we eloped after 19 years together.

[pippylongstockings]

I am fuming today after a long discussion via text with my best friend.
My DP and I eloped at the weekend - it was my 40th birthday and we have ben together 19 years. We told no-one until we did it. Everyone has been very happy for us, said it suited us to do it this way. We have very little money and just wanted it to be for ourselves.
I rang my BF when we got back and she was happy enough on the phone but her husband refused to speak to me - saying clearly to her 'I heard what they have done - I don't want to speak to them anymore!'

So today I jokingly texted her to say is he still in a sulk? And I got a reply that he was sad for her that she has missed out on her best friends most memorable, joyous, happy, wonderful, loving, surreal once in a lifetime wedding.

I said sorry you feel that way, nothing to be sad about it was our wedding our way & we wanted a low key 7minute deal.

She texted 'It just hurts and always will'

Several text's back and forth later have ended with her telling me that I should care not about what people think and that there is nothing to be happy about if there was no meaning behind the wedding. And with me saying she needs to deal with her feelings herself and not lay blame at my door.

Surely part of being a friend is knowing when to leave things un-said. If she feels upset with me then talk it over with her husband and moan behind my back. Making my wedding about her feelings is just being very intoverted.

I got married, not in the way she wanted but how I wanted AIBU ?

YANBU. My best friend did this although I knew before hand that she was going to do it as did her family. Yes I felt a little bit hurt as I would have liked to be there to share it with her. Does she know that? Of course not because she is my friend and it was actually the most sensible way for her to do it (long complicated reasons). It really doesn't matter what I feel surely and I am shocked your friend would behave this way and even more shocked her husband does (I have never heard of any man being unhappy because they weren't invited to a wedding!!! Bizarre!)

Mazzy unfortunatly yes they have been drama queens in the past.

The last time was over a mutual friends stag & hen do. My BF and her hubby live 2 hours away and don't see the mutual friends very often. The stag/hen do was a very low key affair as they wanted it to be, but we got it in the neck that they were not invited! Can you see a theme here ? Clearly weddings should be avoided.