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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that taking something that doesn't belong to you is stealing irrespective of what it is

60 replies

welshdeb · 25/11/2009 17:01

I am one of the few volunteers on my dc school PTA. We have little or no help from teachers to run any events except the summer fête.
We try to hold a disco every term where we sell penny sweets (aka haribo I am ashamed to say) and small bars of chocolate.
We keep our unused sweets and chocolate in the store room. We don't always have the same people helping so it's difficult to keep track of what's in there on an ongoing basis. However, I think it's obvious that the stuff isn't the school's as they only have fruit for tuck these days.
We have been noticing that our stocks aren't going as far as usual and head said yesterday that she had caught a teacher a few times coming out of the store room eating our chocolates. It seems this has been going on a while.
By the way us volunteers are always scrupulous in ensuring we always pay for anything we or our children have. In fact we don't ask for for any expenses like phone or paper ink laminating sheets etc
So AIBU to be pissed off with this teacher and to think if she did it in a shop it would be theft and the fact it it the pta's is irrelevant.

OP posts:
QandA · 26/11/2009 09:09

It is wrong for the teachers to help themselves and the Head should tell them. However, as you say, your view is coloured by the fact that you obviously feel some resentment that the teachers are not helping out more at PTA events.

'We have little or no help from teachers to run any events except the summer fête.'

I don't get this hard done by approach to teachers not giving up yet more time to PTA events, it is good if they can (and they do at the summer event) but, honestly,do you honestly think that they don't contribute more than enough in the day to day running of the school?

Then, they have to give up precious extra time with their families, or time when they could be preparing or marking, to attend a bbq, fair, quiz etc. Again, great if they can help and want to help but, I don't see where the resentment comes from.

llareggub · 26/11/2009 09:25

I think the teacher is wrong to take the sweets. I also however agree with QandA. I am not a teacher but I am rather surprised that you feel so angry that the teachers are not more involved in fundraising. It just isn't part of their job. I'd much rather they spend their time teaching and preparing materials and all the other paperwork they have to do.

I would also suspect that if they were going to do any fundraising it would either be for a charity of their choice or the school attended by their own children.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 26/11/2009 11:48

I thought the OP pointed out the lack of teacher support to illustrate the stealing point. If the OP had not mentioned that the teachers who were stealing were not PTA helpers, then everyone would have said "maybe they halp out a lot and feel they are entitled".

I don't think the OP sounds angry that they don't help.

expatinscotland · 26/11/2009 11:52

It's just basic lack of respect. A lot of people just can't seem to leave shit o that's not theirs the hell alone (or leave people who aren't bothering them alone).

alwayslookingforanswers · 26/11/2009 12:23

"It possibly didnt occur to the teacher that they werent there for public consumption. Where I work food left in 'public' areas is eaten by anyone who wants it."

Since when was a storeroom a "public area"???

BalloonSlayer · 26/11/2009 13:09

What does PTA stand for?

Original poster
welshdeb · 26/11/2009 15:54

Ok I don't want to give out too much info in case anyone identifies me but all the money we raise goes back to the school and we have bought specific equipment and resources for classes so teachers do benefit from our fund raising.

We could all have the " why should I bother" attitude I am not trying to be a martyr but I work I have more than 1 dc and have outside interests and committments yet I give up 1 evening a month . Is my time any less valuable than the teachers just because I am a parent?

OP posts:
Berrie · 26/11/2009 16:05

It's not about whether your time is less valuable. But they are your children. The teachers may have children and their schools to dedicate time to?

sarah293 · 26/11/2009 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Berrie · 26/11/2009 16:11

And also, the equipment is not for the teachers, ultimately it's for the children.

Hassled · 26/11/2009 16:14

I would be really really hacked off by this. Quite aside from the moral/stealing issue, it shows an attitude that if it's PTA then it doesn't matter. And fair enough if she feels that way, but very unprofessional to actually show it.

Original poster
welshdeb · 26/11/2009 16:17

Ok maybe I am being unreasonable expecting teachers to help the PTA events.

