to be terrified about going back to work

[mummysgoingmad]

Before i had my ds i was a student studing for a HNC in social care with a view to go and do my social work degree, then i found out i was pregnant and decided to cancel my plan to do my social work degree for a few years.
I have since decided thats not what i want to do anymore, but i do want to work. my DH works all the time and i was considering getting a part time job and putting ds into child care. but heres the thing...i'm terrified about joining the work force again. i think its a mix of leaving my son with someone else (ds has been really unwell lately and has been admitted to hospital with a viral weeze) and kinda the fear of the unknown. I can usually face my fears head on but this 1's got really panicy. i have been applying for jobs..even been offered a few but i cant bring myself to take them. whats wrong with me?? is this normal??

please be gental with me, this is the 1st time i have vocalised my fears!

p.s sorry for the long post

YANBU, you sound normal to me. I think you need to be very honest with yourself about what you want. Then work out what you need - do you absolutely have to get a job right now to make ends meet, or could you afford to stay at home for a while, or continue with your education, or could you put off working for a while until you feel more settled? Do you have a partner, and if so what do they feel about it?

Your DS has been quite poorly this winter, so is it an option to stay at home with him for the time being and make plans to apply for jobs say, in the spring when the worst of the winter viruses have gone? It sounds as though you won't have a problem finding work when you need it if you have already been offered several positions, which in the current economic climate is really good. This would also give you plenty of time to find someone or somewhere you are really happy with to look after DS.

If you can convince yourself that going back to work is a decision that can be changed if it isn't working out as you'd hoped, you may be less inclined to feel trapped and panic about it.

I am sure others will be here tomorrow to say that they felt the same, yet they went back to work and it was fine. I work for myself so my circs are a bit different to yours. Good luck whatever you decide.

Its so so normal. This is your first child and its all a bit overwhelming

will baby be ok
will childcare be ok
will they eat and sleep
will i be ok

So dont beat yourself up, I had the HV thinking I was a nutter as I went a bit crazy with the weaning , worrying he wouuld starve when I was at work!

So keep on trucking, and I think a PT job is perfect as it gives you a nice blend of work time and baby time

You are normal! good luck

Thanks, it makes me feel better knowing that i'm not the only 1 who has these fears. i honestly thought there was something wrong with me! other mothers i know seem to take going back to work in their stride..even looking forward to going back to work. Flock you hit the nail on the head, i cant decide what i want and ds being as unwell as he has been has made it worse.

You are completely normal. I went back when ds was 9 months. I was working from home, p/t, 2 minutes from the childminders and still hated it. Part time work when you are ready is the answer. Get your ds used to the childcare by taking him there for longer and longer periods, for a few days (like 1 hour, 3 hours etc - I did this for about a week) before you start work. That will be one less thing to worry about. My hairdresser went back to her job and had a panic attack in the car park as she felt so distraught. She is incredibly laid back and relaxed - not to make you more worried, just to say it is very normal. Worrying is your life from now on, mother
Have you worked before? It's a big deal if not, so it is understandable you will be worried. Voluntary work to start with perhaps - no pressure then? Probably not affordable though.