to want to buy my nephews a xmas present??

[sanfairyann]

I love xmas and all things xmassy so am quite possibly over-reacting to this. go on - I can take it - aibu to want to ignore db and go ahead and buy his kids presents even though we've been 'forbidden' from doing so?

brother lost job a while back and v skint. now he's announced he doesn't want to do pressies this year - not just for adults but also for the kids (we've both got 2, primary school). I suggested a budget of a few quid each but no - he just wants to cancel the whole thing cos they can't afford it. in fact, we've been banned from buying their kids anything I think anyone can afford a quid each for something from poundshop or even make something themselves and am getting in a right flap - mortally offended and upset for my kids (but will prob buy them something and wrap it up as if from them) and for his kids (I don't even know if he's going to tell them why they're not getting anything from us)

we had rellies who used to do this to us when we were kids and I was gutted. in fact I am gutted. so come give me some perspective. am so tempted to just ignore and turn up on the day with a few cheap but cheerful gifts for them.. db will go mental if I do - aibu??

does anyone else do this? is it normal? reasonable? aibu or is he a right miserable scrooge??

Actually on reflection bikini bottom makes a good point.

Howabout arranging something as she suggests in the runup to Christmas. You could explain that as you are all (including yourselves) feeling the pinch this year with things being a bit tight you think it would be lovely to just have a bit of fun together as a family instead of getting presents.

Would this work with db? If it would also wash could arrange some party games with little token pressies and make sure each child wins one.

yeah, I think I'm going to concentrate my energies on persuading him to do something nice like that as a family instead - or maybe take the kids off their hands for the day so they can have some time together (and us and the kids can go to the cinema/cafe for a treat). he might go for it. he's cutting off so much though. is very sad.