to be totally fed up at the prospect of christmas

[gingernutlover]

just found out dh will be working every weekend from now up til end of january at least,. with no extra pay just lots of extra stress

he's also got hardly anytime off at christmas

he wont be coming to the panto - cos of work now - dd's first one

his buisiness partner has just jetted oof to thailand tho!

dd has been given star role in nurseyr play and there will be noone to watch her, i am a teacher so cant take days off and dh had the day booked off but now ...

got FIl coming for xmas dinner, probably just so he can enjoy a day of gingernutlover bashing

My mum keeps saying how she will have dd to give me a rest, let me go xmas shopping but she wont set a date, she's just got back from 2 months abroad (one of many trips)

my life is just so full of day to day crap, i never get to do anything nice or get any time off for myself, I can feel the depression coming back and I dont care to be honest, I fantasis about walking down the road and never coming back

right rant over, off to do another load of washing, just hoping maybe I'm not the only one feeling like I dont give a toss whether xmas comes or not

How about you & your daughter going away?

we can't afford it, and to be honest being away from home with a 4 year old on your own is extremely hard work, so unsure how that would help?

but thankyou for trying to help and for reading my rant LOL

ah "glad" soimeone else has that same feeling, although to be honest I realsie I am probably being unreasonable and self pitying compared to you Riven, at least my mother wont be there and there are no teenagers in theis house well there will be a 12 year old step sister in law but she's pretty tame.

I know I should be grateful that he has any time off over xmas. But my overwhelming feeling is liek you said Riven "It'll just be more shit than normal"

Well, it probably wouldn´t if it would be hard work

Is your husband with you Chistmas Day or just you & FIL?

Is it just the thought of Christmas making you depressed or other things as well?

Can you get your daughter involved in the "day to day crap" that needs doing, to try to make a game of it, or would that just make it seem harder work?

What age of children do you teach?

Is it not possible to organise work in advance to leave with them whilst yo pop to your daughters play?

"I fantasis about walking down the road and never coming back"

yup me too YANBU all this crap about yohoho enjoying xmas time - I agree it'll just be more shot than usual!

I teach reception age children, its their last day of term that the play is on.

I dont get annual leave as a teacher, am not allowed to take time off for things like this. I am heartbroken about not seeing her anyway and was so glad when dh said he would take an afternoon so she wouldnt have noone there.

Oh and no, dh does have xmas day off so pleased about that. He had 10 days booked off at xmas since I only get school holidays off we were going to do some nice things with dd. Now he has 1 day.

We have FIL, step MIL and step SIL coming for xmas day. And if I get asked one more time if I am helping dh with dd I will scream.

the day to day crap is that I do almost all the child care except for the days I work, all the housework, all the cooking, all the laundry, all the xmas shopping, all the nursery runs and I work 3 days a week where I am getting a shit load of stuff shoved at me extra to my normal job, being expected to regularly go in on days off etc, thats why it grates so much that i cant have an hour to see dd's play

And after i do all that I get told its not good enough by people at work and by people like FIL

I have been feeling increasingly down for a couple of moths, counting the days til the end of every week, watching the clock til bedtime, and crying a lot. I can't get interested in anything, I cant lose the spare tyres i have round my waist and honestly, that running away is something i think about on a daily basis at least

if you work 3 days a week could you not swap days that week so you could see your daughters play-or beg the head for an hour to go, have you asked them ? Im a teacher too and Im sure there must be a way.

You do sound very down , do you think a trip to the doctors would be helpful ?

Hope things get better soon

Riven you should tell her to fuck off to church if she wants to be with Jesus and give you some peace

Is it possible to have a few minutes a day just for you?

Something to look forward to & keep you going?

Could you get anyone in to help with the cleaning until things seem better to you?

Do you have someone you could talk to about how you feel.

What about just you & dd for xmas. Make a straight forward meal, watch tv, play with the pressies. Your dd wont mind you're not at the xmas show - ask her all about it afterwards & say how proud you are.

if i go to the docs he will suggest antidepressants again (I had PND and was on them then)

in my experience the pills made me find it easier to hide the way I was feeling, so I looked better to everyone else but did nothing to make me feel better on the inside.

I feel at times that I hate my life

that made me laugh about rivens mum though LOL

Christmas has a delightful way of bringing out the best in the relatives. My PIL are fucking dissappearing off on a month long cruise and I couldn't be happier .
Is there anyone you could ask to video the performance for you and then have a "cinema screening" one evening with you DD and DH? Get some popcorn and choc and make a big fuss?
Make Christmas as easy as poss. I'm getting in frozen potatoes as the ones I got for quick teas for the children were MILES better than mine

can i join you and run away...i have always hated christmas as i have such a small family and Xmas gets built up to be this amazingly happy time of the year.
Its so full of falsness and present giving to people who might give you a present.
Is that cynical or what.
I would just rather go away skiing or on a desert island.

I have no happy childhood menmories of christmas except for my now deceased mums lovely christmas dinner. i was surrounded ny an alcoholic father and a sexually abusive step brother ,so xmas was horrible.
I love xmas dinner with my own DS's and i always ask them what they would like for xmas and they always say just your dinner mum(which is lovely) but basically xmas for us is xmas dinner and that is it!

So much expense for so much commercialism