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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my CM to reduce her fees?

111 replies

muggglewump · 26/11/2009 16:48

I've known my CM for 5 years, she's been having DD on and off for that time.

She's great, I trust her completely, she will go out of her way for me and DD is happy there.
Last year she had DD from school till 5.30 three days a week.

I have a different job now, where I only need her in holidays and for overtime, but she only does wraparound and holiday care anyway, as she works in a Crèche termtime.

Now, here is the issue.

I have to work this Sunday, from 7.30am, until I finish, probably around 4. (I'm a cleaner). CM charges time and a half for Saturdays, double time on a Sunday so it'll be £8 an hour.
I've agreed to work this as a favour to my boss.

I do NOT think my CM is being unreasonable to charge this, but I really can't afford to work a weekend day again, after this as I'll be out of pocket as I get paid £5.83 an hour.

Would it be U to approach her and ask if she'd consider charging the weekday rate?

That way, I earn a bit more, get to help out at work when they need weekend cover and she makes a bit, rather than me never working a weekend and no one earns extra?

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 26/11/2009 21:15

cleaner £6.92ph plus enhancements,check out your local trust
register nhs job siteregister with other agencies and nhs trust
look at local pay -do others offer weekend rates.if so tell boss
she might be a mate but you cannot be out of pocket doing anyone a favour

good luck

scottishmummy · 26/11/2009 21:20

as i said maybe there is a slight conflict of interest,she is your friend and boss. she needs her rota covered that's why she asks "favours" she is boss first, mate second

pigletmania · 26/11/2009 21:44

You can ask Muggle of course you can, but expect a 'no'. I know that you get on well with your boss, but you really need to tell her your situation and that it is leaving you out of pocket. You go to work to earn money, not loose it.

pigletmania · 26/11/2009 21:47

If i were your CM i might do it for you as a one off, but not if its on a regular basis no. She too has to earn a living and is giving up her weekend hence her rates. You need to think of you first, there is no way i would do this myself at all. Have you looked at other job options that would be more suitable.

nappyaddict · 26/11/2009 21:58

My friend is a CM. She charges 40% extra for weekends and overnight if booked in advance. If it is emergency cover she charges double time.

macdoodle · 26/11/2009 22:13

Do you not have a mate or your DD a friend you can ask to have for you on sunday ?? My mates would gladly help out of they could!
Ridiculous situation!

mumblecrumble · 26/11/2009 22:27

Yes, definitely, aska friend... is this a one off?

Sympathy to you and good on you for working.

Original poster
muggglewump · 26/11/2009 22:49

No, I don't have a friend to ask. I would have if I did.
My boss is not taking advantage, she asked as I am an employee, I agreed without telling her what it would mean.
We get on great, and she is a great boss.

My fault, not hers.

I won't do it again, and as has been said, it's unreasonable to approach my CM about this, so I won't.

Thanks for the replies.

OP posts:
TotalChaos · 26/11/2009 22:58

agree with SM - I know it's not the ideal time, but worth looking for a better paid job - bogstandard (sorry no pun intended!) NHS clerical work pays £6.76 p/h, and there are part-time jobs that can fit v. well round school hours.

RoysRolls · 26/11/2009 23:19

You are being a complete doormat. You must tell your boss the situation for future weekends.
I don't know where you live but my friend frequently uses a weekend childminder for her kids whilst she works as a session musician in an orchestra.
Here in London the weekend rate is between £12 and £20 an hour....she often only breaks even but is fortunate to love her work.
£8 an hour is a bargain. I wouldn't insult your CM by even asking. Be brave and talk to your boss about the situation.

Original poster
muggglewump · 26/11/2009 23:29

Gahhhhh.

It took me 5 months to get this job.
I don't drive, the nearest hospital is a nightmare on public transport, and yes, I applied for a job there, I applied for dozens of jobs. Most, I didn't even get an interview for.
This is the only one I got.

I'm not a doormat, I just thought it was a good thing to fill in on a weekend day, after my boss had been good to me.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 26/11/2009 23:42

ok but you cant do shifts that lose you money

you need this to be financially viable.essentially your boss is your boss 1st your mate 2nd. maintain some sort of boundary dont cave into emotional matey pressure

boss needs rota covered
you need to make enough money on weekend for it tr be worthwhile

cat64 · 26/11/2009 23:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
muggglewump · 27/11/2009 00:38

cat64, No, as the other lone parent I work with has children older than mine.
They are 12 and 14 so old enough to be left, whereas DD isn't.
The other woman I work with can't get in to work on a Sunday as there is no bus from where she lives.

I wish I could swap childcare, but I can't.
My CM is having DD for my Christmas meal out, and I'm to be back by 7.00pm. (I'm going out at 3pm)

I'll suck it up this weekend, but not do it again.

