to leave the DDs to work at home alone for the next 10 days?

[EccentricaGallumbits]

Seconday school. DDs 11 and 13. They have the next 10 days off as the school is moving into a new building. They have work to do at home. I am working. DH is working. They will have to get on with it alone.
Is this reasonable?

Have you got a really big box? Might be able to post the 11 year old off somewhere - Beirut? Moscow? Islamabad?

Then I would get the 13 year old arrested for fraud. really big fraud that would put her at high risk of absconding so she's banged up.

That should sort things I think.

they go through phases of not getting on. probably something to do with hormone surges at the same time or something. this is a particularly vile phase - they can't be in the same room without sniping and bickering and each and every time one says something the other thinks it is her job to be hideously unpleasent to the other.

also remember i am a shite parent so it is all my fault. you'll probably be fine.

Hully - they won't fit in the freezer whole. will bits do?

The school are taking the piss big time IMO. 10 days to move from one building to another ? - Who's doing the moving - midgets are us ? My sister and I would have murdered each other at that age.

Bits will be fine. A nail gun and a pritt stick will put them back together in no time.

am liking the big box idea.

alternatively - would it be unreasonable for me to give them each a tenner and the one who gets furthest away wins?

Do you think you could tell them seperately that the zombies are coming and then one could spend the next ten days in the attic and one in the cellar. Both quivering and avoiding all human contact lest their brain is eaten? Might that work?

Not so good if they unite, decide you are a zombie and implement the anti-zombie protocol they got from a particularly frank episode of Blue Peter.....

Maybe you should hide the knives - and the axes - before you mention this.

Probably needs to be a twenty if you want them overseas.

the school is taking the piss
i would of killed my sister
completly normal teenage behaviour tho
i have several scars inflicted by my sister as she does from me

lock them both in their rooms with food, let them out when you get home

It's true what they say then. DD's are divine as babies/toddlers but revenge comes when they are in their teens...

having hurt each other and made each other cry they are now both a bit subdued and watching TV together.

If things get broken I will be charging the school. bastards. their excuse is that they can't do it over christmas because the world stops for a week then. they were supposed to be ready in september but the bastard builders hadn't finished on time.

I am going to need a lot of wine and MN support over the next 10 days.

my sister cut my head open by throwing a badminton racket at me once!

You could probably grass yourself up to SS (anonymously) and get them taken into care? Or put their fingerprints on a baseball bat (pretend it's an art project and earn yourself some good mummy points), then lob said baseball bat through the window of a bank, and (anonymously) call Crimestoppers.

I have three sisters and we weren't like that at all. [smug face].

Buy a bumper pack of Valium off internet, crush a few up and mix into their drinks each morning before you leave for work. Not enough to kill them (unless they're really playing up) but enough to induce a light coma. Problem solved.

now they are shouting at each other again.

FUCK.

...at tsc booby trapping her bed before she went on a retreat

My sister threw a hairdryer at my head.

I have sympathy (are these posts about sisterly violence helping?!)

marking place. Arfing.

Me and my sister left to our own devices once pulled huge hods of each others' hair out over a dispute on the relative merits of Duran Duran (on the music centre- ahem) and horseracing (on the telly)

...but now we're the Best Of Friends!!

HTH!!

i bit my sister once. she was wearing a thick school blazer, jumper & shirt. i still left teeth marks, even through that lot

i also remember getting a kitchen knife & threatening to cut her up if she didn't let me run away - i had my sleeping bag & teddy bear at the ready. i was about 8!!

is this turning into a 'sister haters anonymous'?

we get on fine now!

I would have killed my sister. Even now we can't be left together unsupervised!

However if you add my mother into that we're 100 times worse, if that makes you feel better.

I'll come and be vile to them if you like. I do an excellent line in making children sit down and work.

I've got the Derren Brown programme on video where he hypnotises everyone at home, just don't show them the bit at the end where he 'releases' you off the sofa

I am saving this to try on my children

Set them targets - behaviour, amount of work done etc. to be reviewed every evening.

If targets are missed at the end of 10 days - Christmas is cancelled....

I for one would be hugely relieved not to have to do festive this year - so it could be a winning formula all round.