I think the majority of you think I am not being unreasonable expecting teachers not to help themselves to our sweets and chocolates.

OP posts:
cat64 · 26/11/2009 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

itsmeolord · 26/11/2009 16:23

If a child was helping themselves to that box of goodies whilst going in the storeroom for something at a teachers request, I'm sure said child would be read the riot act about stealing.
Why should a teacher be any different.

It's not about the value of an item, it's about the moral aspect.

YANBU.

thumbwitch · 26/11/2009 16:30

If it's in a box, if it's already labelled PTA, then it's stealing.

If it's in a box that's open and not labelled PTA then I can see cat64's point - but I would, if it were me, ask in the staffroom if anyone knew who the sweets belonged to before helping myself.

Balloonslayer - if you really don't know - PTA = Parent- Teachers Association - but I feel that you might have been being provocative

wannaBe · 26/11/2009 16:42

can't believe that people seem to think this is ok.

Penny sweets or not is irelevant - the teacher took something that didn't belong to her. Would it be ok for a teacher to help themselves to money in the same way? 10p here, 20p there? If not then it's no different.

Original poster
welshdeb · 26/11/2009 16:49

To cat64 yesterday I did say yesterday in my post that the chocolates are in opened packaging but inside the PTA box. This box is like a big cool box with a lid although its not lockable. It's also labelled. So it's not like they are on display in there in fact she has to have a good old root round to find them.

OP posts:
alwayslookingforanswers · 26/11/2009 16:57

cat64 - would the teachers at the schools your worked at have gone into a storeroom and taken food that was for the school tuck shop??

thumbwitch · 26/11/2009 17:16

sorry welshdeb, didn't see that you had said the box was labelled. Then it is definitely stealing. And should not be condoned.

BalloonSlayer · 26/11/2009 18:45

Thank you Thumbwitch.

I really wasn't taking the piss, honest . I was asking for clarification because I was about to post and say that as PTA stands for "Parent-Teacher Association" surely the OP is not being unreasonable for expecting some support and help from the teachers. Otherwise it should be called the PA.

Then I had a crisis of confidence and worried that maybe it wasn't called that after all and I'd make myself look a tit. As usual...

QandA · 26/11/2009 19:48

We could all have the " why should I bother" attitude I am not trying to be a martyr but I work I have more than 1 dc and have outside interests and commitments yet I give up 1 evening a month . Is my time any less valuable than the teachers just because I am a parent?

No, of course your time is not less valuable, but you give 1 evening per month to support the school. Teachers work full time continuously supporting the school, going to weekend events for festivals, special events etc, Parents' evenings, marking work at home, staff meetings, governor meetings, all these can take a chunk of family time. And as other people said, they then have to balance going to their own child's school events!

You should see any help as a bonus, rather than feel resentment because the teachers just can't fit any thing else in. As you say, they did help at the summer fair, how many more events do you expect them to attend?

Schools are not a charity, and PTA fundraising provides extra resources, not vital life saving equipment Put it in to perspective.

Still agree that stealing the sweets is wrong though

cat64 · 26/11/2009 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

alwayslookingforanswers · 26/11/2009 23:01

but if they did have a tuck shop would it have been ok for staff to go into the storeroom where the food was kept and take some if they felt like it?????

curiositykilledhaskittens · 26/11/2009 23:07

Clearly it is not a nice thing to do. I think there are worse things though. If the head has caught people doing it why hasn't she addressed the problem herself? Seems mental that she hasn't at least told the staff in question that they are not sweets that can be eaten by the teachers or at most disciplined them for it in some way.

edam · 26/11/2009 23:12

PTA fundraising provides vital extra resources in ds's school and I'm sure in many others. Our school budget only leaves 3% for spending on anything other than staff or premises - without the PTA there would be very few books, no computers and no playground equipment.

The teacher who is nicking the sweets from a clearly labelled coolbox in a store room should be ashamed of herself. Don't think she'd be very impressed if the parents wandered into the staff room and started tucking into the biscuits, would she?

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