I'm always whinging about her but this time I just want to know if I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face or if enough's enough.
Sorry this is long.
MIL fussed and fussed when I was preggers with DS, she said it was her only chance to have another baby as she'd had a MC. When he was a day old he stopped breathing, we were rushed to hospital, where she turned up uninvited with half the family on children's ward, in tears, fussing around DS and DH and totally ignoring me. I'd just given birth and then thought my baby had died in my arms and watched them struggle to put a canula in etc (I know people go through worse but it was scary and I hadn't slept for days). So was in a bit of a state.
Anyway, I never said anything but she started to get weird over the next few weeks. She wanted to have a say in every tiny little thing with DS and started saying things like DH's ex fiance was asking after DS etc, when she knows we don't like each other and I was very hormonal (actually had PND).
She then turned and to others she went on about how she always had DS and he was doing this that and the other but she'd rarely bother to see him and she kicked off and left his christening early as she wasn't centre of attention.
Recently she's been saying to others that she needs reminding by her Dh that she has a grandson as she is so close to her great nephew that she just can't share out her attention. There is a lot of attention around this child as his mum died after giving birth and she gets attention when she's around him IYSWIM.
This time I'm pregnant she barely mentions it, she never calls, she never asks to see DS, she minds him one afternoon a week for a couple of hours so that they can have some nana-grandson time but she sometimes tries to get out of this saying she's going shopping or to the pub etc. She never visits our house (round the corner) and if we visit her we're made to feel unwelcome.
As you can imagine, the story is a whole lot bigger than this and I'm just giving little bits I feel are relevant, or an overview.
We asked her weeks ago if she'd like to come round the night we have a 4D scan and watch the video, explained my family and some more of DH's family were coming, that it's a ten min DVD and we'd put on a few drinks etc- a little family gathering. She said she would.
The 4D scan is tomorrow afternoon and we're travelling for it so everyone is coming round in the evening. She has just rung and said she won't be coming as her and her DH want to go to the pub. Her DH is grandchild mad so this won't be his decision. She said they'll call round Sunday. She does this all the time to be controlling- e.g, she tried to change the date of DS's christening for no apparent reason.
I don't want to spend Sunday with them when we've had everyone round Sat night. DH is working all day so it means them coming late and she'll expect us to keep DS up or will be loud and purposely wake him (all this has happened before). I have loads of work to do and I want to go and see my friend who's Dh has just left her and she's got a 12 week old baby. Then I want to put DS to bed and curl up with DH before we start a weeks work again.
So can I just tell her not to come on Sunday?