to wonder how people who say 'leave the housework and spend time with your DCs - they're only young once' always seem to have spotless houses?

[Undercovamutha]

And yet I feel guilty about not playing with my DCs enough, as I always seem to have too many 'chores' to do, yet my house is always a dump!

(And YES, I could be cleaning it now rather than being on MN!)

Really? I find the opposite - their houses are usually really messy, yet I rarely see them playing with their children!

I never really notice the state of peoples houses.

Oh I definitely do Crackfox - in the same way as I notice the 'glamorous' mums who drop their kids off at Playgroup. How DO they do it? I always look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards at 9am (and for most of the day actually!)

I spend plenty of time with DS and I can assure you that my house is a shit heap

maybe they do a little bit in each room every day so it never builds up to a huge job?

It is a bit of a mystery to me too

I do a little bit , often.
Dont let things build up.
And have a blitz every couple of weeks.
Only takes a few mins to wip down surfaces, pick up toys ets.
My house isnt immaculate, but presentable.

Is it because their children are older?

Its a lovely sentiment but not always possible.

People used to tell me to ignore the laundry when DS was tiny and just enjoy him - it was impossible to ignore given his projectile vomiting, we got through tons upon tons of clothes and bedding.

They don't really leave the housework they just incorporate it into their day in such a way that it doesn't feel like a huge task to be tackled that takes hours at a time. Or they have a cleaner

I only clean the areas other people see, and only just before they come round.

Except the lounge/dining room carpet and kitchen worktops. I do those every day.

But the rest...

They have a cleaner.

I seem to spend my whole life washing and hanging up washing too though.

I don't get a chance to do things as I go though cos I always get interrupted by DD doing a poo, or DS having a screaming fit, having to rush out the door to Playgroup, or DD battering DS etc etc Note to self - MUST be more organised!! (and housetrain DH!)

I spend plenty of time with my DS, I also have a relatively tidy house. It isn't spotless but it is tidy. I go back to work soon and will probably do most of the tidying at the weekend. I will just have to make time for it - I cannot live in a shit hole.

Mumsnet does make me giggle at times. If you don't iron your clothes or clean your house, it's implied that you're somehow a better mum. Not neccesarily this thread but I've seen plenty where it is. Makes me

Really? Not ironing or cleaning makes you a better Mum?

I'm just rubbish!

I'd rather cook with the DC, or play in the garden, read, make a train track etc and my house is not tidy at all.

Yesterday DS was poorly, so his LSA volunteer (whop was my Mother's Help 4 yrs ago) looked after him while I did my school run.

On my return my sitting room looked twice the size it had been when I left. In one hour of caring for a sick DS - I just think some folk have the knack?

I don't really understand the logic of this - while I haven't had my baby yet (counting the weeks until I can lie on my tummy again), I can see that it's just not possible to ignore jobs like laundry, cooking or washing up; if you don't do the laundry you run out of stuff to wear pretty quickly, if you don't cook you're hungry and if you don't wash up you've nothing to cook with/eat off of.

Seems to me like a pointless and unrealistic sentiment unless you've got someone else to do it for you [laughs hollowly at the idea of being able to afford to have a cleaner]

I say this and my house is a complete skip If people who say this do have spotless houses it's because they have cleaners

I'm going to run and hide now under my beautifully ironed curtains .

THANK YOU MUMSNET!!!

It's not just me. I looked like death at the school gates this morning. House is messy as anything cos I spent last night doing piano and homework with DS before running round like a mad woman to get things tidy. DH went to work at 6am leaving a trail of destruction in his wake.

I want a cleaner and an ironer and a backrubber! Stamps feet

Still, I think messy house is better than miserable kids. So what is there's paper mache on the floor and glitter on my work suit. I'm a mum!

Some people are just tidy! They seem to live in a tidier way and have rules others don't.

For example, my SIL is a VERY tidy person. She does have a cleaner, but she's also extremely tidy. Nothing is left to do later and things are always put away straight after use. It's just the way she is.

She does have some rules which I don't though. Her DS is allowed no more than 2 toys out at a time. Not sure if this is a tidiness thing or a parenting decision.

It was the advice I was most often given in the early days and in real life - don't bother about the housework, concentrate on the baby.

IT IS STUPID ADVICE unless you happen to have a cleaner or a good support network who will come and sort out laundry and clean the kitchen. It builds up, your home looks awful, you feel humiliated when anyone calls. You wind up spending more time looking for stuff than you would have spent organising things in the first place.

With DD1 it was relatively easy to follow that advice - and my house was pretty spotless- only had baby and house to concentrate on. With DD2 I'm lucky if I get the dishes done and seem tospend my entire life washing.

I agree that the advice to not bother about the housework during early days is rubbish. If anything, a dirty, messy household and laundry piling up makes the hectic early days MORE stressful. Better advice is ask people not to give presents, and instead to offer to tidy up the house!

In my experience, those people with tidy houses who say to not bother with housework are both naturally tidy and have cleaners.

If they are like me they probably have a blitz before anyone visits. Voila beautifully tidy house.

LOL at the immaculate mums.
I remember when DS was about a week and a half andI was determined to stay wearing nice clothes and make sure I had my hair and make up done (Fast forward over a decade and things have slipped abit but that's another story!!)
Anyway I had be in town at 9.00am. I was ready Said hair and make up done. New dress on and I was walking down stairs with him ready to go and he puked down my back and into my hair!!!!
Quick change into trackies and trainers, brief clean up job and out to keep the appointment looking like a right slummy mummy!!!