To want to buy my own advent calendar for my DS?

[LittleOneMum]

OK, I am prepared to be flamed (dons flameproof jacket, and those goggle things which welders wear).

There is HISTORY to this before you get all judgy-pants. All my life, my Mum has bought me an advent calendar. In fact, it's lovely -wherever I have been in the world, she has managed to get one to me and this has continued right to the present day (I am 35). Bit sad I know, but makes me feel all warm inside when I get it, usually with a card that says "love from Mum xxx".

Anyway, so far so good. This was one of the traditions I was looking forward to starting with my own kids, along with decorating the Xmas tree etc. Last year DS was only 1, but this year he's 2 and old enough to understand, so we went to the shops together last weekend and picked one out together and he was so excited (he asks every day when he can open the first day). It was lovely.

Anyway, last night I get home and there is a parcel for DS and I open it and it's an advent calendar, all singing, all dancing chocolate thing from my Mum. Fine, I think, he'll have 2 (bit miffed, but whatever).

Then my Mum calls and says 'Has DS got his advent calendar yet?" and I said 'yes' and she said "Oh, I'm so excited about starting this tradition with him etc etc" to which i said "Mum, I'd like to buy him his advent calendar please in future - it's a nice Mum and DS thing to do" and she practically hung up with me in a huff! First she went quiet and then upset and then all quiet again.

Now, I know that it's all a bit odd to be upset about this, but AIBU? I wasn't nasty and didn't say I wanted to chuck it in the bin or anything - just explained that this was a tradition I wanted to have with my DS, like we had had. Maybe I'm being an old stingey-pants.

Does your mum still buy you one aswell as your DS ?

If not then you have the other one... If she does then he can have 2...

Shes a very thoughtful Grandma....
And he's a lucky DS and Grand DS.

And one day you'll miss her not sending them...

( my mum used to put a stocking on the end of my bed when ever I was at my parents for christmas, up till I was 28 ! )

Why is christmas fun only for children....

YABU but so am I because I feel a bit the same way. My mum always sends my boys advent calendars through the post. More often than not, they arrive damaged and I end up trying to fit the chocolates back in the right holes or just buying identical calendars to replace the damaged ones (which does have the advantage that I get to eat the spare chocolate ). Every year I tell myself it's a lovely, kind gesture by my Mum and she goes to a lot of trouble but there is always a teeny tiny part of me that would love to go out and choose calendars for the boys myself.

YANBU- but you should have had a quiet word around September time and not left it until she got one.

Can I just point out how lucky you are that your mum is still buying you an advent calendar? My mum decided one year that both my brother and I were now old enough to do without one, even though I was two years younger and I always felt cheated of at least two years' worth of calendars and very envious of friends who still got sent lovely home-made calendars in their twenties.
So even though I can understand you wanting to do special things with your DC I think your mum deserves a lot of credit for thinking of both you and your DS. Please try and make it up with her.

YAB a little bit U, but I know where you're coming from.

I think you need to call her and apologise tbh - explain that the reason you were so looking forward to starting the tradition with your ds was that the tradition she'd started with you means so much.

Then allow your ds to enjoy a new tradition of getting two calendars

My (late) mum used to buy ds a chocolate or otherwise flashy one, I'd buy something traditional and nativity-esque. No harm done at all.

My mum also still buys me an advent calendar (i'm in my 30's) and I wanted to do the same for my DC's. However, on DD's first xmas, she sent an advent calendar for both of us.

Yes, I was a bit miffed at first but then realised that it makes her happy and there are tonnes of other things that we could start. We also do the charity box, hanging stockings at the end of the bed, leaving mince pies etc out for santa and they always get new pyjamas and slippers for christmas eve that we go out and choose together.

Your mum sounds lovely and it is so not worth starting an arguement. Ring back, say sorry and blame PMT.

Oh please say sorry to you Mum. She sounds hurt. You are all just acting out of love for your ds.

My Mum made dd a beautiful advent tree last year with pockets, one that will last forever. I still have mine from being little. This year MIL has made one for dd too saying she felt 'outdone'. I just smile and nod.

I think if it is something you and your mum have always done that surely she will understand that you want to do the same with your own child. YANBU