to wince at the term 'bright' applied to children?

[MrsGuyofGisbourne]

Because the corollary is that a child that is not deemed 'bright' is presumably 'dim'. Do people say 'bright' to be coy when they mean clever? Or is it shorthand for the child that is not clever in any measurable sense, but has outstanding qualities (visible only to its parents).
This rant has come about because two canny snake oil saleswomen authors are giving a talk at Ds's school this week, (or next - I won't be there. so haven't bothered to check date) to sell their book which about something like 'how to recognise and challenge the bright child' Clever stuff, of course 'cos presumably all the paretns who think their child is 'bright' (which is probably everyone) will turn up to preen about their outstanding brat prodigy and pay the cash for an autographed copy. Which leads me to think - the child may be 'bright' (cringe emoticon required)- but the parents cetainly ain't...

this is a british thing which I've always found odd - smart yes, clever, yes, intelligent, yes

but never bright
or forwards (shudder at that expression)

but I don't think people are trying to be coy or smug about anything and of course if your offspring are never described as bright it doesn't follow that they are dim - surely it's a continuum?

but I don't get your rant
but rant away, this is the place

I say "bright," but not to imply that others are dim! It's more of a character thing. I would say DS2 is bright, because he's so wide eyed and into everything and so curious. Like most 10 month olds.

I do get what you mean about implication - it can be so subtle. A relative said to me the other day (re DS2) "oh, you won't have trouble with this one, he's not slow." DS1 standing right there...

I have heard teachers using the word at school. I don't think it's a problem. It doesn't have to have the opposite "dim" - a child could be "average" as well.

YABU it is a normal everyday word and it means that the child is clever.

Dim is also a perfectly normal word, although probably impolite to use when describing a child to its parents. The other converse would be dull, which is our of fashion now in this context but my granny used it to mean a person who wasn't very, well, bright!

I hate 'gifted' yuck.

'Gifted and Talented' is worse than gifted - ick. Its so clumsy. DS is apparently G&T whoop whoop! I got a laminated card with a website address on it because of this (I may frame it).

I dont like bright as in 'of course she is terribly bright, they just dont know what to do with her' when applied to a child who wrecks her way around the nursery whilst spitting at other children.

I think its worse when applied to women though. I dont think I have ever heard it used to describe a man's intellect. Its usually said in a suprised why 'oh you are quite bright really arent you?' No you git, I am clever. Can you guess its been used to decribe me? .

Bright's okay as a word. To me it sort of encompasses 'alert' and 'sharp'.

I'm clearly quite thick as I don't understand the point.

It's just a word that means clever isn't it? All parents also think their children are clever don't they?!

My son who has global developmental delays, I still firmly believe that when he catches up he will be clever!!

But that's not so bad is it? I wouldn't queue up to buy some book about clever children though. I'm clever enough to hold on to my money.

My dc1 is clever and teachers have told me and used the word intelligent (does that outrank bright?!) but she also has problems concentrating and chatting too much and not listening. So she may as well have the brains of a merely bright child who can focus and apply herself.

Chegirl I had a nauseating flatmate once (pilot) loved himself, such a nob. He said that his girlfriend was the most intelligent woman he knew. I instantly said woman or person, and he thought about it and said 'woman'. He was exactly the sort to apply a different category of labelling to women. PUKE.

paisley, yes, that's how I understand it aswell. Alert and sharp is not bad all said and done. YOu can be intelligent and stare out the window for 14 years.

'Gifted and talented' makes me want to spit. Gifted - yes (as long as they are of course), talented - absolutely. But gifted
and talented?

In my mind, one can be clever without necessarily being bright. To me, "bright" includes a particular kind of animation/interest in learning- being open to new experiences and challenges. On the other hand, one could be clever in an academic sense but dull and plodding at the same time.

People do over-use the term "bright" I think. And there seem to be very few people on here (and witin my group of friends IRL) who don't consider their child to be bright. Where are all the average children hiding?

Nothing wrong with bright.

It's not a terribly precise word so I agree that the authors are trying to cash in. But that's their job.

YABU. It's just a figure of speech.

OFGS! We can't say G&T, we can't say bright, what can we say? How do you describe a child who is different to his peers? Are we to ignore them and not treat them any differently, not meet their needs, because doing so offends parents of those who are nearer the middle point of the curve?

Yes, all children are bright, even those with learning disabilitities or developemental delay, because they bring light to their parents' hearts.

As for the book and talk, if it about this book, and the speaker is CJ Simister, then I highly recommend that you go, open your mind, and listen. She is fantastic, and her book is too.

Ok good points made about the word bright being not such a bad description (still only for kids though). I think its the use of it that has become annoying. When I think of it being (in my head) said its always in a loud, strident tone describing a perfectly charming but ordinary child. This obviously does not apply to everyone who uses it (as illustrated on this thread).

DS2 isnt 'intelligent' and has a low IQ but he is 'bright' in the sense that he is sparky and interested in things. I dont think I can bring myself to use it to describe him though.

Bright as a button.

Nothing wrong with that

I have no problems with the word 'bright' btw. My issue with gifted and talented' as a single descriptor is that gifted and talented are two different things.

Now that is true. Definitely. And so indeed are some of their parents

I was told by another parent that DS had special maths lessons. Not by DS, and not by the school, by another parent.

I have used bright to describe my two, not because I think that they are any cleverer than any other children, but because they are curious and interested in everything around them. It's just a 'generic' word, I guess.

As a teacher, and a parent, I have learned that labels, whether gifted, disabled, average, etc. don't do children a whole lot of good. It sets them up for negative competition, pressure, bullying and stress. It separates them from their peers. Of course not everyone is the same, and I knew that in a classroom...I just never treated any of them differently, just tweaked things here and there to match learning styles. That's how it should be, IMO.

Wow TFM...

My slightly adhd dd has some extra classes when she doesn't listen/chats too much. But they called me in and explained it all very sensitively to me, in a way that made me feel that they were on top of things. Ok they'd identified a problem wiht her behaviour but they had a plan to try and resolve it...

If another parent had told me,,,, I would have been much more upset. And then angry I think.