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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that whispering to each other in the workplace is ridiculous?

10 replies

SerenityNowAKABleh · 26/11/2009 16:04

There are certain individuals I work with who do this constantly. They will go over to bestest buddy/boyfriend/girlfriend's desk and whisper and giggle to each other, all day.

AIBU to think this is ridiculous behaviour past the age of 14 and if you DO have something important but secret to tell someone, either go somewhere else or send an email? I'm sorely tempted to stand up at some point and say "do you mind sharing that with the rest of the class?"

Does my bloody head in.

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 26/11/2009 16:06

I have worked with people like this, always bitching and sniping about people and having secret conversations on internal phone/email/whispering.

YANBU

It is unsettling as well, makes you feel paranoid

SerenityNowAKABleh · 26/11/2009 16:11

Oh yes, very paranoid. Especially as they do the walk over, look around to make sure people are noticing them, then do lots of whispering. Some of these individuals are in their 40s. They should know better.

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 26/11/2009 16:14

Their 40s
At least the Mean Girls I was remembering were early 20s!

SerenityNowAKABleh · 26/11/2009 16:14

Yes. The two managers. In their 40s.

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 26/11/2009 16:15

Yes I too have worked with people like this, the majority of whom were just out of Uni - but a couple of whom were older women. Tis pretty pathetic, imo.

Minshu · 26/11/2009 16:34

Do they not have work to do? As a manager, I would have word if it was going on too much in my team. In fact, I have told people off for gossiping too much, in front of my boss . Aren't you glad you don't work for me?

SerenityNowAKABleh · 26/11/2009 16:42

Minshu, trust me, that would be WONDERFUL. It would be a dream come true

OP posts:
Asana · 26/11/2009 18:49

Ahem, to play Devil's advocate, I suffered a miscarriage last year (which happened whilst I was at the office) and only one person in my team [Colleague A] knew about it.

When I returned to work after a couple of days off, I realised that my being absent had meant a very important meeting which had taken months to set up with Colleague A had to be postponed as Colleague B who'd agreed to chair it on my behalf had not done so because she [in her words] could not be bothered to read the paperwork required.

When I got back to the [open plan] office, Colleague A and I were discussing the meeting and he asked me if I was actually supposed to be back so soon. I whispered to him that the doctor had said it was fine and apologised about the meeting having to be cancelled.

Colleagues B and C complained to my manager that, by whispering, I was having a private conversation in the office, it was "wrong" for me to do so and that, from what they had overheard, I had been having a dig at Colleague B (so I guess my whisper wasn't that much of a whisper - that, or they were deliberately eavesdropping).

Even after they found out what the background to that whisper was, they pursued it as a grievance and my manager [who resented the fact I'd been promoted to a deputy-type level to her] backed them up.

Suffice to say, I left that job exactly 28 days later. However, I'm pleased to say that whilst I went on to almost double my salary in my next post and move a rung up the career ladder, my manager and Colleague B were later fired for harassment and bullying (partly related to that incident).

Just so you know, not all whispers are designed to be childish or malicious ...

Minshu · 27/11/2009 12:58

Asana - I'm really sorry to hear about your loss and the problems you experienced in your former place of work. Glad that you are now in a better place.

I interpreted the OP's complaint to be about continuous whispering, rather than this kind of incident. Certainly the people I had to tell off were "giggly gossiping", while senior managers were walking through that part of the office (and at a time I was trying to justify maintaining the team size to minimise job losses). I wasn't bullying or harrassing them - they realised they were in the wrong and apologised immediately.

While we all need downtime during the working day, talking about footie, our weekend plans, whatever, there has to be a balance between that and getting on with what we're paid for. However, if there are serious personal issues going on, then we need the appropriate support of our colleagues.

Goodadvice1980 · 27/11/2009 15:46

Perhaps you should stare at your childish colleagues with wide eyes whilst whispering, "I still remember so vividly what I did to the last lot of people who did this" !!!

Wicked grin

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