To be pissed off with my SIL and BIL

[StrictlyBoogying]

We're at a night-time wedding on Friday night and my DH is best man. My BIL and SIL are also going.
We booked my MIL weeks ago to have our two DDs (almost 3 and 6 months) overnight at her house since the wedding will probably go on very late.
Today, my SIL called my MIL and said to expect their two kids too. (10 and 15)
My MIL is extremely nice and helpful and didn't like to say no but asked my SIL where she thought they could all sleep. My MIL has a small two bedroomed house. She suggested the baby in a travel cot as planned, our toddler sharing my MIL's bed, her 15 year old daughter in the bedroom and the 10 year old on a pull down bed in the downstairs box room.
I feel awful that my 75 year old MIL is being left with all 4 Grandchildren and without even enough beds. Our DDs have only ever been left with her or my Mum who's on holiday.
I offered to my MIL that I try to find someone else but realistically there isn't anyone else. MIL is very shy and softly spoken and would never challenge my SIL who I can tell she is scared of/doesn't like.
I'm considering not going to the wedding.
WWYD?

They asked, you asked.

She said yes to both of you.

Can't see why you're pissed off with them.

Not much help but this sounds just like my sil, she does this all the time, last time invited herself on holiday with mil fil me ds and dd, then she bought her friend with her so dc and dd didn't have a bed?!? mil doesn't say anything because sil flys off the handle as soon as you say no to her.

I would say somthing to sil tell her that you don't think she is being fair on mil

Don't worry- I'd slip the 15 yr old a tenner and ask if she'd help out with the bath time etc. Give your MIL some help- the older kids will probably be help to her and thats prob why your SIL suggested it.

I would suggest both teens camp in the lounge, sofa nd blow up bed, so the younger ones are upstairs and dont have to share with Granny and kick and snore all night keeping her awake. I would then do as Pippa suggests and relax, all will be well. It is unfair of SIL but they may all have a memorable fun time mucking in together.

YABU - SIL could be saying exactly the same about you, couldn't she?

But I do wonder: why can't the 15yr old look after the 10yr old at home?

I'm sure it would be okay. I think it's my SIL's blatant disregard for anyone but herself that's bothering me. I'm sure my MIL doesn't really mind but four children is a lot of work for anyone let alone someone in her 70s. My SIL asks at short notice knowing that my MIL is too nice to say no. But, when I offered to my MIL that I tried to find alternative childcare she took me up on it.

I don't think it has to be a problem. Surely the two older cousins can help Granny with the younger ones?

I agree that a blow up bed in the lounge for the two elder DC would be better.

VIVIA - The 15 year old is a bit of a handful and I'm not she she could be trusted to stay at home with the 10 year old and not go out and get drunk.
My SIL couldn't say the same about me...We gave MIL weeks of notice. Also, if I called and found out she already had two overnight I never would have presumed she'd have mine too - especially without enough beds. I'm also trying to think of an alternative which she isn't!

Mmmm a 10 and 15 year old aren't much of a problem - it's hardly tiring work "looking after" them! If they were younger it'd be different. I think your MIL would be busy looking after your toddler and baby, the other two would just hang around the house without needing any minding. So I think YABU to be pissed off with your BIL and SIL, they would have thought that it's not much more hassle to her to have two older children. You could ask to change the sleeping arrangements as others have suggested.

YABU - It sounds as if you're assuming that your kids are a dream to babysit and your SIL's kids are a nightmare. Perhaps Grandma is relieved the the 15 yo will be there to help?

If you want an exclusive babysitter, you'll likely need to pay for one. Do you pay your MIL to babysit?

Don't see why it's a problem. if a 70 something year old is considered capable enough of looking after children aged 3 years and 6 months then a couple of added teenagers shouldn't be much of a problem.

You seem to think she's not capable, so why ask her to take your two?

What's the big deal about not enough beds? Can't children sleep on the floor these days? Surely the 10yo and 15yo can cope with that?

Of course I have no idea what your SILs children are like, but most people would think having a 10yo and a 15yo round to stay would be a walk in the park compared to looking after a baby and a toddler.

OP - I wasn't trying to have a go, I didn't know (as you said later) that your SIL has a 'blatant disregard for everyone else' - that must be a bit awkward for you in many different instances. It sounds like there's a backstory here.

Thank you. It's really interesting to see a different perspective.
I suppose I do think my kids are easier than the others. I'll put them down at her house and they both sleep through until 7.30.
I wish the 15 year old would help but she won't...I'm not sure I'd trust her anyway!
I've never slept on the floor in my life but if the kids don't mind then why should I?
I think I'll just try to make it as easy as poss on my MIL and make dinner for her and my niece and nephew to take round...maybe I'll buy her a wee pressie too.