to think that "bitch slap" isn't an appropriate term to use with your 9yr old DD?

[ElizabethWakefield]

DD (just turned 9) has a mobile phone that she mostly used during the summer holidays so I could check where she was and tell her when to come home etc.

Her dad (xp) has started texting her recently and I hadn't really paid much attention. Last night she asked me to read something out on her phone and I noticed that almost all the text messages sent by her dad contain the word bitch-slap.

So, not sure I am over reacting, but I think that is a bizarre term to use with your 9 yr old dd.

It was mainly thinks like, "your mum said you had hurt yourself at school, who did it? You should bitch slap them" and "I heard you got a great report at parent's night, just as well or I would be bitch slapping your teacher"

I text him to ask him not to use the term with DD. This was last night, and he has just phoned DD to ask her why I was reading messages in her phone.

I'm probably next on his bitch-slapping list now

I don't like the term used with a 9 year old but I'm not sure I would make a huge fuss. I think it's fine that you read things on her phone as well...she is 9!

I would make a huge fuss. Its completely inappropriate, and of course you should be monitoring her phone.

A parent who says they would hit a teacher if she didn't get a good report? Nice.

Tell him you will be removing the phone from her if he sends any more messages using such language and advocating violent behaviour.

And make a note of these texts too.

I'm not planning on making a big fuss, I just want him to know that it's not the kind of thing I want him saying to her and if he can't text her properly he shouldn't bother!

He is an idiot so should be expected really!

DD knows that I will look at her phone, in the same way she knows she can only use the PC if I can see what she is doing etc

Not exactly fatherly, is it? I hate the phrase anyway. And saying he would bitch-slap a teacher if your daughter got a bad report? That makes me angry, even if he was trying to be 'funny'.
I would be making a large fuss about this.

No, it's not fatherly at all is it.

I'm actually really annoyed about it, but wont make it into a big deal for now. I've asked him to stop, hopefully he will.

Thanks all, always good to have others agree.

I think it's absolutely vile tbh. If he did it again, I would change her number and not tell him. It is utterly, horribly inappropriate and if he can't see that, then he's a pillock.

I can see why he is your ex

Yeah, it's obvious why he is my ex

As I say she hasn't used the phone since summer, it's only in the past few weeks that he has been texting, so if it continues I'll just put the phone away again, as she has no real need for it.

And hope that he speaks to her normally when he is with her.....

Dear Lord, he sounds like he needs a lecture on being a Dad. It's totally inappropriate . No excuse for it at all.

Thanks, I know he thinks I am over-reacting, so nice to see others agree with me