To ignore martyred expression and hand the frickin' kids over

[kif]

I've no childcare on Friday, and have to spend most of Saturday in a meeting. Dh has been home past midnight every day this week. Dd has an INSET day, and from ages back, my mum has been saying that it would be nice for her to have Dd and Ds for a long weekend. She emailed earlier this week to ask when she could pick up the kids (and by the way she;d caught a cold). Have had exchange of emails - each of which includes reference to the aforementioned cold (doc has prescribed some ABs, she worked from home today etc etc. ).

I asked her flat out if she was still OK with taking the kids. She came back with "yes, I'll be fine, since I know your normal childcare is not on on Friday".

I don;t really have time for melodrama at the moment (and my mum has previous of never saying what she means and adding chaos to the calmest situation). If my mum had said 'no' we would of course have worked around it . However, I'm tempted to start tuning out the comments about coughs and sore throats and just stick to the agreed plan. Presumably she's not so stupid as to take on the kids if she can;t handle them?

Or am I being utterly unreasonable and putting my family in a bad situation?

This time, I would be tempted to just hand them over... Sounds like she is doing it for attention.

But, in future, I think I'd work around her. She is probably saying she will take the kids in order to keep the attention on her (IYSWIM)... Makes her more important as she is 'helping' you.

YANBU - she has offered and still said yes when you asked outright.

I can't be doing with this sort of thing either.

Does she love to talk about her ailments? Maybe it's just her having conversation, and wanting a bit of poor me?

why are you cross?mum is still helping you out?she has a cold and talks about it,well most folk do when they are poorly.you are being mean to not expect her to mention a cold

i dont understand what the potential "melodrama" is.but only you know your mum and how this may pan out

My mum is exactly the same!

You ask her can she have the kids she either says 'Weeell I have xyz (normally an exercise class) but I could cancel..' thereby letting you know fine well that you are inconveniencing her but also easing her conscience by saying she could cancel.

Option B is to agree to have them and then continually ask you when you'll be picking them up.
In the 'When will you be picking them up - it's no problem whenever BUT if you're there by SomeEarlyAsPossibleTime I can go to xyz (normally an exercise class)

So YANBU take them anyway.

It's very irritating. Like someone offering a lift, and then saying "Gee, my eyes keep crossing today".

dont understand the relationship between crossed eye and getting a lift.

I have nothing useful to add but have just pmsl at the lift analogy.
I don't understand it either scottish mummy.

Hand the dc over with a pack of lemsips "in case she needs them"

Losh, you're getting free childcare and bitching about it? YABU.

The analogy: well, would you enjoy being the passenger if you thought your driver (maybe) couldn't see properly?

cant get what your beef is?sick gran watching your children and this irks you?why

love the cross eyes and lift,but dont get it.nonetheless v funny

Actually the Gran has been asking to have the dc for the long weekend and now it is happening Gran seems to be dropping hints that she isn't well enough/doesn't want to do it.

So is Gran may pull out at the last minute and drop op in a childcare dilema.

Is your mum my mum? YANBU, I've been ignoring all the drama and handing the kids over anyway.

They are normally in nursery but they've been off sick for a week. She agreed to look after them but calling every evening and asking if she has "to go through it all again tomorrow" . I simply say "yes, you do". She doesn't work anymore but didn't have any pension scheme so I pay her NI for her to get a small pension in few years. And has no other income than the family company that my husband and I work for. So the least she can do is some childcare 6 or 7 weeks a year, right?

By what you say about her never saying what she means, it sounds like she wants to play the martyr and you to be eternally grateful that she took on the kids although she was on her deathbed.

Ignore it. And don't ask her about her cold anymore, blank her when she mentions it, she might get the message

what is back up plan if gran cancels?friend?dh?
if you think she may be unwell think of a back up now then