To let this drop (re bad birth experience)

[Knownowt]

Sorry, this is all just a bit of a release of steam- I realise that noone can answer my qeustion.

My son was born 3 years ago and is perfectly healthy. I am thrilled to be his mum, happy with my life and have had another daughter since then (v different birth experience).

However, I still get horrible flashbacks and periods of anxiety about my son's birth- my labour was induced and took 3 days, there were no beds available in the ward so I spent 2 days in a corridor, my notes were lost between the corridor and the labour ward so noone knew how long I'd been in labour (until I managed to explain, at which point it was red light, get this baby out now etc), ventouse machine switched on too early so that it sucked my poor old bits, not the baby's head (the doctor actually came back in afterwards to apologise for this and it was pretty dreadful in terms of pain). My son then had to be be resuscitated, which was a million times worse than any of the above.

Anyway, I realise that's in many ways a normal labour -lots of people end up without a bed or with mistakes happening. However I can't stop thinking about it. I know people sometimes have a debrief about their experiences- do you think 3 years later is too long? Will I just be wasting everyone's time?

No you should have a debrief if you want one. Don't worry about wasting people's time. It's obviously still affecting you if you're having flashbacks.

That sounds like a traumatic experience, so it's not surprising you're still reacting to that.

These people may be able to help:
www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/

2 days in a corridor - especially when you were induced. That is awful, I can't believe the NHS is allowed to get away with this sort of crap

Although complaining wont actually change the experience you had I found that complaining helped me to put it behind me as it felt as though I had "done" something.

I complained about the midwive in the day unit because I had gone in a couple of times over a week or so because I had felt very unwell. They sent me home each time without doing any real checks as they were busy even though I couldnt breathe, was coughing and was having stomach pains.
After a few days of this I started coughing so badly I was coughing up blood, I was dizzy and swelling up like mad. I wen in again at about 7pm one day and again they told me I was fine and they were closing. I sat down and told them I wasnt going until I had seen a doctor.

The doctor tested my blood pressure which was sky high and my urine which showed alot of protein and sent me straight to the labour ward to have my son as I had severe pre eclampsia. The docotr actually told me that if I had gone home that night he couldnt say whether me and the baby would have actually survived.

I complained about the midwives at the day unit. Nothing happened I got an apology BUT in the next year the staff and organization of the unit were totally changed and when I got pregnant the next time the midwife I ahd told me it was because of the sheer number of complaints.