to think people should know that SN kids go to school

[donkeyderby]

Over the years, I have been asked quite a few times what my severely disabled child does during the day. I have to explain that he goes to school, much like any other child, as do all SN kids.

It is always middle class, often educated people who ask me this - what is that about?

Do people think that disabled kids spend all day in hospital or some sort of 'centre', being wheeled from basket-making to sing-song to pureed dinner?

Just interested, as in all honesty, I don't think I realised all disabled children went to school before I had DS

In fairness, when I was at hospital once (for some test on my eyes, I've had so many I forget which it was!) my mum was asked "is she in mainstream?". I had no idea there was anything BUT mainstream schools til my mum explained.

So now I get the funny looks when I tell people I do a film production course, but can't see well enough to drive.

I think that I would print out a little card of FAQ and hand it out-tell them it will have all they need to know.

Hopefully attitudes will change with future generations.

The SN school is actually now part of a large school campus (3 individual schools) (that's another story).

The children all share the same play area and are actively encouraged to BUDDY UP with those less able, whether it's because they can't move their own wheelchair or whatever.

seeker oh I agree it doesn't give people the right to be rude and ask if your dc is at school or to stare at them.

Can she squirt a water pistol?
Think I would give her one to squirt at starers.

....Or you could just squirt them yourself!

its becuase the thoughtof these children mixing with their own PFB is so terrifying they just block out the possibililty.

OK, I give up. The entire population of this country is rude and insensitive and hates people with special needs and wants to exclude them and stare at them and bully them. Everybody is horrified at the thought of a child with special needs in their own child's school, and they only ask questions because they are ignorant and nosy and prurient. Next time I see a woman trying to manouvre a wheel chair and 4 shopping bags up a curb, I won't tell my children to run and help, or if I do, I'll understand that they were being patronizing and be quite happy if they get a sarky response or get squirted in the face with a water pistol.

With cold water in it too seeker!

Actually I would be the first to get squirted as I used to work in a wheelchair centre and love to gawp at the latest wheelchair/special seating features.

Not if there is a person sitting in it though.

Are people really staring or are some people just oversensitive, interpreting everybody looking in that direction as staring

I got once accused of staring at someone in a wheelchair. I wasn't staring at them, I was 6 months pregnant waiting for DH to pick me up from the supermarket and he was half an hour late. I was standing there looking out the door getting more and more hormoanally emotional waitng for DH trying to see his car coming.
The carer was incredible rude to me when I don't think I had even noticed the wheel chair in the first place.

Hey Seeker hunni go easy. I know it's easy to think like that, especially when people are being rude. But remember not everyone thinks like that, most don't. To most people it's not a special needs child at their childs school, it's just another child at the school. No big deal to most people.

There will always be rude insensitive people, always. But these people are rude and horrid to everyone. Probably very lonely people who don't think before opening the big hole in their face where food goes in and crap (excuse me ladies) comes out.

But for me there is a difference between asking what you think is a caring question and it coming out wrong and offending, and people who act the way you described.

End of the day I'm sure your kids would run and help any person struggling with shopping bags and a door etc.

I'm sorry - there really should be a "sarcasm" emoticon!

Ah Seeker you had me worried there. wipes brow in relief

I have a funny back (scoliosis) was at the clinc and there is a young man I see often in a wheelchair with a mock bumper sticker on the back.

"If you stare long enough I may do an amazing trick"

When kids stare he says Hello and asks if they have any questions about his condition.

This really bugs me. I am a teacher of kids with PMLD/ complex needs, and SO MANY annoying people either don't realise the kids even exist, or think I'm "wasting" my career because "it's just caring, really, isn't it..." Makes me furious.