Bloody pregnancy tests!!

[juicyjune]

Am i being unreasonable in cursing those damned tests that appear to be able to tell a woman she is pregnant (and by how many weeks, don't forget..!) practically before she has even LOOKED at a man?!!
I lost a pregnancy at ten weeks- it was messy, painful and scary. I shudder when my younger colleagues start shoving scan images in my face, and demanding 'no lifting' when they are all of 3 days past a missed period...?! What is that all about then, eh?

Really sorry to hear about your loss. I lost one the week before last at 7 weeks and one March last year at 6 weeks. It is awfull and comes back to bite you when ever others around are pregnant. Last year I found out a few days later that a friend was a few weeks ahead of me and so her baby is around the same age mine would of been and this year I found out the same day that another friend was a few weeks ahead, so her baby will be around the same age as mine would of been. It is hard but you have to allow others their joy as pregnancy is an amazeing time and you can't blame them for being so happy. They do not mean any harm they are just excited and protective towards their new life.

Hmmmmmm, not sure i agree. I tthink the tst set them up for disappointment, especially as a significant number of pregnancies end in the early days.

Do you mean that we shouldn't be able to find out if we are preg so early? Cos...nature usually lets us know fairly quickly...I don't really get your point, sorry.

Oh, but I do get it about being too excited in the early stages, given how common and how awful MC is. Thing is, until it has happened to you you will never think it will happen, and it's a bit miserable to spend the first 3 (or 6, or 9) months of your pg expecting it to go wrong.

Nobody could have talked me out of being excited with my first pg, and I wish I hadn't been so anxious and negative with my 2nd.

I did not have a pregnancy test the 2nd MC just new I was pregnant (made it jolly hard to convince the docs I was miscarring though esp as I have a coil in). In all my pregancies (5 now) I have known 1 week past ovulation that I was pregnant (in pregnancy no. 4 I was to big around the middle for my regular clothes at 1 week past ovulation), but I still had to wait another 1 week to take a test. So pregnancy test or no pregnancy test it doesn't change the feelings of disappointment of a MC.

I have had 4 miscarraiges and I have three children. Each time I have been excited and told people and yes done early tests!. Personally I like the fact I did this and things like each baby has a little teddy which is bought when we find out and then taken to the hospital for the baby. I love that I have this little reminder of our lost babies even though we dont have them. People deal with things differently but not being excited and not wanting to know I am pregnant would to me seem to somehow try and deny the presence however brief of my babies.

Not saying this is the right way to think its a very personal thing but I can understand people wanting to know early and being over excited !

I think finding out a week before the menstrual cycle is too early - chemical pregnancy is SO common and leads to so much disappointment.

I think it's ridiculous how early you can announce you are pregnant these days, especially, as previous poster said, the majority of early pregnancies result in miscarriage.

In the past, most of these would have been regarded as late periods, 'near misses' and, regarded thus, would cause much less emotional turmoil and upheaval.

I personally don't think about announcing my pregnancy and making plans un til I've missed my second period.

I lost my very first baby at 10 weeks gone, announced first 2 at 12 weeks gone, then 3 and 4 did not announce until I had no choice - DS2 managed to tilt my womb backwards which means I dont really show properly till 7ish months - just look fat till then.

Sorry for your loss by the way.

I do see your point but also think you are being a bit unreasonable to deny women the excitement of pregnancy.

Personally, I kept my mouth shut with DS2. With DS1 everyone knew because of my surgery at 9+2wks and the fact that both me and bump were dangerously ill. There was no excitement as I had spent the prev 3 weeks since finding out I was pregnant at the GP trying to find the source of my pain (large cyst & necrotic tube). Consultant said that we were not out of the woods until I reached 20wks and was very glad for all the support I had.

DS2 I kept my mouth shut until about 14wks although close friends had guessed. Was very paranoid I was going to MC

We are now talking about #3 and although I will take an early test, again will prob keep shtum until the 3-4month mark or at least as close as I can make it to the 20wk scan.

i understand what you mean OP but you cant get away from the pregnancy announcements and you also dont know the backgrounds of every woman who announces (they may not want to lift heavy things etc due to previous MCs or they may be so excited after TTC for a long time)

i have had 4 MCs and have a DD. i told all and sundry about my first pg (MC#1 at 14 weeks) then told a few people about my second preg (DD ) my last 3 pregs all ended in MC prety quickly but i didnt get a chance to tell anyone except DH before bleeding started but as i have been TTC for 26 cycles i will be VERY excited to finally get pregnant and for it to stick so once i have had my early scan etc i will be shouting it from the rooftops

so sorry for your loss

xx ei xx