To think that waiting until the toddler is ready for toilet training is not a new concept. And that PT would be more successful if the child was ready

[pigletmania]

I know that i have done this to death, I have a dd 2.8 years and have studied Psychology to post grad level, so have a keen interest in child development especially in relation to potty training and the concept of 'readiness' A lot of people on MN feel that this is a fairly new phenomenen, but talking to my older relatives about it, seems to me that its not, and that parents have been waiting until the toddler is ready before starting potty training for years, I know that my mum did 30 years ago, and my mums cousin did 40+ years ago. I have a Dr Spock book, and even though some of the advice that he gives should be taken with a pinch of salt, even talks about waiting until the child is ready, and I think that he wrote his books in the 1950's but have been adapted for modern day reading.

For me personally, waiting until the child is ready is the way to go, I have tried on two occasions and dd is not ready and have failed. I feel that no amount of potty training will work unless the toddler shows signs of readiness, and thus are in for a long hard slog. It seems that those parents who wait until the child is ready have a fairly straightforward and easier time. I thow it open to you here, what do you think!

I might even do this as a future study once i get back into Psychology

My dd when I did it at 2.5 probably did show signs all the signs of readiness but would not sit on a potty and didn't really want to give up her nappies.

In the first 2 days she peed and pooed herself 8 times a day. Not one single pee or poo got anywher near the potty. If I hadn't perservered then I wouldn't have discovered that she "got it" on day 3 and has been dry day and night ever since.

If I had let her stay in nappies without pushing it then I suspect she may have taken at least 6 months longer which was a more money and work for me/ dh and more contents for the landfill

Don't forget that nappy companies have a vested interest in pushing the potty training age out as far as they can

YANBU. If it was up to my step mil, dd would have been on the potty at 6 months (because her perfect daughter was potty trained by 1 year, so she kept telling me.) As it happened, my dd was clean and dry in a week at 2.5 because she was ready.

My friend however, took her dd out of nappies too early and had months of accidents, was in and out of pull ups and it took months before her dd did a poo on the potty, meaning she was pooing her pants >>yuck

Thats good nugirl your dd was ready but they say if after a week there is still no progress than the child is not ready. Its not the nappy companies influencing at all no way, i did try my dd twice for a month each time with no progress, recently ended at the beginning of this month. I would love to give up nappies. Also it seems that this readiness for potty training may not be a new thing dreamed up by nappy companies, the concept has been going on until way before disposables were on the market. You cannot force a toddlers that is just not ready, from a personal view, i have tried it and failed miserably, so will try again when dd is nearing 3 years, anyway i definitely want her out of nappies by the time dc2 is born in July, and will put her in knickers wether she is ready or not when is is 3 years. There is so long that i can wait until dd is ready lol.

I think the problem with the 'trainer pants now is they don't know their wet when my eldest was a toddler the trainer pants where terry with a rubber outer, and they knew they'd had an accident.

I agree OP

I tried DS in pants when he was 2 , as i thought he should be dry, it was a disaster, so he went back in nappies. he was out of nappies again just before he was 3 and was dry day and night within days.

DD, i waited until she was almost 3 and she was dry day and night within 2 days.

if the child is not physiologically ready, then you can't force it can you

although i finmd the concept of eliminiation communication interesting, but it must be so time consuming, i would not have coped with it, but learning to recognise your child\s cues for wee/poo from birth must be helpful ?

It is impossible to potty train if the child isn't ready and I can't see how you can make a child be dry when you decide you want them to be.

DD1 at nearly 7 is only just dry at night! Something switched on a couple of months ago and she ditched the Pyjama Pants pull ups. I was elated as they cost a flaming fortune!

DD2 is physically ready to be out of nappies (she is 2.2), she can stay dry for hours (I leave her nappy off in the house and put her Minnie Mouse knickers on!) and lets me know when she wants to wee or poo BUT she refuses to use the toilet or a potty, she wants a nappy on. I would love her to be out of nappies but she isn't ready emotionally.

I did try those training pants from bright bots but dd had no concept of wetness just quite happy to be wet and to have wee running down her leg. I think that the crunch comes when the toddlers finds that uncomfortable and gets irritated by it, my dd would quite happily wallow in her own poo and wee. However i have this past week noticed some positive signs, such as telling me when she has done poo, and asking to sit on the potty a few times, even though nothing comes out and taking more of an interest in me going to the loo as she is with me. So mabey in a few months time she maby be ready.