I'm used to it, I haven't had a proper night out in three years but it does sometimes get to me that I'm trying to sort out Childcare, not so I can go out, but so I can work.

God, how my life had changed!

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 27/11/2009 01:00

CMs on here - if you don't want to work weekends why not just say I don't work weekends instead of charging high rates where you still might have to do them if someone asks.

groundhogs · 27/11/2009 17:30

Mugggle, PLEASE, just talk to your 'friend' if she is a friend, really, she ought to hear that you are putting yourself considerably out of pocket.

you don't have to expect her to do anything about it, but tell her at least? PLEASE?

scottishmummy · 27/11/2009 17:36

but her friend is boss who is asking her to work.both different priorities. the boss has to cover rota,manage staff etc.that is the conflict of interest. a friend wouldn't put you to that imposition but the boss has,to get shift covered

pigletmania · 27/11/2009 17:41

IMO the op should tell her boss the situation and that she would be out of pocket, and if the boss cant get the staff to cover the cleaning, she might have to get in agency staff like they do with carers and nurses.

groundhogs · 27/11/2009 22:28

SM, yes I know that, OP seems to think she is a friend, as far as I can see this woman is being boss first, not friend.

Original poster
muggglewump · 27/11/2009 23:48

I said becoming a friend, the replies make it sound like I said my very best ever friend or some such. She is boss first, I know that, she knows that, hence her asking me to work on a weekend day.

She was on the phone earlier, saying she'll pick me up and drop me off on Sunday. The actions of a decent boss at least. She doesn't have to do that. She regularly gives me and the others lifts after work too, when it's raining.
I also had October week off after only being there 6 weeks, and I have the week after next, both at short notice.
She's juggled the shifts so the other single Mum doesn't have to work Christmas day.
Just to show she's not an awful woman taking advantage so stupid as it may be, I wasn't averse to doing her a favour, and didn't really think it through properly before agreeing.

I am doing her the favour, but afasic, I get an extra day's pay as she has no idea about the CM fee.

The woman has done nothing wrong. Nor has my CM, I said that.

I will let her know the situation and my bet is that she'll be horrified and never ask me to do it again.

I won't approach CM either.

I put myself in this situation, it is my fault, not that of my boss, or my CM

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 28/11/2009 00:02

how you chose to arrange work your call.boss is never a friend,boss is the woman who meets targets organises shifts and staff.

you have seen all the posts.your call up to you what to do

good luck

Danthe4th · 28/11/2009 00:16

I'm not surprised she offers to pick you up, she knows how much you are paid and feels guilty, thats not friendship, you're being used.
Find a private cleaning job, or get agency work the pay is much better, or see if the 14 year old would babysit for £4 per hour,bit cheap but worth a try.

Original poster
muggglewump · 28/11/2009 00:34

Actually I don't think the pay would work out better, they just reduce your tax credits and a private job has no security.

Why would she feel guilty about my wages? She doesn't set them and I knew when I took the job. If that were the case she'd drive me every day.

How can she use me btw when I agreed, she has no idea what it means, and I accepted a 7 day a week job, even though my normal days are during the week?
Are all bosses users for asking staff to work?

I see no reason why we can't be friendly either. Best friends, probably not but friends? I think that's OK, so long as neither of us takes the piss with it at work. I'm the newest on that team, and she's same with everyone, I'd describe us all as friendly.
It's been commented on by Management that we work really well because of it, and there's no bickering the way there is between the Care Staff.
I'm pretty happy there, though of course I have the odd moan.
I count myself lucky to have a school hours job and a 16 hour contract.

Anyway, as I've said, my fault, I know I've been a bit daft, it won't happen again.

And for all that sounds a bit stroppy, I do appreciate the replies and I will talk to her and let her know that Sundays are a no go from now on.

OP posts:
butterscotch · 28/11/2009 00:52

mugglewump

I think everyone is concerned that you might get into Situation where it keeps happening to you!

Personally the approach I would take is in the car on the way into work I would say that your doing it this time but can't again as child care costs (I would plead ignorant to the extra costs initially if you don't want to offend/upset/want to limit the damage!)

and mention that its actually putting you out of pocket but you didn't want to let her down at the 11th hour!

Its very difficult to get a balance, I would be mortified if one of my team found themselves in that situation I would infact offer to do the shift for them rather than them be out of pocket! I think if you have a lone parent working for you with no support network (sounds like it as you say you have no friends to ask) then it would be very difficult to ask you to do different hours etc.... and the working directives these days on parents etc...

Would you not be better off trying to get a job at your DC's school? then it would be exactly the same hours and if you needed to take her in becuase you had to do extra hours it wouldn't be a problem?

In the current job market it is hard to move, but its always worth keeping an eye out for something better! I think you'd be better off as someone else suggested doing cleaning privately..........

scottishmummy · 28/11/2009 01:11

i pay my cleaner £10ph