand that you think the clothes are fine and will keep nicely until he grows, which he will do. FIL's Fiancee made ds4 aq cardi for his arrivL gift which fits him now at 20 months, and is really appreciated.

You still ahve the chance to turn this around with MIL, if you are big enough.

And BTW- all the LOL'ing is odd.

candlesticks · 26/11/2009 20:39

right, im back ! Flame away ... im ready

OP posts:
Chandon · 26/11/2009 20:56

How can you all live like this

Sounds like poor MIL did nothing wrong.

Sounds like you don´t appreciate a gift. Clothes that are too big are not a problem, kids grow into them, you know?!

scottishmummy · 26/11/2009 21:23

bemused you all squabble so,about sweet fa frankly

BitOfFun · 26/11/2009 21:28

When contempt comes in the window, love walks out the door.

morningpaper · 26/11/2009 21:32

You sound like you know just what buttons to press and pressed them

Why do you treat your husband like that?

scottishmummy · 26/11/2009 21:33

others are buttering you up.you are as daft as dh.he isnt more in the wrong than you,you are both barking

and this is most definitely not a LOL situation

meltedchocolate · 26/11/2009 21:34

YABU

Umm I think you acted really strangely tbh. Your argument sounds so stupid. Your side as well as his. I dont know what was wrong with him in the first place but your reaction would have driven anyone insane. I think you are a very irrational person judging on your OP. Your text, your reaction to MIL. I don't get you. I think your Dh's anger is prob a build up from something. Perhaps the way you act in general if this is the way you act? I am not trying to be nasty but i really dont understand your pov at all!

meltedchocolate · 26/11/2009 21:35

morningpaper that is the question i wanted to ask. You almost sound manipulative OP. I would feel really low and angry with you if i was your DH.

morningpaper · 26/11/2009 21:36

I do agree that this is most definitely not a lol situation

meltedchocolate · 26/11/2009 21:37

Also you talk about your DH like he is a child beneath you.

meltedchocolate · 26/11/2009 21:38

Agreeing on the un'lol'ish situation!

thumbwitch · 26/11/2009 21:40

I think you need to check that your H isn't playing away again then, if this has happened before. Definitely try and mend bridges with MIL - and try to stay calm.

scottishmummy · 26/11/2009 21:44

this tawdry tale is all
he said:"fanny"
i said: twat
dirty looks and huffs

he isnt worse than you.you aren't worse you are both being equally petty and argumentative

your post reads like the diatribe of a chewing gum poppin i said/he said schoolgirl

morningpaper · 26/11/2009 21:46

I thought you were citing a poem there SM

I may have googled it

meltedchocolate · 26/11/2009 21:48

Haha Never mind morning

candlesticks · 26/11/2009 22:55

meltedchocolate ... what can i say? manipulative? what did i manipulate? i certanly was not in control of the situation.
"all the LOLing"? ... yes i was laughing to begin with...sometimes if you laugh ,it can diffuse a situation from turning nasty...and i did think it was funny that the trousers were too big, but only because MIL does this everytime she buys clothes for ds.its a family joke, dh in the past has laughed about it.
Irrational?,and DH`S anger is my fault?.Of course mens anger is always caused by their wives....
But i think perhaps i was a bit childish...i did try to "break the ice" with him ,twice.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 26/11/2009 23:04

sit tight someone will rock up and blame male hegemony

then you wont have to take responsibility for fact you both act irrationally. stop carping he said/i said. attributing blame

sort this out.do you love him?do you value your marriage?time to both act like adults

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