Wow just reading all your accounts of your dcs potty training is really interesting. Yes i think Fanny that being dry at night is especially hard, even some adults find it difficult, my friend told me that she had occasional accidents at night when she dreamed of being on the toilet

I am not sure what to think on this subject. The reason for this was my experience in China.

Chinese babies are "toilet" trained very early. Many babies being with toilet training at around a month old with a majority of children fully able to control their bladder by around 12 months old.

www.chinesechildren.org/Newsletter/Professional%20Corner/PC_03_2004.pdf

Personally , mine were fairly early by European standards, and I think was due to a mixture of perseverance on my part and a little luck.

DS1 21 months (dry in the day and at night by 3 years old)
DS2 26 months (dry in the day and at night by 3 years old)
DD 25 months (dry day and night)

I wish i had saved myself a lot of trouble with dd by waiting until she was ready.I knew in my heart that you should wait until they are ready, but every person I met seemed to think that when a child is 2 years old you start training them.
Dd was my first dc and I hadn't got the confidence to say "you don't know what you're talking about,all children are different, just because xxxx was trained at 2 it doesn't mean dd will be"
As it turned out dd was nowhere near ready and I think starting early caused so many problems.
She wasn't dry in the day unitl she was about 6(and still had occasional accidents until about 8)we went to all sorts of proffessionals and although she was prescribed medication etc, I think the damage was done phychologically by starting too early and making to much of a big deal of it.
She wasn't dry at night until about 11 or 12 and even now at 15 she still has very occasinal accidents
When ds came along i dreaded starting with him (as you can imagine!)he was close to 3 before I even wanted to think about it.People seemed amazed that he was still in nappies, but I no longer cared what people thought,my arguement being dd was still not dry(she was about 5 at this time)and I couldn't cope with 2 of them making puddles.
One day ds asked me to take his nappy off because he needed a wee, and about 2 weeks later he was mostly dry, and he was dry at night a few months later.
sorry for long post,didn't think it would go on that much!

I have had a little pressure to toilet train my DS 25 months old, now but am determined to wait until HE is ready. It isn't about me or peer pressure. Its about whether my DS has the ability to recognise when he needs to go to the toilet. He has only in the last few days been able to tell me (occasionally) when he wants to do a poo/wee. I'm in no rush so why does it seem other people are!!

Bensmum, stick to your guns and be guided by your child.
Signs to look out for are
telling you when they have done a poo or wee
having dry nappies when you go to change them
telling you they need a wee or poo
sitting on the potty/toilet
doing a wee/poo on the potty/toilet
being uncomfortable when they have done a wee/poo in nappy

DD was 3.8. I did have to give her a push but then she was done in two days, two accidents and that was that. She was able to wait a good 15 minutes from the off too and also got that it was not a good idea to wait until we were on the bus before telling me she needed to go. She'd say beforehand.
It was a breeze, and of course now, at 8 you'd never know when her or any of her peers were dry.

My neighbour whose DS is 6 weeks younger went on and on about him being out of nappies at under two, and the same with her next two kids and she's right, they were. She's spent a good further 6 months with each cleaning wet and dirty pants though.

I'm far too lazy for that!

I encouraged mine to get on with it quickly. dd2 dragged her feet a little but it was all fairly fuss-free and I liked being rid of nappies.

Other people can wiat as long as they like. I wanted it done and dusted.

I remember months of frustration when DD was 2.9 or so and all her friends were wearing knickers. She simply refused to sit on the potty and if I did manage to get her to sit down (lots of coaxing, special stories etc) she would jump up after 5 minutes and promptly pee all over the floor. She did this five times in one morning and I had to concede defeat. I found it really hard to understand that a child who was very mature in lots of ways should be so keen to cling onto nappies.

For my next attempt, a few weeks later, I put her in Big Girl Pants to go to nursery. When I picked her up, she was still dry. Hurray, I thought, until I gradually realised from talking to the staff that she had not had a pee all day . At that point I realised that she was in charge and that it was totally futile for me to persist.

Fortunately she decided it was time at around 2.11, went straight onto the toilet and was dry day and night with no accidents from day one.

thesecondcoming

potties everywhere might work.